Double Dutch nonsense as Ten Hag loses AGAIN and Van Dijk ‘breaks silence’

Erik ten Hag lost AGAIN so that should be the end of him at Manchester United, while Virgil van Dijk has ‘broken silence’.

Farewell Erik…
Just when Erik ten Hag thought things could not possibly get any worse, with the Manchester United sack surely looming (probably on December 14), he went back to the Netherlands to help out one of his old players and coach a team of ex-Utrecht players in a testimonial match.

He probably thought it would be a nice break from all the pressure mounting in England; he probably thought it would be a lovely day out; he probably thought he could honour the stellar Utrecht career of Mark van der Maarel in an apt way.

But…

‘Erik ten Hag suffers defeat AGAIN as Manchester United boss takes charge of former club for testimonial match, one week after brutal loss to rivals Liverpool’ – MailOnline.

‘Erik ten Hag loses AGAIN in new role as head of Dutch giants after Man Utd’s horror start to Premier League season’ – The Sun.

‘Erik ten Hag suffers yet another defeat after making return to former club’ – Mirror.

‘Man Utd boss Erik ten Hag sees losing streak continue after taking charge of former club in testimonial match’ – Goal.

‘Manchester United boss Erik ten Hag can’t catch a break as he loses match during international break’ – talkSPORT.

The Sun even claim that ‘the defeat adds to a challenging period for Ten Hag, who has been under scrutiny following United’s recent performances’.

Yes, we imagine he is absolutely distraught that a team of former professionals somehow lost to a team of current professionals during a 60-minute match played to honour a club legend.

Manchester United have no more excuses; they must sack him now.

Rage against the Man Utd machine
It might be international fortnight, but nothing can stop the Manchester United content gravy machine.

Man Utd news LIVE: Bruno Fernandes rages as Erik Ten Hag signing called out

That’s the Express, gleefully hoarding all of the clicks for the absolutely related news that Bruno Fernandes ‘raged at Aston Villa star John McGinn during Portugal’s victory over Scotland’ as Anders Lindegard was saying: “Onana has come back from a difficult start and now he is doing a lot better.”

And it’s LIVE.

Finally, we hear from Van Dijk
Virgil van Dijk played his first game for the Netherlands since the Euro 2024 semi-final defeat to England on Saturday and he was inevitably asked whether – at 33 – he had considered international retirement.

His answers were very honest and – crucially – were absolutely nothing to do with Liverpool.

The closest he came to even mentioning Liverpool was when he said: “At both teams I am still Virgil van Dijk, the big leader! And I certainly want to remain that for the next two years. I am human, I have emotions too. You start thinking all kinds of things. Especially just after a game like the elimination (by England) in the very last minute.”

And that really was all he wrote said that could even vaguely be about Liverpool, so he might have been surprised to find that, actually…

Virgil van Dijk breaks silence on Liverpool future and makes contract vow

Really, Daily Star? Really?

Clearly the ‘two years’ reference was about still playing for the Netherlands at the 2026 World Cup. It definitely wasn’t any kind of ‘contract vow’. And actually, can you make a ‘contract vow’ when Van Dijk said less than a month ago that there was no contract offer?

And it’s not just the Daily Star; this sh*t is absolutely everywhere…

‘Virgil van Dijk makes Liverpool contract vow after turning down Saudi Arabia riches’ – Mirror.

Do we know he had an offer of ‘Saudi Arabia riches’? How could he turn it down unless Liverpool accepted a bid? It’s all absolute bollocks. As is…

‘Liverpool get big Virgil van Dijk contract update as captain breaks silence on Saudi links’ – Express.

You already know he said even less about the Saudi links than he did about Liverpool, and it really does take some mental gymnastics to suggest that he ‘broke his silence’ on the subject.

‘The 33-year-old has now emphatically stated his ambition to captain Holland into the next World Cup while pledging his allegiance to Liverpool under the guidance of new manager Slot.’

While never mentioning either Liverpool or Slot, which is some kind of neat trick. But what about this silence-breaking on Saudi links? When do we see that?

Ah, here we go…

‘Netherlands boss Ronald Koeman axed Steven Bergwijn from his most recent squad after the former Tottenham man headed to the Saudi Pro League, with Van Dijk effectively turning down interest from the Middle East by confirming his plans to continue at the heart of defence for his national team.’

He really has ‘broken his silence’ on those Saudi links by *checks notes* saying he wants to remain as a key player for the Netherlands beyond Euro 2024, which he carelessly gave away by playing for the Netherlands beyond Euro 2024.

Turbulence
England are playing this week and Sami Mokbel of the Daily Mail is here with the latest on Lee Carsley:

England interim head coach Lee Carsley insists he has the FA’s full support following a turbulent start to his audition for the permanent position.

The 50-year-old’s first game in charge of England ended with a 2-0 win over Republic of Ireland in Dublin, but the occasion was overshadowed by the furore surrounding Carsley’s decision not to sing the national anthem.

It was only a ‘turbulent start’ because right-wing media like yours lost their tiny f***ing minds, Sami.