Jones and Lindelof top CB pair for ‘shower of sh*t’ Man Utd

Date published: Thursday 24th February 2022 2:28 - Editor F365

Jones Lindelof Man United

Most Manchester United players are woeful and separating Marcus Rashford the footballer and the philanthropist. Keep your mails coming to


Man Utd’s shower of sh*t
Well what can we say about that?

First 5 minutes set the tone for the majority of the game.

A goalkeeper glued to his line resulting in wonky head out for a corner by Maguire from some more shocking pass attempts by Bruno.

Speaking of the latter, if we were playing the Shots games as mentioned in the comments, we’d have been drunk by minute 5, by half time we’d be having our stomachs pumped.

Our best defensive performance was from a CB playing at RB. For some explicit reason, he is deemed worse than both Maguire, who I have said my son says he looks like a Roblox head and, Verane who is utterly useless.  Verane has Roblox legs, how slow is he? he’s the opposite of Pickford’s little arms.  The bloke was good when he had Ramos beside him. Who would have thought that maybe Jones and Lindelof is our best partnership?

That Goalkeeper can make worldy saves all day long but as an all round keeper, he’s freakin useless, causing so many problems that even Ronaldo went to have a word by the looks of it.  After conceding yet another corner from OUR goal kick. We cannot play out from the back, we cannot pass, so just go long ball.  DDG Says he can never see himself leaving Utd, probably because nobody is paying him 350k a week and…. AND there is talk of a new contract? ffs.

Back to Bruno, wow, just wow. He spent most of the first half at right back. Just where the heck was he playing? As for his assist? Do me a favour, it was another shit pass that 99 times out of 100 would have been cut out. He was awful, he wasn’t great against Leeds either, at fault for their 2nd by being a weak, whiney B**ch.

Can someone explain how Rashford even gets on the bench let alone start? We all get low in confidence sometimes, but it’s not that. It’s that he’s actually not very good and it’s being realised.  Did he really take a 35 yard shot again? The commentator said when it flew into row Z, “Not this time” say what? When was the last time? It is all Rashford does, cut inside shoot, miss and look like he can’t believe it happened.

Back to Bruno, Spare a thought for Pogba (can’t believe I’m saying that) and Fred.  Totally overrun in the middle and where was Bruno again? RB, RW, LB, LW, CF, is it any wonder Pogba and Fred look so bad. Admittedly, they are bad but Bruno’s positioning just exposes everything. What chance do they have?

Luke Shaw is just as woeful, I’d go as far as to say that Brandon Williams would do no worse.

I’m not getting excited about Elanga. He looks good but let’s ease off on the praise and not Rashford him up. Let him continue showing up the social media wh**es by actually doing his job. He did more in his first 30 seconds than rash did for about 70 minutes.

Sancho is far better on the left, I don’t care what anyone says that he should play on the right.  Although on either side he is miles above Rashford. He now gets dumped out on the right because Rashford is woeful there, only to realise that Rash is also shit on the left. So then he gets moved across again, losing any coherence in his game.

One big notice from the game and also the one against Leeds is that Utd really don’t like it up em.  Celebrating like they’d won the league by beating Leeds who are 50/50 on relegation and missing half their 1st team.

Yet, they came away with a 1-1 last night. Totally undeserved again.  With away goals not counting now, I still have money on Madrid in the return.

Yet they sit 4th in the league.  Being 90% crap all season, they still sit 4th.  Yes the EPL is the most exciting league as anyone can beat anyone on any given day.  So with Utd being turged for so long, what does it say about the overall quality of the league? There are only 2 good teams in the league. City and Liverpool.

You just don’t think they can ever play any worse, then we see a performance like this?
As for Ralph, grow a pair and drop either Maguire or Verane or both. Shoehorning the most consistent CD performer in at right back is a joke. Picking Rashford is another joke and the biggest of all…. back to Bruno.
Allowing Bruno to do what he wants to the detriment of the team.  I don’t care if Bruno loses it in the final 3rd trying to play it through, it’s just he loses it in positions he should never even be in. For someone so weak when challenged, why would you want him back there trying to tackle?

Someone said that KDB has got similar passing stats regarding % completed, yeah 6% difference is quite big really. Bigger difference is that KDB is crossing a lot more where % completed is expected to be lower than a simple 10 yard pass to feet.

