Jurgen Klopp tried awful hard but failed. But first, prepare to be patronised…
‘Ever get the feeling you’re being patronised?’ begins Dave Kidd’s column in The Sun.
Well yes, Dave. Right about now when you write a whole column about the ludicrous notion of relegation being scrapped even though you know full well that the idea is a non-starter, neglecting to mention that it is considered so fanciful that it was not even discussed at Friday’s meeting of Premier League clubs.
Indeed, elsewhere in The Sun, Martin Lipton writes that ‘both Sky and BT are both making clear that they expect both European and relegation issues to remain “live”‘. The no-relegation talk is purely politicking by the bottom six clubs and is not considered a serious suggestion.
But that reality does not suit Kidd, who writes a column about how ‘PL clubs’ ludicrous ‘no relegation’ plan insults fans and it should be flushed DOWN THE PAN’ without making it anywhere clear enough that this is the suggestion of just six clubs and it is a suggestion that would not be ratified by the Premier League, the FA, the EFL or the broadcasters.
‘Ever get the feeling you’re being treated as useful idiots?’
Again, yes. Because you know full bloody well that this is a notion being mooted merely because those clubs at most danger from relegation are looking after their own interests and they want to create enough noise to put an end to Project Restart and its plans for neutral venues. It’s not actually going to happen.
‘Ever get the feeling that Premier League clubs are using your supposed desperation to watch any kind of football as an excuse to protect their self-interest?’
No. We get the feeling that six specific Premier League clubs are using other Premier League clubs’ desperation not to lose oodles of money as an excuse to protect their self-interest.
‘Well the idea being floated that the English top flight could resume without relegation really should convince you of it.’
The word there is ‘floated’ because it has no substance; this idea will drift away. And notice that Kidd has still not mentioned that the idea only has the backing of six Premier League clubs? There’s a reason for that; because you’re a ‘useful idiot’ and he is hoping that you join him in your abhorrence of this plan before actually checking if there is a plan.
SPOILER: There isn’t.
It’s all red…
Number of paragraphs before Dave Kidd mentions Manchester United: 18.
Slug of said relegation column on The Sun’s website: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/11547555/premier-league-ludicrous-no-relegation-man-utd/
Ever get the feeling you’re being treated as useful idiots?
We’re not saying there is a theme to The Sun and their ‘Football Features’ section but…
‘Inside Cristiano Ronaldo’s £20m private Gulfstream G200 jet with top speed of 560mph, one of just 250 ever made’
‘Inside David Beckham’s £6m Cotswolds mansion where birthday boy and Man Utd star is celebrating turning 45 in lockdown’
‘Inside Eden Hazard’s futuristic £10m Madrid mansion with pool and six bedrooms he bought from Spanish singer’
‘Inside Andy Carroll and Billi Mucklow’s £5m home with mini Angel of the North statue in Newcastle star’s garden’
‘Inside Arsenal pay cut rebel Mesut Ozil’s £10m London mansion complete with personalised doors and £800k car collection’
Inside = We have looked on Instagram.
Haal to play for…
Where to start with Marcus Banks’ Manchester Evening News piece on Jadon Sancho, Erling Haaland and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer?
Perhaps, as is traditional, with the headline: ‘Solskjaer can repeat Erling Haaland success with Jadon Sancho at Manchester United.’
First thought: Repeat the ‘success’ of somehow failing to sign him for Manchester United?
Second thought: Are they really suggesting that Solskjaer could kickstart the career of a player who has scored 14 goals and registered 15 assists in the Bundesliga this season?
Yes. They are suggesting exactly that.
‘Haaland worked with Solskjaer during their time in Molde and netted 16 goals in 30 appearances prior to his switch to Red Bull Salzburg.
‘Given Solskjaer’s prowess as a forward during his playing career, it was natural for the United great to impact Haaland’s game during their time together in Norway.’
Indeed. It was ‘natural’ for Solskjaer to influence a 17-year-old striker who had only previously played in the Norwegian second flight. And was now gearing up to play in the auspicious surroundings of the Norwegian top flight.
Which makes him ever so slightly different to a £100m-rated 20-year-old winger who has already played 90 first-team games for Borussia Dortmund, don’t you think? Clearly not.
‘If Sancho does move to Old Trafford, Solskjaer must use everything he’s learned as a player, a manager and from working with Sir Alex Ferguson to repeat his Haaland achievement with the England international.’
Pretty hard to ‘repeat an achievement’ in an entirely different set of circumstances with a different profile of player at an entirely different club.
On Monday night, Jurgen Klopp was interviewed by beIN SPORTS in which he was asked which players he would like to coach in future, with Kylian Mbappe, Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and Sergio Aguero specifically mentioned by the interviewer.
Now Klopp is a wily old fox so was not about to give anything away, saying:
“Look I cannot answer those kinds of questions without creating headlines the next day, I know that’s what I don’t want to do. I love them all and there’s a few more players out there.
“They are all exceptional players. The players they are now because of their own attitude, because of their skills and all that stuff and I love watching them but I have no problem that I never trained one of them.
“Where is Neymar on that list? Where is Lewandowski on that list? There are so many good players out there, and they are all really good. I had Lewandowski.
“Mbappe has the biggest future. We can speak about Jadon Sancho as well, so they’re all coming up.”
Klopp then clarified once again that he covets nobody, saying:
“Sadio Mane is young enough and Mo Salah is young enough to be in that group for the next few years.
“I am completely happy with the boys that I have, but I never thought about the others. When I am at a club then I work with the players I have, I don’t dream about other players. If we can get one of them in the future, we will see, but we will make the best of the situation we have.”
So that’s that. Headlines avoided. Phew.
‘Klopp responds to Mbappe & Sancho links to Liverpool as he keeps transfer door open’ – Goal.
‘Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp teases Kylian Mbappe and Jadon Sancho transfer plan’ – Express.
”We’ll see’: Klopp suggests two huge-money players he’d like to sign for Liverpool’ – HITC
Bad luck, Jurgen.
Playing the game
‘Liverpool are braced for unwanted Champions League return which Kylian Mbappé will initiate’ – Liverpool.com.
Slug for said story: https://www.liverpool.com/liverpool-fc-news/transfer-news/kylian-mbappe-liverpool-transfer-wage-18200105
Mention of ‘wage’ in said story: None. Zilch. Bugger all.
Recommended reading of the day
David Squires on Project Restart
Melissa Reddy on Dave Kitson
Rory Smith on football’s money not flowing downstream
Recommended watching of the day