England women are already villains for following men through ‘hidden exit’

England’s women did not get off a 22-hour flight and go straight through the usual arrivals hall. The complete cow-bags.

Plane stupid
Obviously, England’s women have been brave heroes for a few days now, so it’s definitely time for the villain story.

Here’s the biggest story in football on Tuesday morning, according to The Sun:

HEROES’ NO SHOW England fans get up at crack of dawn to welcome Lionesses at airport but heroes are taken through hidden exit

Sorry but if you are daft enough to get up at the crack of dawn and pay a fortune in parking charges because you think that the England team come through the standard arrivals hall at Heathrow then you are a complete muppet.

But Sarina Wiegman’s side are understood to have departed Heathrow from a hidden exit, meaning that fans did not get to see their favourite stars.

An FA spokesperson stressed that the Lionesses followed the “normal protocol” also adhered to by the England men’s team – and that it would have been the same even if they had won the World Cup.

A ‘hidden exit’ is a very dramatic way of saying that the actual World Cup finalists did not come through the public arrivals hall at Terminal 3.

But thank you to The Sun for giving us this delicious line…

Loyal supporters only got to see their heroes’ luggage, which was swiftly loaded onto a van.

So that’s something.

The Mirror have jumped on the same bandwagon…

Lionesses disappoint waiting fans as England heroes return home after World Cup heartbreak

The Mirror detail how ‘around 40 waiting fans, including young children, left disappointed as the players left the airport without greeting them’.

Listen, if you are taking your young children to Heathrow in the middle of the night then the only person disappointing those young children is you.

Former England defender Alex Scott walking through arrivals was enough to raise hopes that the squad would soon follow but to no avail. Only the team’s luggage made it through the airport.

It’s not known who made the decision for the players not to travel through arrivals as normal.

‘As normal’ for who? Not an England team after a 22-hour flight following an ultimately disappointing major tournament, that’s for sure.

Scrambled begs
Obviously there’s gold in them there Mason Greenwood hills and The Sun are more than happy to mine that gold, telling us that ‘Mason Greenwood eyed up by Turkish club just hours after he’s dumped in explosive Man Utd statement’. All good – we have the story ourselves – but what is this absolute bumwash?

MASON Greenwood is being eyed up by a Turkish club who beat Manchester United – just hours after he was dumped in an explosive statement.

United are facing a mad scramble to get rid of Mason Greenwood in just ten days or face losing millions.

Mediawatch is not aware of a rule that footballers accused of rape by the end of August 31 or ‘lose millions’ but we are aware that the Turkish transfer window closes on September 15, which does suggest that any kind of ‘mad scramble’ would be a complete waste of energy.

That ‘mad scramble’ sentence comes with a link that takes us to this story…

Mason Greenwood ‘must leave club in 10 days or Man Utd face being stuck with him and lose millions’

You will be unsurprised to know that The Sun are only quoting themselves in those quote marks, because no f***er else is espousing this theory that Manchester United will lose millions if Greenwood is not gone by the end of next week.

Greenwood’s future has not been revealed but Utd have ten days to sell him or get him out on loan before the transfer window closes.

If they don’t make the 11pm cut-off on September 1, Utd face paying the England star millions to cut his contract.

That is one hell of a leap. In reality, Utd face either a) selling him or loaning him to a club outside of the major European leagues or b) continuing to pay him until January, as they have previously done. Why the hell would they now pay him millions to cut his contract?

They could only go beyond the deadline if Greenwood is picked up by a Saudi club as their window closes on September 20.

The striker could also follow his ex-teammate Fred to Turkey to make it in time for their September 15 cut-off point.

So ‘they could only go beyond the deadline’ if they sell him to a club in the two countries most strongly linked with a transfer. It sounds less like Mason Greenwood ‘must leave club in 10 days’ and more like Manchester United have actually got almost a month (which they almost certainly won’t need) to sell or loan him.

Another option would be mutually agreeing a fee to cancel the contract and allow Greenwood to leave even without a potential sale.

It’s an ‘option’ but it’s not an option Manchester United are likely to pursue because it would make zero sense. And an ‘option’ does not equate to a ‘mad scramble’, even when you have f***ed this up as much as United.