Klopp or ASDA delivery man next please…

Date published: Sunday 13th September 2015 1:04

Basically anybody would now do (nan?) for some Liverpool fans who are very, very fed up. Man United fans are cautiously happy after that 3-1 win over Liverpool…

A great Mailbox, I am sure you will agree. Send responses to theeditor@football365.com

New Manager Please
I would happily accept:

– Jurgen Klopp;
– Frank De Boer;
– Jamie Carragher (supported by an experienced Director of Football type, perhaps);
– My nan;
– The ghost of Bill Shankly; or
– The guy that just delivered my online shopping from Asda.

For Rodgers to go to Old Trafford and show such a lack of ambition is unforgivable. I’m sick of the sight of him.
Alex, LFC


That’s It: Rodgers Out
I’ve finally lost my patience. I’ve never been an advocate for changing managers (apart from Hodgson) and thought Rodgers should have been given one more season. I realise I was wrong. Here’s why:

The Rodgers (lack of) philosophy. On recruiting Rodgers, FSG said that they had bought into his philosophy for the club. But where is this philosophy? It was supposed to be possession-based football and a pressing game a la Barcelona. We are now a hoofing team because we have Benteke. Why did we ever sell Carroll? This is his main sin as it shows he is unable to carry out what he wants (if he knows what he wants of course).

His blind spot regarding defence. Liverpool’s defensive record under Rodgers is that of a mid-table team. Every season. And it’s not as if he hasn’t spent money on it. Sakho, Lovren and Llori bring the total to over £40m alone.

His unfathomable persisting with Lovren. Anyone will tell you he’s useless Sakho, Lllori, Gomez, Wisdom and Toure are all probably better. Make that definitely better. Lovren vies with Konchesky as Liverpool’s worst ever. He also persisted with Balotelli last season and we all know what a success that was.

His transfer record. Some will blame the transfer committee but Rodgers himself says that he has the last call Borini, Aspas, Moses, Cissokho, Lambert, Lovren and Balotelli have all been dreadful. Markovic, Assaidi, Sahin, Llori, and Sakho have never been given a proper chance. Allen divides opinion. I can’t even form an opinion on Lallana. And most of these are expensive players. A smaller club wouldn’t be making these mistakes whereas the bigger clubs can afford to. The only unqualified successes have been Coutinho and Sturridge – I can’t blame Rodgers for the latter’s injuries.

Despite huge investment, the squad lacks any star players. We’ve always had someone, be it Gerrard, Torres (the good version) or Suarez. The best we have now is Coutinho. The likes of Henderson and Milner may be good professionals but they lack that stellar, game-changing quality. Manchester City have loads of stars, Chelsea and Arsenal a few. (I’m not yet convinced about Man U or Spurs).

His unerring ability to put his foot in it. Rodgers first rule of verbal dynamics – whatever Rodgers says there will be an inverse action.

He may ask for patience but he’s had three seasons. I’m not sure any amount of time on the training field will sort this lot out. Yes, he lost Carragher, Suarez and Gerrard but all clubs lose players. He’s spent a lot too. I suspect FSG may be losing their patience. I’m sure the fans have and that is generally the precursor for a change.
Garth Litmus (almost wanted United to score a couple more to hasten things along)




…Forget all his usual positional yoga. Forget his loyalty to Lovren. Forget him playing Ings and Firminho out wide. He says we defended well in the first half and he was very happy about that.

Liverpool can’t be happy with defending well. For me (Clive) that alone is enough to sack him.

Brendan Rodgers out. Jurgen klopp in.
TAG (what’s wrong with Milner) LFC


…Recently Brendan Rodgers lost Brian, LFC, the Mailbox contributor most likely to be a propaganda bot developed by FSG (no disrespect).

Every time we take a step forward, Brendan steps on a rake like Sideshow Bob on Terror Lake.

I am openly calling for change at the top. I’m hoping our young manager produces it, but I’d like to return Jurgen’s wink on behalf of the club (note: I have less than no say in the decision).
Ian, LFC (eeeuhuhuhuhuh) Medellin


Does Anybody Have A Clue?
There isn’t a single Liverpool player who knows how we want to play football. That might be because Rodgers has no idea either. If that is the case then we are properly f**ked.

