Eddie Howe ‘rubs salt’, Mikel Arteta ‘blunt’ as BAN is mooted

Editor F365
Eddie Howe and Mikel Arteta
Eddie Howe and Mikel Arteta

Arsenal lost to Newcastle United but that’s not interesting enough; we have to pretend Eddie Howe has landed a sick burn.

 

Howe could he say such a thing?
Arsenal losing to Newcastle United was in itself very, very interesting and – to some – very, very funny.

But football is rubbish unless you pretend there’s beef, ‘digs’ (subtle or otherwise), aggro, right? Or at least that’s what some sections of the media believe. We have to pretend that not only have Newcastle beaten Arsenal but that Eddie Howe and Mikel Arteta have indulged in some sort of war of words or – and this is the real ticket – mind games.

Which is how we find ourselves here…

Eddie Howe rubs salt into Arsenal’s wounds with telling admission after Newcastle win

So not only have Arsenal been left reeling by Newcastle ON the pitch, but Howe (according to the Mirror) has kicked them when they’re down.

Arsenal’s players were presumably pretty bruised by a comprehensive defeat, so imagine how they felt when they heard Howe – never knowingly interesting – hit them with this:

“It was a great night for us. It was a tough game but tactically we were good. The intention was to be aggressive and sometimes when you do that it doesn’t always work. Today it did. I thought it helped to solidify our plan. We had to retreat at times but we were always in the game.

“The work [on the game plan] started on Monday, which is quick.”

Two words: Sick burn.

That quote, which detailed that Newcastle began to work on their tactics on Monday, was actually – if you believe MailOnline – a bona fide revelation.

‘Eddie Howe reveals Newcastle only had TWO DAYS to work on the new system that downed Arsenal and sealed Carabao Cup final spot’

You know it’s a short amount of time because it’s in CAPITALS.

But do you know what might have worked a little better? If somebody could actually, you know, count/read. Because this is what Eddie Howe said:

“We had three training sessions. We trained this morning. Those three sessions allowed us to repeat and the players have to execute.”

By any measure at all, that’s THREE DAYS.

 

Blunt object
And while Eddie Howe was issuing sick burns, his opposite number was issuing ‘blunt verdicts’, described thus to rile Newcastle fans.

‘Mikel Arteta issues blunt five-word verdict on Newcastle United after Arsenal Carabao Cup exit’ – Shields Gazette.

Sounds bitter. Let’s hear it…

“Yes, it’s a tough opponent.”

Twat.

 

Ban of gold

You might think that’s a pretty harmless tweet; he said the same after Arsenal’s emphatic win over Crystal Palace in December.

But using the word ‘ban’ has made this a big old news story…

‘Jamie Carragher calls for ban as Arsenal dumped out of Carabao Cup by Newcastle’ – Express.

And yes, you really are supposed to think that Newcastle should be thrown out of the Carabao Cup.

‘”Need to be banned” – Jamie Carragher lashes out at Arsenal star for what he did against Newcastle’ – CaughtOffside

‘Lashes out’? Really? It was a 12-word tweet without a single adjective (unless you are counting demonstrative adjectives, and we’re not).

‘Jamie Carragher calls for Arsenal star to be BANNED after Newcastle incident’ – Mirror.

Yes, that’s BANNED. And it’s pointless saying that he did nothing of the sort – there’s clearly a difference between calling for a player to be BANNED and suggesting they should be banned from doing something – because we have already clicked.

We should call for a ban/BAN on our own stubborn stupidity.

 

Most read? Most depressing more like…

So that’s three stories about Kyle Walker’s marriage, one reference to Pep’s relationship, and one ex-footballer disputing claims of an OnlyFans star.

We remember when Goal was a football website.

 

Quad nonsense
We saw that rotten list because we were drawn in by Goal‘s piece about why Arne Slot’s team are well-placed for the Quadruple.

‘It feels like every February, Liverpool find themselves in the crossfires of ‘quadruple’ talk. Long gone are the days of the Reds overlooking domestic cup competitions – now they are a team who want it all.

‘Jurgen Klopp laid the foundation for a whole new wave of success even after his exit. Arne Slot has done such a spectacular job so far that eyebrows will be raised off faces if his men fall short in any competition.’

Pesky fact: They are 50/1 to win the quadruple. Eyebrows will be on the f***ing roof if they pull it off.

Mediawatch Eddie Howe

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