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De Gea’s done
This time last year the thought of David De Gea leaving United would have filled me with dread. His decline this season, epitimised by his weird little hop on the spot for Barca’s goal last night, has been rapid. It is hard to tell if he has lost focus, or drive, or the desire to constantly dig United out of the shit but he has definitely lost something. His concentration seems to be so bad that I could swear he wasn’t even looking at the ball last night when Suarez’s tame header came back across him.
United should sell him while his stock is still relatively high. I never thought I would ever advocate that but, as amazing as he has been over the years, he is becoming a liability and if it is linked to his contract negotiations, even on a sub-conscious level, he needs to go.
Mangor United, Belfast
Not too downhearted
A lot has been made about how bad our squad is but there are some positives, I cannot believe what has happened to Mctominay since Ole took over I’m not quite sure Matic is going to get any game time going forward
That being said the summer can;t come soon enough so we don’t have to play Young again he offers nothing going forward or backward it is almost like playing with ten men , we might have won a lot more games with someone anyone else at right back
Is Fred only suited for European football ? This and the PSG game were some of his better performances there were quite a few times were he won the ball back if we had done better with the final balls this would have been a different game
Were still in it for now and we will need a similar but more clinical display at the camp Nou .Ole got it spot on today despite the result , I think the loss of the stars isn’t going to make much difference as a lot of them are currently spent forces getting into the team based on reputations .If we buy or discover more players with attitudes like Rashford and McTominay we will probably still be there or thereabouts one way or another it will be interesting.
Toiling at Old Trafford
A quick summary of the 3 biggest United games at home in Europe this season..
At Old Trafford:
– Lost 0-1 to Juve (thoroughly outplayed)
– Lost 0-2 to PSG (thoroughly outplayed)
– Lost 0-1 to Barça (dignified defeat, 0 shots on target though)
I want to ask why do even united fans show up as it is for big games at home on the european stage?? You won’t even score let alone win! The gulf of class is shocking. You have created and nurtured a culture of defeat well before the kick off & how the excuses such as “we weren’t really that bad” became so… par for course. This was a side which has historically struggled in Europe but at the same time after getting clobbered 0-3 in Milan in 2007 went on 24 matches unbeaten getting to consecutive finals! Old Trafford was a helluva fortress. They gave me a lot of sleepless nights as a Liverpool fan I’ll tell you! Now, well, they’ve moved past the meme or easy joke stage.. and don’t tell me they did PSG 3-1 on the away leg. That was VAR. And it was PSG.
Ashley Young is your team captain FFS!
Raúl H. García (Liverpool can’t keep losing finals, we must WIN!!) LFC-YNWA 1892
Another lazy 12 conclusions:
1. I wholeheartedly agree with Sarah about Ashley Young; he was dreadful all game but this was just the peak of his a nadir a long time in the making. He has played well at times this season, his maturity and experience have been useful assets and the odd game here and there he has kept a superior opponent at bay. However, these were exceptions from the very definition of a “6/10 player”. A useful servant he may be, but useful servants shouldn’t be starting huge games like this. Any good opportunities that arose down the right were instantly neutralised by his inability to find any teammate at all.
2. I know he’s inexperienced and may make mistakes but I can’t see for the life of me why Dalot isn’t starting more matches at right-back. He was pretty good yesterday, even playing out of position, so I don’t see how he could possibly be any worse than Young. He is a good defender, has great pace and is actually a useful attacking outlet – all things that are not true of Young. Until the end of the season we really ought to start him in every game, if only just to see what he can do.
3. Surprisingly, the defence held up pretty well. We restricted the shockingly underwhelming Barcelona attack to feeding off relative scraps, and avoided the embarrassment that looked likely on paper. There were still moments of concern – the odd mistake, signs of nerves, and disorganisation – but for the most part they did quite well.
4. Except for the goal. This was one of those moments where more organisation was needed; the biggest thing we’re missing back there is still a leader, who can properly corale his colleagues into the right shape. Messi and Suarez had too much time and space and, though his header was probably going wide, Coutinho would likely have turned in the header had it not clipped Shaw. I do think these types of mistakes are correctable but only if we acquire someone who can better organise the defence during a game.
