Harry Kane surprised by competence of Man Utd in non-existent transfer talks

Editor F365
Man Utd target Kane

Harry Kane expected Manchester United to overpay for him like they did Harry Maguire, it seems. In other news, he’s not a terrible footballer.


Harry Kane: Not rubbish shock
Harry Kane has never won a damned thing. You might have heard. But the Telegraph‘s Sam Wallace has an entirely new take on this phenomenon:

Harry Kane’s trophy curse is a compelling football tale but no reflection of his talent

Oh. And there we were thinking that Harry Kane has not won anything because he is absolutely sh*te. Thanks Sam Wallace.

He does actually make some fine points about how Kane hamstrung himself with the contract he signed with Tottenham in 2018, writing:

The six-year contract that Kane signed, aged 24, at Spurs before the World Cup finals in the summer of 2018 made the player a very wealthy young man and handed the club all the power.

Which is odd because Mediawatch is old enough to remember (and competent enough to Google) when Wallace wrote in the summer of 2021 that Kane’s desire to leave Tottenham ‘leaves Daniel Levy exposed’.

Wallace then described Levy as ‘vulnerable’ and sniffily wrote that ‘there will be those who roll their eyes and tell you that Levy will not be forced to do anything’. We did roll our eyes. We did say that Levy will not be forced to do anything. And it turns out that Levy could not be forced to do anything.

Three years later, Wallace admits that Tottenham were actually handed ‘all the power’ and writes that ‘what remains is the lesson of how ruthless leading players must be in the brief flourishing they have at the elite level’.

‘Ruthless’? What an odd choice of word. Had Kane turned down a long-term contract with massive wages at a club he loved who at the time were really good, would we really have called him ‘ruthless’? Or a bit daft?


Great expectations
With Harry Kane trending, it’s time to roll out some absolute nonsense about Harry Kane. And if you want nonsense, you should look no further than the Express:

Man Utd did something Harry Kane didn’t expect in transfer talks before Bayern disaster

First things first, there were no ‘transfer talks’, which feels pretty important if you’re going to claim that Man Utd ‘did something Harry Kane didn’t expect in transfer talks’.

As The Athletic told us in September: ‘Despite all the anticipation over Kane in April and May, there were never any real talks between people at United and Tottenham, or with the player’s representatives, led by his brother Charlie.’

Basically, Manchester United decided that spending over £100m on a 30-year-old who wanted £500,000 a week in wages was not sensible. So the deal was over way before it began.

But let’s not allow that to get in the way of attempts to get ‘Man Utd’ and ‘Harry Kane’ into the same headline just after Kane has failed to win the Champions League…

Manchester United entered the 2023 summer transfer window with Harry Kane as Erik ten Hag’s priority transfer target in search of building on a successful first season. The stars aligned as he entered the final 12 months of his Tottenham Hotspur contract, and a move to Old Trafford looked on the cards.


So how did United somehow surprise Kane in these imaginary ‘transfer talks’?

In recent years, the £80m deal for Harry Maguire, £86m for Antony and £70m for Casemiro helped form the club’s previous regime’s reputation for mediocre negotiation skills.

You couldn’t blame Kane – who was reportedly open to joining – for expecting United to do the same for him.

Mediawatch has read those two paragraphs several times now and yes, it does seem like Kane would have been ‘expecting’ Manchester United to showcase their ‘mediocre negotiation skills’ and spend a ludicrous sum on him. So the thing he didn’t expect was their competence. Have we got this right?

👉 Harry Kane is just not ‘trustworthy’ with ‘real stakes’; is it the Spurs curse?
👉 Tuchel explains Kane sub as Bayern boss reveals linesman apology after ‘disastrous’ call
👉 Kane’s incredible curse and star Ferguson ‘singled out’ among five greatest players who won sod all


No alarms and no surprises
But obviously the biggest story in football on the morning after an epic Champions League semi-final has prompted this bombastic headline from The Sun:


F***, this must be bad.

Laura Woods’ interview with Jude Bellingham goes viral thanks to awkward TNT Sports gaffe live on air

Handily this ‘awkward TNT Sports gaffe’ happened at a time when one of the most Googled women in England was on air alongside one of the most Googled footballers.

And TNT Sports really must be kicking themselves that their ‘awkward gaffe’ has gone viral. Which scamps have undermined their professional work to send this clip of their ‘gaffe’ viral and then land them top spot on The Sun football homepage?



Express delivery
Even by the low standards of the tabloid websites in the Reach stable, this is really quite something from the Express:

‘Liverpool may repeat Philippe Coutinho trick as ‘deeply unhappy’ star flies to Paris’

He’s gone to Disneyland on a mini-break.

Oh, and no f***er is going to pay over £140m for Darwin Nunez. That would not be a ‘trick’; that would be a miracle.