It’s more enjoyable watching Utd now, It brightens up my days, the pundit reactions saying they weren’t at their best, the player reactions, the fan reactions, some who think this team of really average players can compete with the right manager.  You lot chose Ole, who bought in this shower of sh*t.  You lot slate the glazers but applauded when they bought this shower of sh*t, claiming they’re world class.  Which means you lot know about as much about football as the owners.

Have a great day, sun’s out here and I’m off for a wine luncheon.
Mike (thinking I need a surname)

Calm down, it was a draw
Am I missing something?! When did a draw against the Spanish champions become a bad result?

I remember Romario’s Barcelona absolutely tonking United years ago – that was a bad result.

If you can’t be satisfied with a draw away at serial Champions League finalists Atletico and use it to slam one of your own players who is clearly going through a bad time in his career – then maybe football isn’t for you.

And it’s Atletico NOT Athletico!
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London

Rashford was rubbish
Just on Ashwin’s email.

I watched the game – Rashford was indeed rubbish. I also watched the BT coverage afterwards – there was a lengthy section on what is going wrong with Marcus Rashford and how bad he was.

A quick Google of “Marcus Rashford” reveals story after story after story about his bad performance last night and his bad form.

Where the hell is this praise Ashwin is talking about please?

What is Ashwin trying to achieve by regurgitating made up nonsense that the woke, SJW, lefty, Liberal, elite, lizard-person, George Soros sponsored, Corbyn voting, avocado eating media have a bizarre conspiracy to pretend Marcus Rashford is in good form? Seriously, what are you trying to do there? Is it some bizarre logical leap that if you can convince yourself that the media are lying about his football (they aren’t), then they are lying about his charity work in feeding children is good thing? And if they’re lying about that, then Q must’ve been right about the underground Pizza Parlour lair?

I genuinely want an answer please.

Rashford is playing badly. The media are honestly reporting on that. Doesn’t make him a bad person, or his charity work any less worthy, which has maybe earned him some personal goodwill in the tone of coverage (and a depressing amount of bad will as well) but they are not pretending that he played well yesterday. People may argue that his campaigning is interfering with his football but I don’t see that. He was very active during lockdown and it seems to have quietened right down. But frankly, even if it is, I’m happier to see fewer hungry kids, to be honest.
Andy (MUFC)

Atletico cheating
In response to Ryan’s mail, I’m a neutral and I absolutely detest their cheating. Atletico Madrid are the worst I’ve seen, Italy are bad as well and all the praise given out to Bonnuci and Chiellini during the Euros made my skin crawl, but most teams seem to do it to some extent, these days.

Feigning serious injury by rolling around and contorting the face in pain is by far the most irritating thing modern footballers do. Is it just me or did that not happen in the Premier League 20 years ago? Now they all do it all the time and I find myself shouting at the TV ‘get up, you c***’ every ten minutes. English players seem do it just as much as foreigners, so there’s no xenophobia in any of this.

It also really winds me up when pundits and others celebrate cheating (which they weirdly like to call sh*thousery). Can’t they see the damage to the game those players are doing? It sets a terrible example to kids and it’s only going to put people off from watching the game (it’s never going to encourage them to watch, is it?).
Thomas Ewens 

I wasn’t a neutral last night, but I’ve watched a fair few Atletico games over the years and I can comfortably say they’re the team I dislike the most. Obviously, as a Man Utd fan I’m honour bound to dislike Liverpool, City etc. but at least with those clubs I can find redeeming features, like the quality of their football, Klopp as a human being etc.

I’ve never particularly cared for Spanish football and the shithousery and cheating in any ‘Classico’ is explanation enough. But Atletico under Simeone have really turned it to 11. The way they acted in the away leg versus Porto in December was an absolute disgrace to football and while I can’t say I was surprised they did it, I was surprised at the lengths they went to cheat.

So no, even as a neutral it’s not enjoyable to watch, and probably the highlight of last night after the goal was the shithousery Matic brought to the game. Just just desserts in my opinion.
Daniel, Cambridge


