Kai Havertz to Man United brings out the nonsense…

Date published: Monday 1st June 2020 12:06

Kai Havertz is joining Man United to play where? For how much?

 

Having a laugh
First of all, it is some bloody cheek to claim a back-page ‘exclusive’ on a story about Manchester United’s interest in Kai Havertz when The Sun themselves have previously reported that interest here, here and here. And that was just the first few results on Google.

Then there’s the price. Old-stager Alan Nixon writes that ‘they are expected to start with a £50m offer’. Which sounds pretty pointless as The Sun themselves ‘exclusively’ told us less than two weeks ago that ‘MANCHESTER CITY have joined the £70m transfer race for Bayer Leverkusen star Kai Havertz’. Somehow, we don’t think £50m will cut it.

And then there’s the reasoning, with Nixon writing:

‘United see former Manchester City youth player Sancho, 20, playing down the right, so Havertz would probably be on the left — with Marcus Rashford through the middle.’

Which would be really very odd because Havertz has literally not played on the left in over three years and Rashford has not played through the middle since November.

As Havertz has scored seven goals in his last seven games as a centre-forward, United would ‘probably’ just play him there.

 

Caught in the middle
It did not take long for The Sun website to take up the Havertz baton, putting together a ‘How Man Utd could line up next season with Kai Havertz and Jadon Sancho as Paul Pogba nears transfer exit door’ piece.

And they claim that ‘Solskjaer is expected to try his luck with a £50m offer for Havertz and could utilise the 20-year-old German through the middle’. Seems sensible. Maybe tell the old guy.

And as for Pogba, we thought that ‘MANCHESTER UNITED bosses believe Paul Pogba’s agent Mino Raiola is the only person pushing for a transfer away from the club’ and that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is planning for his stay? It seems that an awful lot can change in three hours.

 

How to build a team…
Over at the Daily Star, they have their own ‘How Man Utd could line-up if they complete Kai Havertz and Jadon Sancho transfers’ article.

And they have nailed this. Apart from a few very small points…

 

The Kai. The Secret.
That Kai Havertz story is on The Sun‘s back page, while the Daily Mirror report on Jadon Sancho’s t-shirt protest, the Daily Mail go for Formula One and The Times report on quarantine rules being eased for sport. Which is odd because…

Well, no they don’t. What actually happened is that the Evening Standard website ran a story on Sunday with this headline:

‘Bayern want Leroy Sane and Kai Havertz to ‘begin new era’, confirms deputy chairman Uli Honess’

Yes, the spelling was wrong, but so was the sentiment, because Uli Hoeness actually said that a deal for Havertz is pretty much impossible (he costs £50m or £70m, you know):

“We would certainly like to have Kai Havertz but, at the moment, it is so that one does not know exactly what the economic future of all football is.

“I would like to see him in Munich from a sporting perspective, but as of today I honestly cannot imagine it, although I would like to see it.”

Oh and the quotes were first reported on Saturday night.

So in short: Saturday’s news that there will be no Bayern Munich spending spree did not actually lead to talk of a Bayern spending spree on Monday’s back pages.

It did lead to a very misleading tweet from the BBC, mind.

 

Ighalo rollercoaster
The Sun, May 30: ‘ODION IGHALO is set to leave Manchester United TOMORROW unless the Red Devils can agree a dramatic late extension to his loan deal.’

The Sun, May 31: ‘MANCHESTER UNITED are close to sealing an extension to Odion Ighalo’s loan deal to prevent him leaving TODAY, according to reports.’

The Sun, later on May 31, and this one is an ‘exclusive’: ‘MANCHESTER UNITED have FAILED to agree a loan extension for striker Odion Ighalo.’

The Sun, June 1: ‘ODION IGHALO has “agreed” a loan extension with Manchester United until the end of January.’

Coming? Going? F*** knows.

 

Better call Saul
Some excellent click-baiting from the Daily Star, who propose to tell us…

‘What Saul Niguez to Man Utd transfer would mean for Bruno Fernandes’

Our guess? It would mean that Bruno Fernandes would be playing with Saul Niguez.

 

Full kit w***ers
‘WEST HAM stars have been getting ready for behind-closed-doors football by training in full kit’ – The Sun.

Yep. That’ll do it.

 

We are the champions
‘JOSE MOURINHO has told players worried about the season restarting to stop being selfish and get on with it’ – The Sun.

Has he? That sounds harsh. After all, some players have legitimate health concerns. What exactly has he said?

“We shouldn’t be selfish, we shouldn’t demand too much. It’s our time to give.”

For a tiny two-letter word, ‘we’ has a hell of a lot of impact on that sentiment. Or at least it should.

 

Recommended reading of the day
Andy Dunn on Liverpool winning the title wherever

Neil Duncanson on England at the 1950 World Cup

Seb Stafford-Bloor on Mason Mount

More Related Articles