Will Lampard survive latest rise of Roman Empire?

Sarah Winterburn
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Roman Abramovich cares enough to spend on Chelsea again. That could be bad news for Frank Lampard.

If money were no object, what would you do?

Buy a mansion? Buy a street of mansions? Buy a yacht? Buy a fleet of yachts? Become your country’s biggest philanthropist? Become Governor of the Russian province of Chukotka? Flick caviar blinis into Robbie Williams’ mouth like you’re playing a salty, sybaritic Subbuteo? Spend a world-record fee on a goalkeeper whose hands are softer and offer less resistance than a caviar blini?

‘Buy a football club’ is how many of us who read Football365 would answer that question. Seventeen years ago Roman Abramovich did just that, playing real-life Championship Manager at Chelsea with that cheat code which gives you an unlimited budget. Chelsea swapped Cole for Crespo, Grönkjaer for Drogba, Zenden for Essien, embarking on the most successful period in the club’s history, winning three league titles and seven domestic cups in the seven years that followed his takeover. Chelsea’s trophy cabinet has buckled and creaked ever since, propping up further domestic titles as well as three European trophies, most recently the Europa League in 2019.

Abramovich has continued to invest heavily in the squad throughout this period, with the exception of two ‘lean’ years between 2008-10 (where the annual transfer fee spend was (only) £27m each year) and 2018/19 which Chelsea spent sat on the transfer naughty step. Adjusting for inflation, after the initial 2003-2005 binge, the next highest annual transfer fee spend was 2017/18 (£235m at that time). If you’ve forgotten who Chelsea bought that year, Chelsea would gladly trade their nightmares for your amnesia – some of the exalted class of 2017/18 include Tiemoue Bakayoko (£36m), Danny Drinkwater (£34m) and Davide Zappacosta (£22.5m). That’s just over £90m. Or one Kai Havertz.

This summer’s business may well be Chelsea’s most significant since Abramovich’s yacht first moored on the Thames. Revelling on the yacht in the Thames marina is Abramovich’s very own Marina – Granovskaia, the ‘most powerful woman in football’. Marina and her diamonds enchanted Havertz, Hakim Ziyech and Timo Werner to the King’s Road and away from Old Trafford before Ed Woodward could down his pint, clear his throat and squeak “Can I have your number?”

Roman’s Roubles have spread beyond the dressing room, with one of Chelsea’s group companies reporting (based on the latest publicly available accounts) an increase in direct funding of £247m that has financed projects like the completion of Kingsmeadow Stadium (home of Chelsea FC Women). The redevelopment of Stamford Bridge remains in limbo, with no disclosable activity since planning permission was granted by Hammersmith and Fulham in 2017. This has coincided with the Government and Abramovich wrestling and wrangling over his visa, which has presumably gone down like a bowl of okroshka with Hammersmith and Fulham, who were due £22m from Chelsea under the Section 106 Agreement. Perhaps nobody told Abramovich that Stamford Bridge isn’t actually in Kensington and Chelsea. Perhaps Abramovich is just waiting for Hammersmith and Fulham councillors to formally annex Kensington and Chelsea and declare a Republic of West London.

Regardless, Abramovich’s latest splurge has significant implications, most notably for Frank Lampard. Lampard’s record provokes opinion, polarises opinion, and then taps you on the shoulder just in case you haven’t already given your polarising opinion. “I’m not saying he’s the Messiah, but did Jesus turn water into £400m?” “He’s not the Messiah, he’s just a very public-school boy.”

Never have so many opinions been given by so many on something so futile. In the end, there’s only one that matters. Lampard has completed his one-year internship at Abramovich’s School of Art and been gifted brand new brushes, easels and gold leaf-infused, COVID-19-antibody-carrying paint. Abramovich expects art; art that his friends can coo and purr and pore over, not an IKEA print with a few holes round the back of the frame that Lampard promises he will get around to fixing. Abramovich gave Lampard the silent treatment after finishing in the top four. Maybe that’s a sign of things to come? Maybe he just doesn’t care? Maybe he just forgot? All of the above? Either way, sentiment is to Abramovich what an ushanka hat is to subtlety. Just ask Jose, Carlo and Roberto. Chelsea face three of the Big Six in their first ten fixtures; you suspect that a poor return over these fixtures will see the spectre of someone like Max Allegri looming over Lampard, ready to paint that imitation Caravaggio that Roman so adores. There’s almost an inevitability to it all.

Spending (at least) £200m in transfer fees this summer coupled with revising their revenue forecast downwards (due to the expected sustained absence of gate receipts) should also dampen any speculation over an imminent sale of Chelsea, following last year’s reports of failed bids from US financiers; the disagreement over the club’s valuation is likely be even more pronounced now. So it would seem Roman is here to stay, albeit not in the physical sense as he is yet to attend a home game in over two years – he was social distancing before it became mainstream.

In cherry-picking some of the most coveted players in Europe, Chelsea – and, by extension, the Premier League – are also re-asserting their dominance across Europe. The Premier League’s billionaire boys club are, collectively, much brasher and, simply, much richer, than their continental counterparts, ready to extend their reach over the transfer market to the European competitions following a fallow year last season. Abramovich’s New Money in 2003 became Old Money when Sheik Mansour’s Maserati pulled up in 2008; is Abramovich New Money again? There’s just Big Money now. And in the Battle of Big Money (UK District), you have Mansour’s Magicians, Fenway’s Heavy Metal Thrashers and, returning after a brief sojourn, Roman’s Emperors, all young, tattooed and viral talent.

Abramovich’s summer spending spree looks set to continue, as does the debate over it. Less has been said about Abramovich’s spring. This included opening his hotel to NHS staff, as well as committing not to furlough or make redundant any Chelsea employees, all implemented before several other Big Six clubs could decide which flip-flops they were going to wear that particular week.

Ultimately, whatever your opinion of him, Abramovich’s influence on English football is as significant now as it ever has been, his interest and appetite piqued once again. The Roman Empire has fresh recruits; it won’t be falling any time soon.

Jimmy Young – follow him on Twitter (he’s new)

 

F365 Says Frank Lampard

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