Laura Woods ‘substitution’ makes headlines as Sun seeks boob clicks

Never mind the football, The Sun have crowbarred Laura Woods into seven Euro 2024 headlines already with the tease of boobs.
Into the Woods
ITV presenter Laura Woods is a) very good at her job and, most importantly to The Sun at least, b) very attractive (unless you are one of those incredibly oi-oi-oi men on Twitter/X who proclaim she is ‘mid’ because that makes their penises instantly bigger).
Which is why you get this barrage of stories…
‘Laura Woods bravely shows off scar after horror injury as ITV Euro 2024 presenter hangs out with Scotland fans in Munich’ – June 14.
‘Laura Woods hailed as ‘the one’ as she stuns in smart outfit for Germany vs Scotland opener at Euro 2024’ – June 14.
‘Laura Woods announces major award for Ally McCoist live on TV before Roy Keane gives brutal response’ – June 15
‘Laura Woods wears bold outfit on ITV Euro 2024 coverage as she looks stunning in plunging top’ – June 16.
(Code for ‘you might see a glimpse of boob’).
‘Watch as ‘Albanian Laura Woods’ goes wild in stands at Euro 2024 after fastest goal in tournament history’ – June 16.
‘Laura Woods stuns in bold outfit on ITV Euro 2024 coverage as fans call her ‘one of the best in the game’ – June 17.
(‘You might see a glimpse of boob’ again. Probably not though).
‘Fans all switch over to ITV as Euro 2024 host is ‘substituted’ for Laura Woods in ‘seamless’ transition’ – June 17.
It’s this last headline which has hauled in Mediawatch, suggesting as it does that Woods has been drafted in as a ‘substitute’ (which implies that somebody has been hauled off) and that fans have all ‘switched over’ to ITV as a consequence.
FOOTBALL fans have all made sure to turn on ITV, and it’s not just to watch France take on Austria.
ITV made a “seamless” substitution during their Euro 2024 coverage on Monday evening as they switched hosts between their two televised games.
Ah, so the fans have not ‘switched over to ITV’ because they were already on sodding ITV. And the ‘substitution’ was just an entirely planned change of host. Because having the same host for six hours of live television is pretty much unprecedented.
No substitution. No switch. No story.
Unless of course you’re fully committed to the Laura Woods narrative/possible boob clicks.
MORE ON EURO 2024 FROM F365:
👉 Top 10 England scapegoats for their now sadly inevitable Euro 2024 failure
👉 Man Utd shown what Ralf Rangnick can do in Euro 2024 game of the tournament
For whom the Bell tolls
Jude Bellingham was excellent on Sunday night but two days after the Mail gave him 8/10 for his performance (one whole point more than Declan Rice, Bukayo Saka and Kyle Walker), we are treated to this from a very giddy Oliver Holt:
The Real Madrid midfielder had ridden a hype train into this European Championship and yet his performance against the Serbs was still so good that it had the power to startle.
England did not excel in Gelsenkirchen but Bellingham excelled. He ran the show. He was England’s best midfielder and England’s best attacker. His defensive work wasn’t too shabby, either. And his winning goal, a thundering first-half header, was brave and determined.
Does that sound like the performance of a player who did not create a single chance against Serbia and had one attempt on goal? He was definitely England’s best player (though some suggest otherwise) but ‘the power to startle’? Really?
There were times, in the first half in particular, when it felt as if he were dismantling Serbia on his own…
Sorry but no. Did you see Bukayo Saka? He was the fella on the right who sent the Serb wing-back scuttling off after 42 minutes.
Holt admits that Bellingham faded in the second half along with the rest of the England team, but not before he compared him at length to Wayne Rooney v France in Euro 2004. Interestingly, the BBC awarded Rooney 8/10 for that seminal performance.
There was an episode, deep into the second half, when he was faced by substitute Ivan Ilic on the Serbia goal-line at the edge of the area. Bellingham twisted him one way and then the other. He toyed with him and when he had sold him a second time, he clipped a cross into the box that was begging to be finished off before the goalkeeper claimed it.
Come on Oliver, it was literally lobbed into the keeper’s hands.
Again, we’re not here to denigrate Bellingham (we gushed about him in 16 Conclusions) but nor can we take this level of nauseating coverage.
He’s not Superman. He’s not Jesus. And neither was Wayne Rooney.
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Elsewhere in the Mail, Ian Ladyman says that changes have to be made after *checks notes* a 1-0 win over Serbia in the opening game.
England must rearrange the furniture in their starting XI after nervy win over Serbia, writes IAN LADYMAN… Trent Alexander-Arnold needs to be stood down from central midfield role
‘Must’ they? They did win.
Ladyman describes ‘a bits and pieces performance from Trent Alexander-Arnold that left questions over his suitability for a central midfield role hanging in the air once again’ and writes that ‘one would like to think that the Alexander-Arnold experiment is now over for the time being’.
Experiment? He’s started in that position six times over the last 12 months. You don’t have to like it but you really should have got used to it by now.
If England are to win this tournament they will need a platform on which their array of attacking talent can play.
On Sunday night, that platform fell away like rusty scaffolding in a storm once Serbia found the confidence to grow in to the contest. Alexander-Arnold made way for Conor Gallagher with 20 minutes to go and that pretty much said everything.
It said that England initially played quite well and then Gareth Southgate made a substitution when things started to go awry. That’s kind of how football substitutions work.
Buried at the root of the debate, however, is a single inarguable tenet of tournament play. Defensive solidity – and in particular clean sheets – wins championships such as these.
Remind us again what score it was in Gelsenkirchen. And England somehow managed to keep a clean sheet despite Serbia having one whole shot on target.