Burnley belief
Sean Dyche probably never lost it, but I did, most of the fans did, and it certainly looked like the players had. But there seems to be a unified belief that we’re staying up now.
The atmosphere was bouncing last night and the players were on another level. It was great. With all our games in hand, the form of the teams around us, and Wout up front, I have complete faith we’ll get out of the mess we’re in.
And that’s been the biggest factor really. Wout Weghorst. He’s been an absolute game-changer for us. He’s changed everything for us.
2021 was a year of repetition. The defence would hold firm and clear the ball, Chris Wood wouldn’t do anything about it and the ball would come straight back to our defensive line. And that’s not meant to malign Chris Wood. But his all-round play is just not as good as Wout’s. Wout is just another level better. He holds the ball up, he harries the opposition, he wins headers, he brings other players into the game – he’s just better.
By the time we’d sold Chris Wood I thought we were doomed. I’ll let some statistician look at the games lost, goals scored, etc. in 2021 and specifically at the start of this season, but it wasn’t pretty. But Wout Weghorst… Christ. He’s gonna keep us up.
Brentford, Leeds, Everton, maybe even Villa and Leicester. Watch yourselves, because we’re on the up. And so, it seems are Newcastle, Watford and maybe even Norwich. The relegation fight is heating up.
Nick P. Burnley FC.

Man City bottling
I’d rather not bring up the subject about bottling a large lead.

1. Pep’s still in pole position. Everyone says we’re within striking distance even before the City loss to Spurs (4 losses in 5 games except to City away lol).

But flip it around: City have got a 3 point lead, and a home game against us. Isnt that like a double advantage, in a race of fine margins? And of course, City have almost easily won 3/4 past premierships. Underestimate City at anyone’s peril! I’m totally aware of that. And city are totally capable of winning 10-15 games on the bounce so …

Maybe we can start to talk about bottling when we, er, even start to take the lead.

(I hope i’ve sufficiently reversed jinxed City lol)

2. More importantly, there’s been just ONE team, and only one, that has blown 3 christmas day leads in the premiership.

No prizes for guessing which team that is. We’re 3-0 up on everyone else. Until another team comes close, say by blowing 2-3 christmas day leads, i’d rather not mention anything about this. Own goals, glass houses and stones etc…

3. It’s a good place to be. Earlier it was 10-13 points behind; now it’s just 3. Definitely within striking distance, with 13 more games to go. And massive ucl and carabao games to go. All to play for.

That’s more than what i was wishing for given where we were back in late fall where we started getting dropped and turning wins into draws and draws to losses.
Gab YNWA (bashful lfc fan)

Palace pondering
A terrible run of form, a midweek game, a bitter rival and a former manager. All the signs pointed to another Crystal Palace defeat that threatened to drag them ever closer to the relegation battle.

*Is this football’s most underrated rivalry? I’ve always been curious as to why Palace and Watford has never become a grudge match in the same way that Palace and Brighton & Hove has. The two sides have been in the same division for much of their history and they have been involved in each other’s best moments (each club’s most recent run to FA Cup final included a victory over the other); some players and staff have crossed the divide, but being the hero for one club automatically makes you the villain for the other – that, or the target for rough treatment, punished and unpunished. Odious mascots are optional.

*While all the focus was on Roy Hodgson and Ray Lewington, there was a former Hornet in the Palace lineup. Will Hughes had to wait for his opportunities to start, but has become a dependable presence in a three-man midfield. Matt Woosnam wrote for the Athletic about the importance of Palace’s midfield before the game; of the four who featured, Hughes is the only one currently under contract for next season. Conor Gallagher is destined for greater things than Palace can offer him, and Cheikhou Kouyate and James McArthur are older than the age profile in the club’s current recruitment policy.

Hughes and Kouyate provided an excellent defensive platform for Gallagher to be more attacking, in turn enabling Palace to dominate possession. Meanwhile it cannot be a coincidence that Palace appeared to be in a better mood with McArthur back in the first team picture, albeit only appearing late on as a substitute. F365 referred to him as the unsung hero of Selhurst Park this season, but this isn’t quite right: plenty of fans and journalists have rightly praised his efforts and performances this season, as he embodies the role of the senior professional.

*With both teams lined up in a 4-3-3, it was surprising that Palace found so much success down the wings. The first goal began on the right, with a surging Gallagher playing a ball into the box. It wasn’t cleared properly and Jean-Philippe Mateta fired home via a deflection. You make your own luck.

*Next up, a bit of typical Palace as they conceded from a set piece. This was largely on Gallagher, unfortunately. He was tasked with marking Moussa Sissoko, who was immediately behind him when he headed home. On the replay, the Chelsea loanee is crabbing (assistant referee style) instead of running, and isn’t able to jump effectively for the ball. This is something that can be improved, with the right coach.

