Bournemouth v Manchester United
Only the brave or oil and gas rich can be considering a punt on Jose’s mob here at current prices. They are odds on in places. Odds f**king on! That’s the same Red Devils who have shipped 17 goals in just 10 games so far. And don’t tell me the Cherries won’t be playing with a swagger after recording two wins inside a week. I recorded United’s recent 2-1 win over Everton and every time I’ve felt a little low or melancholic this week I just watch that Chris Smalling ‘tackle’ on Richarlison on 75 minutes. It’s beyond outrageous.
Betting: Over 3.5 goals at 39/20 (888 Sport)
Cardiff City v Leicester City
Leicester boss Claude Puel said the club has felt “numb” following the death of their chairman and you believe him when he says the result of Saturday’s clash with Cardiff is “not important”. Sadly, nothing will alter the tragic events of last Saturday and it remains to be seen how the players hold up after one of the more traumatic weeks in the club’s entire history.
Betting: Draw at 47/20 (888 Sport)
Everton v Brighton
Can I just say that gas companies are the new legalised mafia. I checked my account this week and had a £193 credit with a firm that shall remain nameless. Rang them with the thought that I’d politely ask for £100 back and they asked for a meter reading. I give one. They then say next my bill is £244. This despite me paying a direct debit every month and us enjoying a summer hotter than the Devil dancing to ‘Scatman’s World’. I’m genuinely at a loss as to their maths, unless ‘er indoors has a crop in the loft. The Seagulls were the worst team in the league on the road last year. Home win.
Betting: Everton to win to nil at 6/4 (bet365)
Newcastle United v Watford
After back-to-back clean sheets, Watford have to be the bet of the weekend at 7/4 to beat a Newcastle side who’ve made their worst start to a season in 120 years. The Hornets are rapid on the counter and might just be the most underrated team in the top flight right now. They bashed up Huddersfield last weekend and can ease past another side who can’t buy a goal at the minute in Newcastle.
Betting: Watford to win at 7/4 (bet365)
West Ham v Burnley
I needed West Ham to beat Spurs reserves for a cool 364 sovs in midweek so forgive me if I don’t back them at 4/5 here. Idiots.
Betting: No Goalscorer at 8/1 (bet365)
Arsenal v Liverpool
Huge test of potential title credentials for both teams, this, and I’m quite surprised to see Liverpool so short (at around the even money mark) given Arsenal’s stellar recent form. If you want a tasty punt at better than 5/1 you could do worse than have a go on Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to notch first. The Arsenal striker has been directly involved in 22 Gunners goals in just 23 Premier League matches so far, scoring 17 and laying on five assists. In the immortal words of Bobby George: “That’s the way to do it. Luvverly jubberly.”
Betting: Aubameyang to score first at 21/4 (888 Sport)
Wolves v Tottenham
Spurs are only five points off top spot even after that 1-0 defeat to Manchester City but can get back on track with a win at Molineux. Wolves started the season in impressive fashion but have lost their last two and not scored in over 180 minutes.
Betting: Tottenham to win at 5/4 (bet365)
Manchester City v Southampton
Manchester City are beginning to motor and the word on the street is star man Raheem Sterling has verbally agreed a lucrative new five-year deal with the club. If I was his agent, my starting point in terms of finances would have been that Michael Jackson is still earning £313million a year. And he’s been dead since 2009.
Betting: Sterling to score first at 9/2 (bet365)
Chelsea v Crystal Palace
Chelsea at 4/6 to cover a one-goal handicap here looks ridiculously solid, but if you are after a bigger price how about 3-0 at 15/2? Palace have not being playing quite as badly as results would suggest, but ‘Sarriball’ v ‘Hodgeball’? You do the math…
Betting: Chelsea to win 3-0 at 15/2 (bet365)