Rice unveils new secret free-kick weapon as Arsenal dominate and dismantle Real Madrid
So hands up who knew Declan Rice could do that?
Sure, we all knew he had become pretty much the complete midfielder over the last couple of years. He’s been the best defensive midfielder England have available for some time now, but has never been only that. He’s always had far more about him as a midfielder than mere destruction.
But we didn’t really have him down as a ‘whipping unstoppable free-kicks beyond one of the best goalkeepers in the world’ merchant.
Questions will have to be asked about quite why it took so-called set-piece so-called genius Nicolas Jover so very long to hit upon the Mr Burnsesque brilliant strategy of simply telling Rice to whip unstoppable free-kicks beyond one of the best goalkeepers in the world.
Or perhaps he’s even cleverer than we thought and had been holding this special play back for when Arsenal needed it most in their biggest game of the season. In which case, one has no choice but to just admire the enormous big balls of it all and doff caps to all involved.
You can decide for yourself where this wild 3-0 win ranks among English football’s greatest nights in this competition. Dullsters and low-ranking members of the Celebration Police will probably already be readying themselves to p*ss on Arsenal’s cornflakes by noting that nothing is won yet and there’s a second leg to come and all the rest of it.
But as an encouraging first half from an injury-ravaged Arsenal side was followed by surely the most extraordinary 45 minutes of Mikel Arteta’s reign this really doesn’t feel like a night for sober reflection. This is a night for giddy over-reaction and entirely convincing yourself that Arsenal are going to not only win the Champions League but also that Liverpool probably won’t get a single point more in the Premier League either.
Obviously, correctly, and necessarily, Rice will take all the headlines for such a truly absurd pair of free-kicks. To score one of those at a big moment in your entire career is the sort of thing that goes down in legend. To do it twice in the space of 12 giddy and absurd minutes having never, ever scored a direct free-kick before is the stuff of nonsense and make-believe. These are things that just don’t happen.
But this was a million miles from a one-man show. And those free-kicks weren’t even that one man’s only trick. Even before he scored, Rice was having an enormously impressive evening, one that only perhaps Bukayo Saka was joyously exceeding having been restored to the Arsenal starting line-up and set about showing everyone just what they’ve been missing.
This wasn’t quite a Bale-Maicon evisceration, but David Alaba will not remotely be relishing going up against Saka again a week from now having been turned inside out and left in a spin throughout the Arsenal man’s dazzling 74-minute contribution.
It now seems churlish indeed to bemoan Arsenal’s lack of a striker given what we’ve just witnessed, but it’s hard to imagine someone with a proper goal-sniffer’s poaching instinct wouldn’t have got on the end of at least one of the cross after cross Saka sent fizzing across the Madrid six-yard box to the panicked consternation of all in grey.
It might not be the most memorable thing about the opening goal, but it is worth noting it came from Alaba fouling Saka in something close to desperation. Even the foul-drawing run from Saka felt like he was waiting for the ideal moment to draw that foul to give Rice the best chance of unveiling his secret weapon.
But this was no two-man show either. Arsenal had heroes all over the pitch. David Raya did everything required of him with calm assurance. The only suitable praise for Jakub Kiwior’s performance at centre-back against the might of Real Madrid’s formidable attack was to say that Gabriel Magalhaes really wasn’t missed.
Myles Lewis-Skelly continued his ludicrous rise with a performance of other-worldly assurance both going forward and back, and Gabriel Martinelli produced one of his best performances of recent times to ensure that despite the understandable preference for attacking down Saka’s flank Arsenal never risked total predictability.
And then there’s Mikel Merino, the makeshift centre-forward who keeps scoring goals. And on any other night his effort would’ve been a standout, a devilishly difficult finish from a pass that forced him to just alter his stride and step away from goal. The TV replay from behind the goal was especially good here, showing Merino struck his shot just as sweetly as Rice’s set-pieces.
If there’s been a better worst goal in a 3-0 win ever before, we’d be delighted to see it.
While Arsenal’s heroes will receive and deserve heaps of praise on a night that confirmed the Premier League’s fifth spot in next season’s competition, there are always two sides to the story. Real Madrid were honking. Sure, part of that is down to how good Arsenal were – especially in the second half when even the occasional defensive cracks that opened up in the first period were sealed – but you’re entitled to expect better of this club on this stage. Lord knows they have form.
But there was just no structure or clear gameplan to this Madrid performance. This looked like something from the worst of the Galactico days; don’t worry about tactics, let the big boys sort it out.
When Real Madrid are playing well, their willingness to play long and quick and direct to their livewire attacking quartet looks inspired. On nights like these it looks one-dimensional, panicky and predictable.
After a couple of early alarms, Arsenal got the hang of the night’s rhythm and kept Madrid at bay with something approaching ease.
Of course the second leg might look very different. It would not be the first time a lead of this nature was overturned in a second leg, and Real Madrid retain the firepower to do so.
But they are going to need something wildly different from themselves but also from Arsenal to have any chance of pulling this one out of the fire.
And they’d be well advised not to concede any free-kicks within 30 yards of their goal, either.
