Harry Kane is a sh*thouse and a cheat and should be embarrassed for Doucoure antics

Harry Kane is coming under fire for his behaviour during Monday night’s 1-1 clash with Everton. We also have mails on Chelsea, managers, Newcastle and lots more.

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Harry Kane is England’s biggest sh*thouse
City fan here. As a neutral, I haven’t had any particularly firm views about Harry Kane one way or another, except to disapprove of his ‘backing into players foul’ that he’s done so many times that, it seems to me, the finest legal minds in the country would struggle to prove it was anything other than deliberate.

After last night? Gone right off him now.

I’m not arguing in Doucoure’s favour. Raise your hand to another players face and you are off. That’s it and no arguing. But Kane’s reaction?

It wasn’t embarrassing, it was cringeworthy. Pathetic. I’m no doctor but I’m fairly sure that neither Kane’s nose, cheekbone, eye sockets or jaw were broken whilst Doucoure launched his drug-induced axe attack on Kane’s head.

And for those that would suggest that if he’d done the same for England in a WC against, I don’t know, Brazil or Argentina for example, then I wouldn’t be so irate? I can assure you I f*cking well would.

My team are experts in the ‘professional foul’ but not to the extent where the aim is to get somebody red-carded.

Such behaviour smacks of desperation as perhaps it should from a team that has won b*gger all for decades.

So glad we didn’t make a serious attempt to sign Kane and I really hope that, if he doesn’t apologise for that embarrassment last night (Oh, and let’s not forget he kicked an Everton player seconds before Doucore ‘slaps’ him) he never wins a domestic trophy for what is left of his career.

Sh*thouse. England’s biggest.
Mark (I asked who’d be first in Sunday’s mailbox, but I didn’t think it would be both on the same day!) MCFC

…The rules of football are completely broken. It’s not necessarily a new thing, it’s been the case for a long time. But last night confirmed it to me.

Doucoure pushes Kane in the face. Pretty lightly. Is that OK? No. Is it cheating? Was it dangerous? Could anyone have been hurt? No. Yet it’s a straight red card. And pretty much everyone accepts it. We’re so conditioned to the rules of football as they are, we never stop to consider what they should be.

Harry Kane on the other hand, shame on you. Harry Kane cheated last night. There is no other word for it. Harry Kane is a professional athlete. He has made it to the top of the most widely played sport in the world. To get that far, you presumably need to be pretty tough. Yet a tickle in the face caused him to fall to the floor in ‘agony’ and roll around. If anyone believes that was a genuine, not exaggerated reaction, then you’ve been conned. He cheated, plain and simple.

In a just world, Harry Kane gets a five-match ban for cheating. Doucoure gets a yellow card. But football has bizarrely twisted itself into a position where just placing your hands on someone’s face is a heinous crime, yet deliberately trying to con the referee is acceptable.

It’s not the only situation where the rules of football just don’t make sense. Take a professional foul. We have the situation in football where it’s perfectly acceptable to deliberately foul someone during a counter attack. Commentators will even say “Well he had to do that, you have to take a yellow card there.” Again, this is cheating. Deliberately breaking the rules to gain an advantage is cheating. Yet there is almost no consequence. A pretty meaningless yellow card.

On the other hand, up the other end of the pitch, if the ball happens to graze your hand when slightly away from your body, it’s a penalty. Doesn’t matter if it was going to lead to a goal, or if the ball is even moving towards goal. Ball touches hand = penalty.

The rules of football have been rewritten multiple times. There have been opportunities to tackle this. Deliberate fouls, diving and feigning injury have made the game worse. Yet almost nothing has been done. Yet we’ve brought in VAR to analyse in minute detail how far away a player’s hand is from his body. So we continue to focus on nonsense, and cheats like Harry Kane get to prosper.
Mike, LFC, London

Sodding Spurs
I’m not sure which annoyed me more, Spurs being dominated by 10 men Everton, the introduction of Davinson Sanchez when trying to win a game of football, or one of the commentators constantly referring to us as Tottenham HotSPURS.

It’s clearly the former. But still. Twat.
Jon

Levy really can f*** off
Going to have to wholeheartedly disagree on your comments on Spurs not needing new owners in your Kane article.

Spurs are now very much ‘the Harry Kane team’ now and the prospect of next season with Son/Richarlison/Kulusevski is beyond worrying. Son has entirely lost his confidence, Richarlison never had any, and Kulu has come back from injury having lost a yard of pace and can’t quite work out what to do with the ball anymore. Kane is going to be 30 soon and United would still be a risk for him. But I digress.

Levy has over seen every bad decision, sacked manager, player sent on loan, and failure for over 20 years. The unasked for stadium a constant drain on finances and as yet still unsponsored after almost 4 years. The likes of Sky will simplistically point to numbers to evidence backing of past managers. This simply isn’t true. Levy has final say, and frequently gets it wrong.

Conte was given a lot of players, a few he wanted, many he didn’t. Why else would Spurs waste 50m on a substitute? Spence et al sent on loan and prospects for Levy to later turn a profit on, not improvements to the first team. The many failed signings on loan will return this summer, Ndombele still happily trousering 200 grand every 7 days and going to do so for another 2 years.