5. The best player of either team, in my (completely unbiased) opinion, was McTominay. He’s making quite the habit of performing really very well in the absence of Matic. I don’t think there is any real argument to suggest that Matic should automatically regain his place when he’s fit again, because his own form hasn’t been a patch on young Scott’s. Maybe it’s just a purple patch but maybe not. Either way, he deserves to keep playing because he has really been excellent recently.
6. I said before the game that Pogba would either be brilliant or horrendous but as it turned out it was just average. He didn’t do anything particularly wrong but equally he didn’t do anything good either. He wasn’t quite as anonymous as he has been recently, winning a couple of free-kicks in dangerous positions, but there was nothing about his performance to suggest that Barcelona have suffered by missing out on his signature a couple of years ago. It’s just not good enough for a supposedly world class, World Cup-winning midfielder with apparently extortionate wage demands.
7. The attack is what really let us down though. Not just Lukaku and Rashford, because the service into them was absolutely non-existent, but as a collective we didn’t give Ter Stegen anything to do at all, and that’s just not conducive to winning football games. Burnley proved that you can win a match without having a shot on target but it’s virtually impossible to achieve. Both Lukaku and Rashford strayed out wide too regularly, leaving us under strength in the box. We looked a lot better when Martial came on for Lukaku – his movement caused their defence far more issues, so it’s a shame he didn’t start the game. Barca looked surprisingly vulnerable when Martial started running at their back line, so that’s something to take note of for next time.
8. One criticism of Rashford is the insistence on taking virtually every free-kick in an attacking position. Those Ronaldo-esque attempts are effective when you get them right but in a game of limited chances, it seems unnecessarily wasteful to keep trying them after repeated failures to even register a shot on target. It was obviously not going to be his night so it was a mistake to keep trying them.
9. If we can get a front three of Martial, Lingard and Rashford fit and firing before the second leg then we might have a better chance. We have looked at our best when those three have started together, which is something that hasn’t happened since the Liverpool game (as far as I recall). It’s very much a case of all our eggs being in one basket but at their best they are a potent attack, it’s just whether we can get them to the level we need them to be in time.
10. One thing that continues to infuriate me is the inconsistency of refereeing, even within the context of one game. Luke Shaw gave away a free-kick in the second half when the ball hit his hand, which was by his side at the time, yet there was a clear handball where the Barca player had his hands up by his face and that wasn’t given. Smalling got a yellow card for leaning on Suarez’s shoulder when going up for a header, but there was no booking for the knee-high lunge in the first few minutes of the game. Neither incident would necessarily have lead to a goal but it’s just irritating to see referees not applying the same laws consistently in a match.
11. Also, what is the point of the offside law? I’m not saying that the goal should have been ruled out but Suarez started his movement for the goal in an offside position, so surely there’s some advantage being gained there. I know he was onside when he actually received the ball but surely that was the same phase of play, considering it was about 2 seconds later? As I say, by the law of the game, it was probably right but is the law in itself right? To me, offside is fundamentally anti-football and I would like to see it done away with entirely but them’s the breaks.
12. The tie certainly isn’t over, which before the game was about as good as I was hoping for. It does mean that we go to the Nou Camp needing to win by two, which isn’t beyond the realms of possibility (after that PSG game, anything is possible), but we need to buck our ideas up a bit. We’ll need to be better in defence – I think it’s safe to assume Barca will be more confident at home – but we’ll need to be far better in attack. Barca’s defence was far from convincing and I do think that they’ve got a mistake or two in them but if/when those mistakes come then we’ll need to be far more clinical. All things considered, it could have been worse so at least we’re still in it.
…So last night showed United fans exactly how far we have to go to be competing at the top table again.
Ashley Young should be nowhere near this team I think Ole should of pulled him for Martial and dropped Dalot in at right back.
Scott McTominey was phenomenal last night, breaking up play, using the ball well and dovetailed really well with Fred.
Back to Young, he couldn’t cross a road even if he was stapled to the bloody chicken, Captain as well FFS.
On to Barca, Steve Biscuits is a despicable piece of work, he could of walked twice last night and the knee high assault on Pogba should of been a straight red. Jordi Alba’s strange headbutt of Young’s chest then throwing himself on the floor holding his face was prime Barca shithousery, glad the Linesman was stood right in front of it or else the ref could of taken action. Talking of the ref, he went to VAR for the goal yet when McTominey was fouled for a penalty (it was a penalty) he waved it away, what is the point of VAR? no really what is the point?