Where was all the character he always mouths off about? We looked worse from the third minute onwards and never had the fight to scrap and win that game. We also didn’t have the guile and skill to win it by just being the better team. Possibly because we aren’t better but that makes it even more important to find another way.

A thoroughly unremarkable performance, a remarkably predictable collapse and we still have no idea at this point what style of football we hope to settle into in order to try and win some games. That defeat was all too obvious; and the lack of hope before the game really bothered me.
Minty, LFC


You’ve got to feel for Jurgen Klopp. He’s got a tough decision to make between Liverpool and Chelsea.


Dear Brendan…
Play F***ing Sakho


All LFC fans


United v Liverpool: Alternative Conclusions
1. Two men fighting for a fit bird and trying to score…one is an under-confident kid who doesn’t get a sniff. The other is an overconfident douche who yaps all day. The yapper is impotent. Neither score…story of the first half.

2. Everybody at the bar comes hoping to have a good time remembering how the bird was fit. Dull as hell.

3. Fellaini was the striker who started. Read that again. It gets funnier each time you hear that.

4. His suspension for the first three games is what caused this. Ideal, if we had played him before the window shut in that role. Seeing the ball bounce off him was very Rooney. It’s almost like LVG said to him, play like Rooney. Now all that remains is him going bald.

5. Selling Robin Van Persie seems like a daft thing to do. Yes, he was waning but waning Van Persie > Fellaini. In fact Waning Hernandez, Welbeck, insert any striker > Midfielder.

6. The real reason United won. Ashley Young running aimlessly past the free-kick so Mata could square it. Everyone knows he won’t take it. Brings a sense of surety only to be hit by a Blind beauty.

7. Schweinsteiger was good. Carrick was class. It felt so good to see a midfield bossed at Old Trafford. Rare commodity over five years now. If only they man marked Carrick, you would see this team struggle.

8. Did you see that moment when the third goal went in…LVG wanted to hug Giggs and he gave him the cold shoulder. Awkward. Important for the next boss to not seem to be too close to the current hierarchy.

9. That said, the second-best moment was the simple manner in which Skrtel was made to look like an idiot. Not very tough but that finish made it exquisite. Martial is that alien from outer space after all. In ten games we know if he is French toast or French Roast. Till then, let’s enjoy the French nonchalance. He must rub his hands with glee. Any striker with Fellaini as competition would.

10. Third-best moment was the look on Gomez face. In real time, I thought it was a great tackle. Then came the face. Then everybody and their dog screamed penalty. He needs to learn from Skrtel to keep an angry look despite making stupid mistakes.

11. Both managers made basic mistakes. Why play Depay on the left when there was Gomez for the taking? Darmian is a monster at right-back. Teams will only attack us on the left. Having Depay run at Gomez would have gotten us there sooner. Why play Milner in the middle when he could cross from the right all day. It would have kept Shaw in check and given Bentake service.

12. Thank heavens Ander and Mata have that game intelligence. Magic comes in pairs.

13. Thank heavens Young has the luck and understanding with his teammates. Fellaini, Young and Mata, Ander are the love stories from last season that worked. The team improves when their chemistry clicks.

14. Brendan is a sitting duck. When the confidence-booster loses confidence, it is a sad sight to see. Losing his trusted men at the end of last season was suicide. He should have stood by them or gone with them. Now he has to form a new identity with a new management team and new players. Unfortunately, the fans see only him. I think the guy is a great guy who will figure it out. He needs continuity. He doesn’t have that. Losing your top player and then rebuilding twice is not easy. Better to buy three good players than a dozen bad ones. Always makes it easier to show progress.

15. Liverpool with everyone fit will be good. Skrtl, Sakho, Clyne are three on four good folks. Can, Henderson in the middle with Coutinho, Milner and Firmino/Ibe is not a bad three behind Benteke. Add lallana, ings, Sturridge to return and you have a strong first eleven. Sadly, the left-back will remain a huge issue.