Ownership shouldn’t be something the fan is even aware of; unfortunately when it’s done badly it’s painfully obvious when poor decisions are made and the impact of has on the club and those around it. I expect the atmosphere on Saturday to be toxic as Spurs inevitably play eye bleedingly bad football and slip to a loss against a well organized Brighton.

The game is about glory. And if you don’t get any, at least make it fun, yeah?
Andy Mac, Vancouver Spur

Narrative corner
After 29 matches in 2022-23, Tottenham are in 4th on 50 points and a +12 goal difference with Champions League qualification not quite in their control but not a million miles out of it either. After 29 matches in 2021-22, Tottenham were in 5th on 51 points and a +12 goal difference with Champions League qualification not quite in their control but not a million miles out of it either.

After 27 matches in 2022-23, Man United are in 5th on 50 points and a +4 goal difference with Champions League qualification not quite in their control but not a million miles out of it either. After 27 matches in 2021-22, Man United were in 6th on 47 points and a +10 goal difference with Champions League qualification not quite in their control but not a million miles out of it either.

Narrative really is something, isn’t it?
Tim

Is that what makes Chelsea special?
After reading Aravind’s description of what makes Chelsea a supposed special club, I don’t think I’ve ever been more glad I don’t support them. This is despite their ‘history’ of success.
James, Kent

The managerial merry-go-round
In the last week, three positions have opened up in the Prem and I’ve come up with what I think are the best fits.

Chelsea, Diego Simeone – As the rest of the league can agree, Chelsea are arseholes (in the Captain America sense but also in a literal sense). They need to embrace this role as trying to be the nice guy looking for a long-term manager failed so dramatically, so bring on the defensive football, the conspiratorial press conferences and the inevitable fireworks when it fails after two seasons, likely with an extra Prem or Champions League title to show for it.

Tottenham, Ruben Amorim – Tottenham need to go back to being a progressive and upwardly mobile club, after making deals with the devil (Mourinho and Conte) and still ending up in purgatory. Admittedly, Lisbon are not having the greatest time of it in the league this year, but he won their first league in 19 years in 2021 and appears tactically astute manager. Also, he did just knock out Arsenal in the Europa League.

Leicester, Steve Cooper – Some people might suggest Graham Potter, but that seems desperate on both parts. I suggest they go full Machiavellian and poach Steve Cooper from Nottingham Forest, as he never seems more than two bad results away from the sack. He’s proven himself as a decent manager and I think they may both benefit from stability, as well as weakening a relegation-threatened club. Release fee may be an issue.
Darns (Nottingham Forest should then hire Ralph Hasenhuttl), Marrakech

New manager bounce only exists at Villa
Now that the majority of clubs have changed manager, with some doing well and some doing not so well; can we conclude the ‘new manager bounce’ isn’t a thing? I’ll even speculate that (at least) one club that has changed manager and one club that hasn’t changed manager won’t achieve their aims this season. Bold, I know.

On Potter; I don’t understand Chelsea backing him for so long and letting him go now. It seemed clear they’d finish somewhere between 7th and 11th ,(and still will) – the loss to Villa didn’t change that. I do understand them letting him go generally though. Perhaps it was the Chelsea board seeing their team losing to a side reignited and reimagined under Emery that was the final straw? As I’ve said before, I’m genuinely excited about where Villa are headed. We could even be 6th by about 10pm on Tuesday. That would be utterly ridiculous given where we were under Gerrard. UTV!
Gary, AVFC

Proves how good Pep is…
Just a thought for the ‘I could win the league with that squad’ back seat managers. As Potter has found out it’s not easy managing a set of highly talented and well-paid players and it takes someone very special to keep the squad happy, motivated, disciplined and ultimately performing on the pitch. Someone like Pep Guardiola.

And for the ‘could Pep do it as a lower league side’ back seat managers, look at what Kompany is doing at lower league Burnley. A team transformed playing Pep’s brand of press and possession, who are running away with the league now. Do you really think that Guardiola couldn’t do the same?

I really wish these tired, contrary arguments can be put to bed, and instead recognise that we have one of the very best managers ever, managing in the Premier League right now.
Andy D. Manchester. MCFC

Newcastle were amazing v Man Utd
Newcastle’s best performance of the season, and given the nature of the opposition, the importance of the match for the top 4, and the performance, it’s one of Newcastle’s best games for a decade. All over Man United from the first five minutes – 21 shots tells a story, as does an xG of 4.04-0.41 (apparently even more lopsided than Liverpool’s big win against them).

Willock could have had a hat-trick, and with an England midfield role very much up for grabs before the next Euros I do wonder when Gareth will look at someone young and improving who’s played almost every game for the team in third.

Once again the statement signings Trippier, Botman and Bruno were immense, and Isak played well without the goal he deserved. But again the unheralded pre-takeover players or cheaper signings made a huge contribution – Sean Longstaff, Jacob Murphy and Dan Burn have each played in every single league game this season. Fingers crossed the players can get some rest and go again on the two trips to London this week.