No matter what pundits and fans of other clubs are saying this game isn’t over, drop Young and Lukaku play with pace at the Camp Nou and we could be looking at another Paris, or Messi might find his way out of Smalling’s pocket and put on a masterclass.
Paul Murphy, Manchester
1: Ashley Young is bad at football.
2: If the pass reaches Ashley Young, it should be considered a bad pass.
3: Ashley Young had more space than a meteor rock flying through the galaxy and still managed to do absolutely nothing with it.(which begs the next question, is space even real?)
4:Ashley Young managed to sneak a contract extension while United couldn’t tie down Herrera, somehow, someway, he always stays. This man will still be a United player next year.
5: Watching Ashley Young wear the Captains Armband every week is starting to deteriorate my health. I cannot for the life of me understand the logic behind it, but alas, we continue.
6: What kind of professional footballer fails to complete all of his first 11 attempts at crosses? Ashley Young, that’s who.
7: Ole taking Dalot off and keeping Ashley Young on was a bit of no thanks from me.
8: Ashley Young has spent 5 years too long at Manchester United and that must end now.
Other than that, United were okay despite creating next to no chances. McTominay and Fred both excellent. Look forward to losing 5-0 at the Nou Camp
…Six conclusions from a neutral:
1. Best three united players: Dalot, Fred and smalling
2. If united can sell pogba for half the price of Coutinho they would be getting a good deal
3.If messi/suaraz or salah had gone down when mctominay did it would have been a penalty
4.Surprised ole hasnt brought lingaard on to break the lines… seems the kind of game he could really disrupt
5. Oh they brought him on…. if his was a yellow against vidal mctominays was definately a penalty!
6. And probably the most controversial… if VAR is being used to correct mistakes the referee makes in real time surely it could be used to correct mistakes after the match has finished. For example – Ramos admitted to getting a yellow card on purpose so it was overturned, surely you could review footage and overturn smallings /Lindelofs yellow card on vidal because video showed he didnt touch him (p.s. it was criminal vidal wasnt on your list of sh*thousers)
Tom, tractor boy in switzerland
…Couldn’t agree more about Ashley Young. When any member of United’s back four was doing anything other than defending their goal, they made regular errors. Misplaced passes, getting in each others way, relentless wild crosses, generally looking uncomfortable with possession… those four were poor. They couldn’t be relied upon to contribute going forwards, and that was a huge problem.
And Leeds, oh Leeds. Come on Leeds. Five games to go. Let’s hope Millwall get all tough-guy in Sheffield United and put a stop to their momentum.
…What a fantastic performance from the plucky little underdog last night, it has restored my faith in football and shown that the big money spenders can’t have it their own way all the time.
Right from the Lindelhof the Fred of the game was set and they made Shaw that Barca couldn’t get into second DeGea, in no Smalling way by not dilly Daloting on the ball, these Young charges were always Lukakuing to score and but for a few Rashford decisions could well have earned themselves a memorable draw.
Or not! Was Steve McManaman, “Fletch” and the others watching the same game? This was MANCHESTER UNITED at home, with a very vociferous and partisan crowd behind them and yet they failed to register a single shot on target in a home European game, since Opta began! They also kept telling us how badly and sloppy Barcelona were playing but every time I looked in the top left hand corner it said MU 0-1 BAR, and they were having around 70% possession.
United could still win the tie, Barca could do a PSG and believe it’s over all ready which it clearly isn’t, but please don’t try and convince us this was a good performance, it wasn’t.
To be fair, it wasn’t as bad as the orgasms being had on the other channel every time Ajax strung three passes together or got within 20 yards of the Juve goal. Martin Keown even described the equalizer as “text book”, wonder what page “hoof the ball and hope the defender mis-controls” is on?
Howard (no way I was getting MOM McTominay (apologies to Rakitic) and Pogba, did he actually play, in there) Jones
Everything’s going to be fine
Now I thought United picked a hardworking Xi and contained Barca quite well, leaving themselves with an odds against, but not another absolute miracle needed situation, for next week in the Camp Nou.
Then I read this: ‘Solskjær pointed to Manchester United’s famous 1999 Champions League triumph as evidence they can score the goals needed to knock Barcelona out in next week’s quarter-final second leg’
And I immediately thought, ‘Ole might be at it, but he’s lost his grip on the whee-ality’ (yeah, that’s poor now i’ve typed it all out – sorry). Telling his players, that when they were all kids, in a game nearly 20 years ago, that United managed to score twice in that stadium, against a different club to the one they’re playing now, is an indicator of what they could do in the 2nd leg? Not exactly playing 4D chess their Ole.