16. This year, the fourth spot is there for the taking. Tottenham, Southampton, Everton, Liverpool and everyone else who could have/should have strengthened should be kicking themselves. Except City, every team has improved marginally or regressed quite a bit.
Sudarsan Ravi (Who do you think will take the fourth spot?)


…I have to say United played Liverpool like a fiddle at Saturday’s game. Spent the first half lumping every cross and corner to the Fellaini’s head and just when everyone expected the same, sexy Juan Mata just lays it off to the feet of the equally sexy Blind. Bravissimo.

Benteke’s goal was an overhead kick with swerve like I haven’t seen before. Hats off to the Belgian.

Still cautiously excited about Martial but that run was reminiscent of the runs made by a particular player that we all know of.

Herrera Man Of The Match for me.
Abeer, Karachi


Cautiously Happy With That…
An excellent victory, if not the complete performance by Man Utd. Whilst Liverpool were certainly poor, it should be remembered that they do have Coutinho, Sturridge and Henderson to presumably return to the starting eleven and you would have to expect them to improve. Previously Rodgers has tended to try something a bit maverick when he has visited Old Trafford but he looked well short of ideas and options on this occasion.

So Anthony Martial is obviously the new Thiery Henry, with a bit of Brazilian Ronaldo thrown in with a touch of Van Basten about him etc…in all seriousness though, regardless of how he progresses there is always something wonderful about seeing a beautiful debut goal.

I’m also quite keen on the apparent playground rules of whoever wins the penalty takes the penalty. Do Man Utd have a regular spot-kicker anymore? At least it makes it difficult to plan against I suppose.
Matt, Manchester


Just To Clarify
Martial > Memphis > Ronaldo > Messi > Best > Charlton


United: The Worst Chants In The World?
Whilst watching the Man United v Liverpool tussle yesterday and following Herrera’s peach of a penalty, the subsequent celebrations (“An-der Her-re-ra! An-der Her-re-ra!”) brought to mind the general awfulness of the chants sung by Manchester United fans.

Broadly speaking football chants are hardly the domain of poet laureates, but no other club appears to embrace the ball-achingly banal chant quite like United fans. Whether it be the painfully obvious (“U-ni-ted!”), the gleefully simple (“Rooooooo-ney!”) or the uselessly instructive (the immortal “Attack! Attack! Attack, attack, attack!”), the fans’ thirst for atrociously unoriginal mononymous chants seems to know no bounds.

I suppose it could be argued that with such a large global fanbase, many of whom don’t speak English as their first language (or perhaps at all), this approach allows more fans to get involved in their supporting of their club on a base level, but I suspect that this is just a happy coincidence.

Is there a team with less inspiring chants than Manchester United?


Here’s An Apology From A United Fan
I was at the game today at while lots of people will talk about the wonder goals, De Gea and Rodgers, I would like to discuss the singing/chanting of our fans where we spent more time being unpleasant people than we did supporting our team.

Singing ‘You’ll Never Get a Job’ is an outdated chant from the Thatcher era (especially as statistically long-term unemployment is actually falling in Merseyside) and will surely have no bearing on the performance of any United or Liverpool players.

Chanting ‘City Reject’ at James Milner is once again inaccurate since Pellegrini wanted him to stay and he decided to leave City. Maybe next time we should sing ‘Rejected City’ at him, it would probably affect his performance about the same.

The anti-Gerrard chant made an appearance despite him having no affiliation with Liverpool, although if he has a poor game for LA Galaxy this weekend maybe this is why.

The ‘murderers’ and ‘The Sun was right’ chants are false, disgusting and make me ashamed to be a United fan – especially as one of the people doing this was an eight-year-old boy there with his dad. Then, despite accusing Liverpool fans of murder we sing a song about burning Scousers on a bonfire, which isn’t as acceptable an activity as it was in the 15th century.

Anyway for what it is worth on behalf of one United fan: apologies to any Liverpool fan or anyone else who heard the chants, and if anyone can justify them (without using the word banter) please let me know.
Mark in Manchester


And Finally
Kevin De Bruyne on FIFA 15 looks exactly like Kevin De Bruyne on television. Both look like animations.

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