Jack Grealish to Liverpool as ‘somewhat unholy union’ is teased

Is Jack Grealish joining Liverpool? Is he balls. Does everybody want you to think Jack Grealish is joining Liverpool? Oh yes.

Hit the Anfield Road, Jack
We can hardly blame any outlet for leaping on The Sun‘s exclusive that Bayer Leverkusen are interested in Jack Grealish as a Florian Wirtz replacement and crowbarring ‘Liverpool’ into the headline. We did it ourselves. It’s transfer season and it’s brutal.

But we can highlight the cynicism of the Mirror for having two stabs at the same story within 12 hours.

First on Monday night came…

Liverpool transfer could open door to hand Jack Grealish move joining old rival

Obviously we are all supposed to think that Grealish could join his ‘old rival’ Liverpool. But this is not our first rodeo. Oh no.

So who is the ‘old rival’? We’re not sure Manchester City and Bayer Leverkusen have any particular enmity.

And then we remember who is set to become Leverkusen boss next month and the Mirror tease ‘a somewhat unholy union with ex-Manchester United boss Erik ten Hag’.

An ‘unholy union’ is defined as ‘a relationship that is likely to be unhappy or unsuccessful because the two partners are very incompatible with each other’. Do they have opposing beliefs about Brexit? Do they both like to sleep on the right side of the bed? Or is this all utter bollocks designed to make you think that Jack Grealish could join Liverpool?

But perhaps it was unsuccessful (shame on the Sports Brand Writer), because just a few hours later on Tuesday morning, the Mirror had another stab:

Jack Grealish gets new escape route as alternative to Liverpool target Florian Wirtz

Careless to miss off ‘at Bayer Leverkusen’ but the most important thing for journalism, and crucially Google, is that Liverpool, ‘transfer news’, Jack Grealish and Wirtz are all in the same URL.

Over at the Express – stablemates of the Mirror – they go even further:

Liverpool have opened door for Jack Grealish transfer to help out Man City

We’re not sure what’s more risible…suggesting that Liverpool could sign Grealish, or intimating that they might do it to help out Manchester City. Now that would be a somewhat unholy union.

Please release me…let me go
On May 25, Manchester United announced the departures of Victor Lindelof, Jonny Evans and Christian Eriksen following the final game of the Premier League season. No alarms and no surprises.

On June 9, they added the names of six Academy players to the released list.

So obviously…

Man Utd release nine players from club as Ruben Amorim holds last ditch contract talks

The Mirror (of course) start their story: ‘Manchester United have confirmed that Christian Eriksen, Jonny Evans and Victor Lindelof will depart the club this summer following the expiration of their contracts.’

They confirmed it two weeks ago, but tell us about these ‘last-ditch talks’ (sorry, we have to add the hyphen because English).

Veteran goalkeeper Tom Heaton is also out of contract, but the club are in talks with him about an extension.

Are they last-ditch? Probably not; we cannot imagine 39-year-old third-choice goalkeeper Heaton is a wanted man across Europe.

Will Ruben Amorim be involved in these non-last-ditch talks? We very much doubt it.

Do the Mirror care? Do they f***. Curiosity gap, innit.

Elsewhere, other outlets have decided that more is more so…

‘Man United announce 10-MAN list of players being left unemployed on free transfers – including three-time Premier League winner and £40m star’ – MailOnline. Mediawatch always appreciates the ‘unemployed’ line, as if Lindelof, Eriksen and Evans will be signing on for Jobseeker’s Allowance on July 1.

‘Man Utd release TEN players including Christian Eriksen and Jonny Evans as massive summer overhaul begins’ – The Sun.

We’re old enough to remember the ‘brutal end-of-season cull’ (The Sun) this time last year.

It’s almost like a number of footballers leave every football club every summer.

Is this the most Torygraph headline ever?
‘Why England football fans have turned on Keir Starmer’

Is it because – and this is a guess – many travelling England fans are right-wing c**ts? Just an idea.

Tonguing Tuchel
In Monday’s Mediawatch, we covered at length the call from the Daily Telegraph for players with more ‘personality’ as they warned of a ‘full-on crisis’ if players like Jack Grealish are not involved. With nine points from three games and no goals conceded, England really are sliding into the abyss.

Now Matt Law is back – in conjunction with Mike McGrath – to tell us that ‘Nobody is safe from Thomas Tuchel’s sharp tongue with England’. Which is weird because we’re pretty sure he has not said a single interesting thing since he became England manager. But clearly this is the adopted narrative: That Tuchel is the harsh after the softness of Gareth Southgate.

The problem is that the narrative is not backed up by actual words…

Tuchel is telling it how it is, even if it breaks the unwritten rule of management to stick up for players. Only a couple of years ago, Gareth Southgate was talking up Harry Kane’s chances of playing until he is 40 like Cristiano Ronaldo, while Tuchel is more circumspect.

“Cristiano is always the exception to the rule,” said Tuchel. “There are at the moment, no signs he [Kane] cannot do it at a high level. How long he can do it? I have not a crystal ball, let’s see.”

Miaow. Is that the ‘sharp tongue of Tuchel? That he says that Kane might be able to play at the highest level until he is 40, but he does not have a crystal ball? How will Kane ever recover from that vicious barb?