Hojlund tops ranking of Man Utd striker targets by how much they could overpay
Top-quality strikers look set to cost a fortune no matter who’s buying this summer, simply because there appears to be quite the dearth of them. But if you’re Manchester United they will likely cost even more thanks to the Antony tax they imposed on themselves 12 months ago.
They signed a £30m player for £81m and that decision has been screwing them ever since, with selling clubs looking at Antony’s four Premier League goals and two assists and quite reasonably suggesting whichever of their players United covet should cost a damn sight more than the Brazilian, or at least significantly more than their actual value.
We say actual value, we’ve lifted these from Transfermarkt so they’re more of a guide, but anyway, we’ve ranked Manchester United’s striker targets by how much they could overpay for them, from least to most…
Harry Kane: +£23m
Value: £77m
Transfer fee: £100m
The latest reports suggest Harry Kane still wants to move to Manchester United, who are willing to pay £80m (someone’s been looking at Transfermarkt) for the man Erik ten Hag deems to be the ‘perfect’ striker for their system. How unfair then that Daniel Levy won’t let him leave for anything less than £100m.
Ollie Watkins: +£25m
Value: £35m
Transfer fee: £60m
We were expecting more frequent and sturdy transfer rumours about a proven Premier League striker who scored 12 top-flight goals in the second half of last season. United have been vaguely linked, but more as an afterthought in articles about shinier acquisitions who could easily prove to be nowhere near as effective as Watkins.
We’re also more than a little sceptical of him gaining just £2m in value after three Premier League seasons for Villa in which he’s got 43 goals, earning seven England caps in the process.
Victor Osimhen: +£26m
Value: £103m
Transfer fee: £129m
The best of the bunch if you ignore Harry Kane, as we’re all programmed to do, and thus all the big boys want him. None of those big boys have £129m knocking around though, except maybe Chelsea once they sell half of their squad to Saudi Arabia, with their soul included in the add-ons.
Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis is revelling in the speculation, steadily increasing the Nigerian’s price tag with each press conference he gives; most recently making up some bullsh*t about a two-year contract agreement that he would immediately throw in the bin if someone offered what they’re after.
Randal Kolo Muani: +£30m
Value: £56m
Transfer fee: £86m
The ‘hour of decision approaches’ according to L’Equipe, who also make the magnificent claim that Kolo Muani is getting ‘more and more expensive’ by the day while he presumably sits on a beach somewhere doing f*** all.
He deserves the break though after a brilliant season in which he claimed 23 goals and 17 assists for Eintracht Frankfurt and turned the World Cup final on its head.
Goncalo Ramos: +£37m
Value: £43m
Transfer fee: £80m
The guy who stole our hearts by scoring a hat-trick for Portugal as Cristiano Ronaldo’s replacement at the World Cup has got 19 league goals this season. For Benfica though, where Carlos Vinicius had a far better goals-per-minute ratio before moving to Tottenham.
Rasmus Hojlund: +£48m
Value: £38m
Transfer fee: £86m
He’s a striker, quite tall, Scandinavian and blonde, and so has drawn inevitably lazy comparisons to Erling Haaland, but he’s really not Erling Haaland.
In his first full season in one of the Big Five European leagues – also at the age of 20, like Hojlund – Haaland scored a goal every 89 minutes. Hojlund scored one every 203 minutes for Atalanta in 2022/23.
Clearly a talented boy, but a boy all the same, and not one who’s scored nearly enough goals to merit such a price tag, which Atalanta appear to have hilariously plucked out of thin air like Dr Evil attempting to blackmail the US government.
Can Rasmus Hojlund diverge from massive Man Utd parallels with Anthony Martial?