But then I remembered a story I heard about Liverpool before the 1984 European Cup in Rome, the same place / stadium they’d won their first European Cup seven years earlier. Apparently the night before in the hotel bar, manager Joe Fagan said to the team, ‘lads we won here seven years ago, so we’ll definitely win tomorrow. Phil (Neal) is the only one left from 1977, when he scored, and so he’ll definitely score tomorrow as well. Stay up as late as you like, this round is on me’. All i’m saying is, check the record books.
Apparently in 2011, a few days prior to the Champions League Final at Wembley between United and Barcelona, Pep Guardiola gave every member of the squad a copy of the 1992 European Cup Final (Barca v Sampdoria) on DVD, with his own face and a picture of the old Wembley on the front, with ‘(esencialmente el mismo lugar)’ wrote underneath. The spent the whole week sat round the pool or sightseeing, London Eye, Aberdeen Angus Steakhouse etc. Again, check the record books.
And finally in last year’s final, as Zidane prepared to send on Gareth Bale as a substitute, a player he has a well known lack of communication with, he took out a little picture of his famous volleyed winner v Bayer Leverkusen in the same competition final in 2002. He showed it to Gareth, pointed at himself, pointed at the trophy, pointed at Gareth then pointed at Liverpool’s goal. See, it’s not rocket science is it?!
Don’t check anything, you’ll remember what happened!
So to sum up, if the manager or club has played in the same ground or against the same club in that competition at some point previously and won, it will be fine. It will probably be fine.
Bored of Barca
For context, I’m an Arsenal fan. Watching Utd put in a decent shift without ever testing Ter Stegen however I have serious beef with Barcelona: nothing new, mainly from continental teams, but they’re an absolute f*cking disgrace with their antics. The continual falling over when a hair on their head is brushed is disgusting and they should have several, really heavy books thrown at them. This bollocks needs clamping down on majorly (numerous bans and massive fines would be a start) as the pathetic officials fall for it time and time again.
And Busquets isn’t a sh*thouse. He’s just a lucky f*cker who should have been sent off. Either the blatant foul or obvious handball should have been a second yellow but yet another incompetent official deemed otherwise.
If I’m frustrated bugger knows how Utd fans are feeling. Good effort – just needed more creativity.
Too early to judge Pep
Now I’m not one for controversial statements (not all the time, only when Vuukle allows), but on the review of the Spurs v City CL game, there was a line that made me wonder.
“Guardiola is one of the greatest managers in history”
Is he? Is he actually?
Now don’t get me wrong, the side he formed at Barca side was legendary. He won things with Bayern. He is producing a decent City side. But in each case he has had amongst the very best of ingredients to work with. At Barca he had Messi, Iniesta and Xavi among other stupendous talents. What he produced was mesmerising (if astoundingly boring a lot of the time in truth) and effective, but it was what you should expect from a collection of the finest players of a generation in a league they utterly dominate most of the time.
At Bayern he only achieved what you’d expect with those players. At City, while no one can doubt what he’s achieved, you can definitely doubt the level of excitement beyond the Etihad. Surely, it’s reasonable to expect more? And if that’s the case, can you really say he’s one of the greatest? Like when Jensen Button was destroying all competition because he had an “I win” button on his steering wheel. Excellent driver, but one of the greatest?
One thing I do know is that if Giggs or Ole had overseen this loss and those errors of judgement he would be being called naive on this site, and it would be fair enough. I think Pep is lacking in this area, and while he can bring the very best from players, his own management and decision making is sometimes lacking as is his tactical flexibility.
Sir Alex was a master at getting the best from often only decent players. He could drive a team forwards by sheer will and fear, to perform year after year… as long as it was in the league. But when it came to Europe he was often guilty of receiving a tactical masterclass from lesser teams. He’s considered one of the greatest for his league successes and sheer durability, but in Europe he should have done more.
While Pep will likely go on to be one of the greatest, I think it’s very early to declare it, and will take more than steering a collection of the most amazing talents to victory to earn that place.