*The Eagles regained the lead towards the end of the first half, when Tyrick Mitchell was given two opportunities to cross the ball. He floated a deep cross to Gallagher, who had taken up a deeper position to potentially win a second ball. A defender charges at him but an excellent first touch to control the ball and push it into space takes him completely out of the equation, giving the Palace man enough time to fire home.

*Watford did come out to play in the second half, and the visitors had to withstand a bit of pressure. Then, Wilfried Zaha took centre stage. In the 85th minute, another cross towards the Position Of Maximum Opportunity found Palace’s leading light, whose first touch shifted the ball from his right foot to his left and enabled him to use an opponent as a screen. Roy Hodgson would have appreciated the tactics, if not his own team’s lack of defending.

Cue home fans deciding to call it night. A shame really, because they missed a spectacular goal. Zaha tormented two defenders on the left, cut inside and unleashed a curling, right-footed  shot that found the net inside the far post. Vindication for a player who, in previous games against this opposition, has been targeted, deliberately injured, had his reputation sullied and been mocked by a mascot.

*Next up for Patrick Vieira’s side is a home game against Burnley. You’d expect a similar approach from the Eagles, and a tougher test from the Clarets.
Ed Quoththeraven


Commentator nonsense
Scoring goals is rather difficult when playing top-class football. Saving shots from top-class strikers can also be a challenge. Defending against the best players in the world would leave you with, to quote the late great Hugh McIlvenny about George Best, with “twisted blood.”

So when I hear commentators saying, “Well he should have scored there,” or “at the very least he should have hit the target,” when a cross whipped in from the wing gave the striker a split second to connect and direct the ball in the right direction it strikes me that they are just talking nonsense. Or when a brilliant forward (correct me if I am wrong, but to be a brilliant forward you need to be a lot faster than brilliant defenders) nips past a big centre-half or turns a left-back, the commentators indicate that they should be replaced. Keepers are “in the wrong position, look” or “should have stopped that” or when they do “that was an easy height for the keeper” which is when they are in the right position and did stop the shot.

We all watch the game because when we were young and played, we were beaten hands down in any position we played by those with more talent and speed, hardly any of whom got anywhere in football.

So would the commentators please remember that we love football because goals are not scored every time there is an attack, that saves are not easy, that defenders are there to be beaten, and stop talking as if playing Is a walk in the park.


Spurs acceptance
The results of the last few weeks is honestly why I love being a Spurs fan. It’s just a nice reassuring feeling that no matter the personnel and location we are a very odd footballing team.

Acceptance is peace. Last night’s result was just so predictable.
Steve (THFC)


Mourinho stan in the house
Does Conte’s throwing of the towel after 20 odd games make you think any higher of Morinho’s 86-games Tottenham tenure?
I thought so…
Radu Tomescu, Taiwan


Marching on together
When Phillips and Bamford went down in (what felt like) the first game of the season, everybody wrote us off. Everybody. Yet here we are, still 3 points above the drop. There are millions out there who have written us off.

*faces team*

There are a few out there who do still believe in you. Who will never give up on you. When you next go out on the pitch, those are the people I want in your minds. Those are the people I want in your hearts.

Every man at some point in his life is gonna lose a battle. He’s gonna fight, and he’s gonna lose. But what makes him a man, is that in the midst of that battle, he does not lose himself. This season’s not over, this battle is not over.

So let’s hear it one more time…

…marching on together.
Eric Taylor, LUFC and Dillon Panthers


Ref bias
I’ve long bemoaned the lack of consistency in refereeing in this league, and some of that can be pushed away with the sheer number of very subjective decisions a referee has to make, but often there are rules that really don’t have much wriggle room and every ref should be giving the same decision.
Last night Mane was clean through on Meslier, centre of the goal and Ayling put his hand on Mane’s shoulder, pulled him back and potentially knee’d him in the back of the legs as well. Michael Oliver (I think it was) gave the penalty – no problem here – but why wasn’t Ayling sent off? I’m not here to kick Leeds when they’re down but if a player denies a clear goal scoring chance in the penalty area without making a genuine attempt to play the ball it is a penalty AND a red card. It is that simple. As an Arsenal fan I’ve seen Luiz sent off for this very offence 3 times in recent years, once farcically so vs Wolves when the Wolves striker’s backswing kicked Luiz’s knee. Again, I have no axe to grind with Leeds but the inconsistency in applying what is a very straight forward rule is shocking. Perhaps everyone can finally admit that refs consciously treat certain players or teams or situations differently?
Rich, AFC

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