Jude Bellingham ‘witch hunt’ PROVED as ‘fun-sponge footie chiefs’ target England hero

Editor F365
Jude Bellingham balls coverage
Jude Bellingham balls coverage

It’s July 2. We are two days away from an actual general election. And the biggest news in England is apparently that UEFA (sorry, ‘fun-sponge footie chiefs’ UEFA) are investigating Jude Bellingham’s ‘I’ve got a massive pair of bollocks’ gesture.

It’s an ‘ENGLAND EUROS DRAMA’ and it is quite handily unfolding at exactly the same time as The Sun would quite like you to forget there is a general election, thank you. Nothing to see here, apart from those ‘petty UEFA officials’ trying to stop a young man enjoying himself as all young men enjoy themselves: with their hands near their crotch.

We are told that ‘ENGLAND hero Jude Bellingham has been threatened with a Euros ban’, which is – in Sun vernacular – a right ‘LOAD OF BELLS’.

The only thing that has happened is that UEFA ‘will conduct a disciplinary investigation regarding a potential violation of the basic rules of decent conduct’.

As Martin Lipton writes elsewhere in The Sun: ‘A ban is now hanging over him until the outcome of the probe although in previous similar cases players have been fined rather than suspended for gestures.’

Or as Sky Sports News’ chief reporter Kaveh Solhekol says: “If he’s found guilty by UEFA he could be facing a suspension or a fine or both. But I think it’s very unlikely he will be suspended for any games in this tournament.

“My understanding is in these cases a fine is more likely. And there’s no guarantee the investigation would be completed before the end of this tournament in two weeks’ time.

“Five years ago, in a Champions League game, Cristiano Ronaldo was playing for Juventus and a UEFA disciplinary body decided he had made an offensive gesture as well, which is similar to the gesture Bellingham is alleged to have made.

“Ronaldo wasn’t banned, he received a fine – 20,000 Euros. So there is a precedent for this kind of thing.”

But never mind precedents…’boss Gareth Southgate and fans face an anxious wait’…if they are total loons with no grasp on reality. Which, handily, is The Sun‘s target audience.

Meanwhile, the Daily Star are calling UEFA ‘miserable gits’ for opening an investigation that they literally had to open after Bellingham’s gesture. We prefer ‘fun-sponge footie chiefs’ but ‘miserable gits’ works too.

👉 Will Jude Bellingham be BANNED for Euro 2024 quarter-final against Germany? Obviously not, but…
👉 England star Bellingham explains ‘who else?’ celebration after ‘rubbish’ criticism

We have incredibly low expectations of the Daily Star but for some inexplicable reason, we thought the Daily Mail might not succumb (though they have at least left the front page to some dog-whistle political nonsense about defence spending).

And yet here they are on their back page, claiming that Bellingham ‘could face ban over ‘crude gesture”, even though it takes just a few paragraphs for Mike Keegan to admit a ban is incredibly unlikely.

He literally writes that ‘it would be difficult to see a reasonable prospect of a suspension’…five paragraphs after saying Bellingham ‘could face a ban’.

What a right load of bollocks.

Remember that Sky Sports update citing the Ronaldo case and fine? Well, talkSPORT are here with their own false equivalence:

What punishment Jude Bellingham could face as England hero risks same ban as Cristiano Ronaldo for gesture

We know that UEFA only fined Ronaldo so what is this new breed of nonsense?

‘There have been punishments handed out to players for similar offences in recent years.

‘Most notably to Portugal icon Cristiano Ronaldo.

‘Earlier this year, Ronaldo was banned for one game after gesturing towards fans during a game for Al Nassr in Saudi Arabia.’

And in Saudi Arabia, you can literally be beheaded for being gay, so maybe let’s stick with comparing like with like, with talkSPORT then conceding that Bellingham is far more likely to be fined like 2019 Ronaldo, presumably because he is being investigated by UEFA rather than an oppressive state that practises Sharia Law.

But we save the most ludicrous take for last and it’s to be found on MailOnline…

And they even have the nerve to call this an ‘EXCLUSIVE’, as if they were the very first to realise that Bellingham has done the pretend crotch-grab before.

And of course this PROVES there is a ‘witch hunt’ despite UEFA previously punishing Ronaldo and Diego Simeone for very similar gestures, almost like UEFA have a duty to investigate such things.

But then maybe we are the fools for not realising there is a conspiracy against Jude Bellingham as Big Football tries to take down the England hero (by probably fining him about 5% of his weekly wages).