Double the fun
A large complaint about VAR seems to be that it spoils the celebrations of fans in the stadium
Well I call bullsh*t and bandwagon jumping!!
Goal goes in, Crowd go crazy and celebrate (for 2mins according to Dip Essex Spurs)
Then…. hush, VAR is checking, so some nervous tension (for both sets of fans) panic, nailbiting, anticipation
Then…. GOAL GIVEN!
Cue Massive celebrations all over again..
So you get double the fun, for my money… Not half?
In the Liverpool V Porto Game last night, the crowd were cheering and celebrating thing they would never normally have done
Red Card being checked..!
What, Who, When, Why..??? Nervous tension, nailbiting, wondering, panicking…
Decision:- NO RED CARD !!
Cue huge cheers and celebrations!
Who cheers no red card that you didnt even know was a possibility….
So stop ya pointless moaning and arguing for things that have never been a thing, even if the sun, mail, mirror, Adrian Durham say they are all real things and make youir own actual mind up
Al LFC (What is a bandwagon, sounds like from Cowboy times with some old beardy men in suits, playing the cornets and trumpets, why would you want to jump on that?)
… Dip, point absolutely taken but let me give a different spin on where VAR will cause excitement: imagine being at loggerheads with your nearest rivals (via points or geography, doesn’t matter) and they score in the 3rd minute of injury time to win something – even if just bragging rights. You’re distraught, absolutely gutted. That kind of stomach churning despair that follows when you know your team are fallible and you know it’s going to hurt for days, if not weeks.
But wait, there’s a VAR review. Could be that the VAR crew have seen something untoward: Your heart rate quickens, palms a-sweaten (should be a word) and the excitement creeps back into your soul. The 2 minute wait seems like an eternity and the excitement continues to grow until, finally, the goal just minutes ago that had broken your heart was disallowed and life was back on track. Euphoria struck and all semblance of being a fan of your beloved club had returned.
Alternatively, imagine that very same scenario without VAR and finding out 20/30/40 minutes after the final whistle that the goal that has broken you should have been disallowed for whatever reason. You would be Furious (capital F deliberate) and, rightly, you and your fellow fans would go into meltdown via social media, 606 or whatever platform.
Or…. ok, I’m bored now. The point is that yes, the permutations are numerous but it still has the potential to deaden an atmosphere or cause a raucous atmosphere, it could actually add to the drama even more.
I’m not saying I like it. It’s there so we gotta live with it. What I’m saying is that there are varying scenarios where VAR could take us from despair, to joy, to despair or joy again and much the same as football does to us now and always has, it will continue to ‘even itself out over a season’.
Also, it’s subjective. The stonewall calls still remain stonewall, but the other marginal ones remain subjective due to the final decision belonging to a human.
Not fooled by Kane
I don’t wish Harry Kane any ill if his injury really is enough to keep him out for even one game, but – he should not have been on the pitch since the 15th minute, and Tottenham should have been playing with ten men.
Kane obviously faked a “face” injury in the penalty area when there was absolutely no contact. He was looking for a penalty, he should have had a red card for simulation, and ergo not on the pitch to get hurt when he put himself into an ego-fueled challenge with Fabian Delph.
The commentators on my US feed were hailing “England Captain, Golden Boot Winner” Kane. Let’s just call him what he is. I’ll leave you all to fill in the blank.
Steve (I think my Steve’s Eleven, Unpublished, was pretty good) Los Angeles
Easiest job in the world
Random one: Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s something in the water or maybe I’m turning into the curmudgeonly old fart I’m destined to be faster than I thought, but right now my blood is boiling easier than butane.
Reports of players being scouted is what has done it. Correction: reports of established international and league stars being scouted is what has done it. Right now it’s Christian Eriksen. Heard of him? Course you have.
Apparently Inter are scouting him. Why? What more could some portly Italian scout sitting in the stands with a notepad counting the accuracy of his sideways backways passes possibly add to any dossier deciding on whether to submit a bid for Eriksen?
Insert your favourite, funniest frustrated exclamation of dismay here. For the record, mine’s ‘f*ck the cat!’. No, I don’t know why, sorry.
So please go and scout capless Billy McUnknown playing in a remote, un-televised league somewhere, but please stop with stories of world famous players being scouted.
My blood is practically foaming from my ears right now.
Dr Oyvind, Earth
Bring on the ban
I’m writing this as the hearing regarding Chelsea’s transfer ban is starting.