Looking at your net spend article today – Newcastle have of course spent a bunch by any other standard, but of the 8 clubs who’ve net-spent more than £250m in the 5 years, I think 6 of the other 7 would take the improvement Newcastle have managed with it. West Ham and Wolves are in a relegation scrap, Villa in mid table (fair dos to Emery though), Man U and Spurs have spent a combined billion pounds to stay in and around the top 4 for five years with no serious title challenges, and Chelsea have spent far more than anyone to go backwards.

After the Carabao final there was some chat in the media, including from F365, about how Howe could have taken Newcastle as far as he could, that a Wembley day out might be the high point. I disagree – if he’s done this in 16 months and a few transfer windows, imagine how far he’ll take us when he gets allowed to start outspending West Ham…
Roger (Newcastle in London)

Let’s talk gravity
There was a moment late on in the match against Leeds, when Saka who came off the bench, received the ball on the right wing. Within seconds, four Leeds players were closing down the space. It got me thinking about an idea I’ve had about football, and that is that certain footballers have a greater ‘gravity’ than others. Not as a centre to their balance, but in how they warp the pitch and players on it. Not since Alexis Sanchez, have Arsenal had a player who truly draws opponents to them, to occupy more than one of the opposition. It is an incredible skill to have, and it is great for as it inevitably opens up space for our other attackers.

So we don’t get into partisan bickering about who has the greatest football gravity, I think the following players are ones who I think had a football gravity that benefited their teams.

Eden Hazard
Ronaldo (CR)
Arjen Robben
Harry Kane
Alexis Sanchez
Wayne Rooney
Didier Drogba
Michael Owen

You’ll notice Thierry Henry isn’t mentioned, but I don’t think he had football gravity, I think he was a supernova, he just blew everyone away. Who, in your club’s history, had the strongest gravity?
John Matrix AFC

Is money ruining the Premier League?
Am I the only one that thinks Money via TV rights, Sponsors etc within the Premier League is actually making it a worse league in terms of quality?

I just find it staggering how some players are bought for the amounts they are (E.g. Richarlison for £50 million, Sancho for £75 Million, Pogba for £90 Million, Pepe for £72 million), sadly the list goes on! Honestly If I were a manager, I would rather manage in Italy, Spain or Germany because my job would be more secure, there would be less owner & player power thus less pressure, and the weather would probably be nicer too!

What ever happened to good old scouting and picking up youngsters from Europe/South America and developing them into top players?

For example, United signed Vidic and Evra for a combined amount of £12 million and became the best foreign defenders for United probably ever, along with Jaap Stam. Signing Rafael & Fabio from Brazil is another very good example, as well as Ole from Molde for £1.5 million. Arsenal signing Kolo Toure for £150K, Ashley Cole coming through the youth team and also signing Lauren for £7 million. Liverpool & Chelsea as well between the years 2000-2005, Liverpool signed Alonso for £10 million in 2004, where as Chelsea bought Cech for £7 million & Arjen Robben for £12 million.

Not only did these players win trophies and were incredibly successful in there time, but did so for a LONG time. Some of these players mentioned were there for 10+ years and remained first team choices.

I realise that Inflation has obviously picked up and the impact of agents as well since 2004 given this was 19 years ago, but I think because of ridiculous amount of money being poured into the Premier League, its causing for terrible decisions to be made from what players are signed and i’ts like football clubs see a rumour pop up a few times in the media now and think ‘Oh that seems like a good idea’.

If I were a manager in the Premier League now, I would be bloody terrified of losing my job rather than being excited about it. A lot of managers don’t seem to have a say in which players they want to sign as well, which is just absolutely ridiculous, some owners really are ruining the league in that sense.

United are probably the worst example of this. Re-signing Pogba for £90 million proved to be a disaster, and also signed Maguire for a similar amount and doesn’t even play now. Sancho isn’t doing himself justice currently as well, he could easily get sold in the summer or put on the transfer list.

Having seen Rodgers & Potter both sacked yesterday, as well as Vieira a few weeks ago, it just makes you think that some owners have absolutely no idea what they are doing and are playing a guessing game!

Potter was out of his depth in the first place to be fair, but sacking Tuchel so early on was a somewhat suicidal decision and with Potter now gone and have received god knows how much compensation money (He should now just buy an island close to Madeira and call it quits for a year or so and relax). What top manager would want that Chelsea job now? Todd Boehly is a disgrace of an owner and thinks its real life Football Manager and has turned Chelsea back into a midtable team despite somehow spending nearly £700 million on new players.

Look at Arsenal’s owners over the years too, they didn’t care about the club and cared more about NFL, but Arteta has somehow transformed the culture of the club again into a team that is competitive and due to being at City beforehand, has picked out some very good players in Jesus & Zinchencko who have won a few titles, but are both still quite young.

Makes me think whoever comes in for United now as a potential new owner (If the Glazers ever sell the club), could easily ruin what Ten Hag is trying to build at the club, but I for one think the appeal of the Premier League has downsized a lot in the last 7-8 years, it was at its peak between 2003-2016. Ever since Leicester won the league, it’s been one of the most overrated leagues ever, I honestly find Serie A & La Liga football just as good to watch.
Rami, Manchester