Goals, red cards and the final, definite end of the relegation battle – it’s the F365 3pm Blackout

A small but highly entertaining Saturday afternoon Premier League programme, but alas one that for all its undeniable charms leaves the league itself in an even more moribund state than it already was.

Crystal Palace 2-1 Brighton: Three goals, three reds as Palace secure A23 Derby double
The bragging rights from the Premier League’s oddest derby end firmly with Palace as they secure a league double over Brighton for the first time in 100-odd years.

The combination of the words ‘derby’ and ‘three red cards’ would indicate a furious encounter but that isn’t really how this one felt. Hats off to Eddie Nketiah for managing to get subbed on and booked twice in the space of barely 10 minutes but he – like Marc Guehi – will wonder quite whether their assorted offences really merited the punishment meted out.

There certainly didn’t seem to be much evidence of that supposed higher tariff for second yellows, while Jan Paul van Hecke joined in the let’s get booked twice fun and games deep into the copious amounts of injury time all that previous nonsense had generated.

Palace held on for the win, though, with the in-form Ebere Eze adding a couple of assists to his collection and Jean-Philippe Mateta scoring a crowd-pleasing early opener to get Operation: 50 Points firmly back on track after a careless midweek slip at home to Southampton of all teams.

For Brighton, though, a season now once again in grave danger of petering out. Five straight league wins with an FA Cup win at Newcastle thrown in had all things looking possible before the international break. Now none of those things look particularly possible with the Seagulls returning to action by getting knocked out of the cup and losing back-to-back league games to leave them playing catch-up in that congested squabble for European places. A shame.

Ipswich 1-2 Wolves: Relegation fight flickers briefly back to life before being extinguished again
For around an hour at Portman Road, it suddenly looked possible. From Liam Delap’s latest transfer-fee-enhancer until Pablo Sarabia’s goal-and-assist contribution from the Wolves bench, the gap between 17th and 18th was suddenly down to an undeniably interesting six points.

Sarabia put paid to that, and with a scarcely believable 12 points now separating safety from doom, there is no way back. Ipswich remain undoubtedly the least embarrassing member of the worst bottom three in Premier League history, and we hope they can at least make sure the league table reflects that when the dust settles at the end of May.

But any outside chance of actual survival is now gone, and while the late nature of Wolves’ comeback obviously stings, there is, in truth no great hard-luck story. There are various strategies with which to set about defending a 1-0 lead, but ‘allowing the opposition 22 attempts on goal and hoping for the best’ has rarely been considered among the higher percentage of those options.

West Ham 2-2 Bournemouth: Second half bursts to life as Bournemouth held again in the capital
Not the most absurd 2-2 draw Bournemouth have suffered in London over recent weeks, but another frustrating one in a game they led and were dominating by half-time against a beach-adjacent West Ham side.

The second half was far better from the Hammers, it must be said, with Evanilson forced to find his second of the afternoon to salvage even a point from a game going only one way for the first 45 minutes.

And while this pair of vaguely daft 2-2 draws in London have been varying shades of irritating for the Cherries, there’s also a beggars can’t be choosers element at play here; those are the only two points Bournemouth have managed in six games since beating Southampton 3-1 in the middle of February when seemingly Champions League-bound.

They remain a maddening side, capable of football few outside the gilded elite can match yet at their worst right down there with the doomed trio.

READ NEXT: Arteta must repeat cut-throat Arsenal decisions with £168m trio ideal to boost 25/26 title hopes