Chelsea hijack Onana, Arsenal score left-back as Everton, Forest players cherry-picked after FFP breach

Everton have done it again and Forest have joined them on the Premier League naughty step. Both clubs have been charged with alleged breaches of profitability and sustainability regulations and could be fined or given points deductions.

Given Everton and Forest are one and four points above the relegation zone respectively, they each face the very real prospect of being relegated to the Championship as a result of any sanction, though an appeal back-stop date of May 24 means they could end the campaign not knowing which division they’ll be playing in next season. Ridiculous.

Anyway, should they get relegated there will be some Premier League-quality players ripe for the picking from each club, and we’ve divvied them out. You’re welcome, guys.

We’ve only gone as far as the top ten players from each club according to Transfermarkt’s market value, because a) we’ve got better (or at least other) things to do, b) do you *really* think clubs are going to be queuing up for Matt Turner or Seamus Coleman? and c) would you be at all interested if they were?

Amadou Onana – Chelsea
Arsenal are supposedly very keen after Mikel Arteta’s failed Kai Havertz experiment, and so are Manchester United after Erik ten Hag’s failed… football experiment. But neither are going to be able to stump up the £50m+ Everton want for Onana. Enter Chelsea, who apparently still have more FFP leeway than they know what to do with, and let’s face it, not knowing what to do with money is kind of their thing. Another central midfielder, please.

Vitaliy Mykolenko – Arsenal
Has there been a better left-back in the Premier league this season? Possibly not. You certainly won’t have seen a better one at the Emirates.

Jarrad Branthwaite – Manchester United
Tottenham are, or rather were, interested before they signed Radu Dragusin, and apparently Carlo Ancelotti remains a big admirer, leading news outlets to quite reasonably talk up Real Madrid links. But it’ll be United, won’t it? The poor lad.

Jordan Pickford – Crystal Palace
Entirely worth it for the look on Dean Henderson’s face when he realises he’s the third-choice England goalkeeper at Crystal Palace.

Dominic Calvert-Lewin – Brentford
Ivan Toney will leave in the summer and who better to fill the void than the Premier League’s worst finisher?

READ MORE: Premier League’s ‘worst’ Calvert-Lewin over FFP sanctions in problems for Sean Dyche and Everton

James Garner – Wolves
He would have been a whole lot more useful to Manchester United than Christian Eriksen was on Sunday, and wouldn’t be short of suitors after an impressive season for Everton. Wolves may be in need of a central midfielder with Spurs sniffing around one of theirs.

Dwight McNeil – Fulham
Willian, brilliant though he continues to be, cannot go on indefinitely.

Nathan Patterson – Crystal Palace
He’s a decade younger than current Palace right-back Nathaniel Clyne and probably a bit better than him too.

James Tarkowski – Brentford
Reunited with Ben Mee. Lovely.

Abdoulaye Doucoure – One of the Als
He’s been on-and-off linked with a move to the Middle East for a while and one of the Als – Ahli, Nassr, Hilal – will presumably offer him a big chunk of change.

Morgan Gibbs-White – Tottenham
He’s playing like an Ange Postecoglou player already – dashing about, always looking forward and making things happen – and the Spurs boss is thought to be a big fan.

Ibrahim Sangare – Newcastle
Jose Mourinho will need a central midfielder when Bruno Guimaraes gets poached.

READ MORE: Newcastle stars reassigned to comply with FFP: Joelinton to Arsenal as Man Utd finally land £50m man

Taiwo Awoniyi – West Ham
David Moyes chose Gianluca Scamacca over Awoniyi, and probably wishes he hadn’t. The Hammers will definitely be in the market for a new No.9 and the Nigerian fits the Moyes bill.

Danilo – Aston Villa
He’s talented but very raw, and we would love to see what Unai Emery could do with him as a replacement for Douglas Luiz.

Orel Mangala – Galatasaray
He’s been heavily linked already.

Murillo – Chelsea
22 or younger? Check. Brazilian? Check. Potential? Check. Likely to crumble under the pressure of a big club? Check.

Anthony Elanga – West Ham
Lucas Paqueta surely isn’t long for the Hammers, who will need someone on the left. And Elanga has been pretty darn effective for Forest on the break this season, which is Moyes’ bag. It would be a neat fit.

Nicolas Dominiguez – Bournemouth
Firmly in the ‘there’s something about him’ category also inhabited by a number of Bournemouth players and their manager, Andoni Iraola.

Neco Williams – Luton
Possibly not the trajectory the Liverpool academy graduate would have envisioned, but what we will say is that this would only happen if Luton remain in the Premier League.

Moussa Niakhate – Crystal Palace
Palace surely can’t keep both Marc Guehi and Joachim Andersen beyond the summer. They’ll need a new centre-back or two.