If the ban is inforced, can I remind gloating rival fans that:
A) A large amount of fans (including myself) think it’s the best thing that could happen to the club by forcing us to bring youth/loan players through, as well as showing patience with our current coach.
B) It’s very unlikely that we were the only club doing this and it won’t be long before its your turn.
Adam (At least 5 on loan players should be in the first team squad next season), Birmingham
What is handball?
I’ve just had an idea to solve the problem about handball and what and what isn’t a natural position:
Before the people who send down guidelines down to the referees can do so, they have to prove that they have played a competitive game of football at a decent standard as a defender.
That way they will maybe learn that having your hands glued to your sides is almost always the most unnatural position you can ever have your arms in. It’s farcical that so many of the people in charge look like they’ve never run ten metres in their life, let alone played football at a high level.
…Some excellent responses from Shappo and Howard Jones on the use of VAR. It gives me a warm fuzzy glow knowing that at least some people are rational and understand why things happen how they do. Can’t have any of this emotion getting in the way can we?
On the VAR debate itself, one of my bug bears is people noting that the opposition didn’t appeal for the penalty for Man City. And also how it wasn’t ‘clear and obvious’. Well lets smash those two issues together shall we?
Surely a professional footballer in a high stakes match is going to take advantage of every opportunity out there. This includes appealing for all and sundry – witness Pep in the same game appealing for another penalty late on when Danny Rose turned his body side on with arms at his side and blocked a cross. Absolutely not a penalty but the question was still asked (or screamed at the ref like a banshee in most cases).
As for the penalty itself, no one appealed, not even Sterling who took the shot. Why not, therefore, when we know even the merest hint of a handball in the box will garner plaintive pleading from the attacking team? Maybe everyone missed it cos it all happened so fast in a crowded penalty area? So does that not, possibly, constitute a ‘clear and obvious error’ if absolutely no-one noticed an actual handball and therefore needed it to be reviewed?
Another thing. Let’s indulge the argument that Rose’s arm couldn’t be anywhere else instead of sticking out at a 45 degree angle up in the air. It still hit his arm, and it was a shot that seemed to be at least attempting to go on target. So then the decision comes down to whether or not it was deliberate, and who gets to make that decision? Who gets to take a millisecond to gain insight into the inner psyche of a professional footballer and decide whether or not it was deliberate or a completely innocent flailing of limbs? Do we really want to be having that debate and heaping that onto the poor, overburdened referee? Surely better all round if we remove that element of interpretation and stick to facts: the ball hit the arm = freekick/penalty.
Yeah there will be a few incidents of crafty players (probably all foreign Jeff!) who will dink the ball at a poor unsuspecting defenders arm at first, but then eventually, as Shappo suggests, the game will adapt and defenders will learn how to shield their arms away and/or have the physio dismember the offending limbs. Much simpler all round.
Rob (always thinking rationally but only when sober), Leicester
… Why doesn’t football adopt the ‘American Football’ replay review rule? – Each team gets 2 reviews per game (if the decision is overturned they don’t use one of those reviews). A review could only be requested by the captain on the field, or the coach to the 4th official.
The benefits would be 2 fold.
1) Players would finally stop harassing the ref every decision – if you know it’s the wrong call you would run over to your captain or coach to protest innocence. You’d look pretty stupid if you wasted a review when you were in the wrong.
2) There’s a cap on the number of times a game is stopped, but more importantly – when it is stopped it’s clear why. In an ideal world – the screens would show the replays or the announcer would explain the decision under review.
There would need to be some guidelines to ensure that only specific incidents could be requested (to stop farcical late goal reviews just in case there was something) but it seems to make a lot more sense than the current system.
Josh (recently moved to the US), THFC
I don’t understand it. Though, I have to admit, I don’t enjoy driving. So yesterday, we discover another footballer has been charged with drink-driving.
Apart from being really irresponsible & dangerous, I just don’t understand how Premier League footballers continue to do it.
If you earn £50k-£300k a week, why wouldn’t you simply pay somebody £50k a year to drive you around for a living? Surely that’s more than the national average annual wage? There’d be lots of takers wouldn’t there?
By the way, FAO any footballers that would like me to drive you around for a year, I’ll do it for £49k.
(Unless you’re Dele Alli – sorry bud, you seem like a proper knob).