Burnley v Everton
So, the Beast from the East then? Nine hour waits for a taxi. Folk fighting each other over bread in Aldi and my mam texting me twice on Thursday insisting I wear a vest under my jumper. Colleen, I’m nearly 40. Leave it. I trust you are all reading this from home under a duvet cover and not on an office laptop? I’ve already told work I won’t be in today as I don’t see the need to put my life at risk this close to Cheltenham. Everton to win at Turf Moor though? Not a prayer. There’s more chance of me getting my grass cut this weekend.
Betting: Burnley to win at 6/4 (Hills/Sky Bet)
Leicester City v Bournemouth
A few facts. A female kangaroo has three vaginas. I have never driven a car with a full tank of petrol. And Leicester have never beaten Bournemouth in the Premier League. That said, the Foxes have lost just one of their last eight at home in the Premier League.
Betting: 1-1 draw at 7/1 (Bet Stars)
Southampton v Stoke City
Massive old relegation six-pointer this isn’t it? Stoke have won their last two in the league at St Mary’s by 1-0 scorelines and how Paul Lambert would love a bit more of the same on Saturday. Lambert knows a win almost certainly propels Stoke out of the bottom three and that would be a huge psychological boost at this stage of the season. Two poor teams, so it might be worth chancing a punt on Stoke here given how well they’ve done recently down on the south coast.
Betting: Stoke to win (draw no bet) at 57/20 (Marathon Bet)
Swansea v West Ham
The Hammers are poor away from home and the shout here is to trust Carlos ‘Sardines’ Carvalhal to mastermind another crucial win for Swansea. While all the while ignoring their absolutely shocking recent record at home to West Ham.
Betting: Swansea to win at 6/4 (Hills/Ladbrokes/Sky Bet)
Tottenham v Huddersfield Town
Spurs are racking up clean sheets for fun at ‘home’ and I don’t envisage a scenario where the Terriers – who have failed to score in 10 of 14 matches on the road – find a way past Tottenham’s defence here. 3-0 Spurs is 6/1 and looks genuinely tasty.
Betting: Tottenham to win 3-0 at 6/1 (Betfair)
Watford v West Brom
Think West Brom can still stay up? The bookies don’t and have them as short as 1/7 now for the drop. They’ve won just three games all season and looked a shambles last week. I’m absolutely amazed to see Watford at better than evens here and will be unloading the clip accordingly.
Betting: Watford to win at 23/20 (Betfred)
Liverpool v Newcastle United
Liverpool have scored more Premier League goals against the Toon than any other side in the competition (an eye-watering 89). They have a front three who are absolutely oozing machismo and who have been destroying defences wherever they’ve played recently. So 5/6 about Liverpool scoring three or more goals here looks peachy.
Betting: Liverpool to score 3+ goals at 5/6 (Bet Stars)
Brighton v Arsenal
Arsenal have not won any of their last six domestic away games so you’d have to be a proper f**king sausage to back them at odds on this Sunday.
Betting: Brighton to win (draw no bet) at 9/4 (bet365)
Manchester City v Chelsea
The champions elect face the champions and I can’t see any other outcome than a home win. Pep Guardiola’s men have won all bar one of their league games at the Etihad and will have too many attacking options for a pretty limited Chelsea side. They’ve won their last 13 home matches, and scored two goals or more on each occasion during that sequence. That said, Willian has been awesome for the Blues recently and having scored away to Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool and Tottenham already this season Chelsea should be good for a goal at least.
Betting: Manchester City to win and both teams to score at 9/4 (Bet Stars)
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