Let’s all pretend Arsenal could refuse Liverpool ‘guard of honour’…
There’s quite an odd fascination with which teams will give Liverpool a guard of honour and whether it will happen…
Scouse maths
‘LIVERPOOL fans have worked out that Chelsea will likely give them a guard of honour, should their side clinch the title this Sunday,’ write The Sun.
How did they ‘work out’ such complex calculations? Was it by, and this is just a guess, looking at the fixture list?
And all Liverpool fans should be ecstatic because of course ‘Steven Gerrard humiliation in line to be avenged a decade on’. Thank f*** all that ‘slip’ talk can finally be forgotten because a set of entirely different footballers will have to clap some other entirely different footballers onto a pitch.
Changing of the guard
After Chelsea, Liverpool will next face Arsenal, and we will be forced to read interminable nonsense about whether the Gunners will do the thing that they will absolutely definitely do.
Thankfully Mikel Arteta and his players will be prepared for such a humiliation because…
‘Sir Alex Ferguson’s advice for Arsenal and Mikel Arteta ahead of Liverpool guard of honour’
At this juncture, you absolutely know that Sir Alex Ferguson has not given any ‘advice’ ahead of this entirely innocuous event. That would be really f***ing weird.
But presumably he has previously spoken about giving a guard of honour as runners-up and that can be finagled by an intrepid young Sports Brand Writer into ‘advice’?
Also no.
What the Mirror do have are quotes from Brendan Rodgers from 2021 about the time – in 2005! – when United gave Chelsea a guard of honour.
Rodgers said: “I can never forget when I was at Chelsea as a young coach and, in that first season that Jose was in, they won the title. I remember going to Old Trafford to watch the game that evening and I’m sure the Man United players didn’t want to do it but I’m sure Fergie insisted they did it.
“That must have been really, really difficult but it showed you the class of Sir Alex and it showed you the humility of him that another competitor came in and took the title, but it was also sporting that they did that, but also can provide you with great motivation going forward.”
We can probably guess that Sir Alex Ferguson would advise that Arsenal give a guard of honour. As would every single other person in football. And also the world.
But what we don’t have is any semblance of ‘advice’. To Mikel Arteta or indeed anybody else.
READ: Arsenal have 18-point Premier League regret but £32.5m January calls pay off handsomely
Will they, won’t they? (They will)
There is obviously a rich vein of ‘guard of honour’ traffic that has come as something of a surprise to Mediawatch, which is presumably why we will never make it as a Sports Brand Writer.
‘Liverpool Guard of Honour: Will Arsenal and Chelsea line up to show respect to champions?’ spews the Mirror, who claim: ‘After playing Spurs at Anfield this weekend, Liverpool will have four matches left to play, with all eyes on whether the Guard of Honour tradition will be upheld.’
Yes, we can barely contain our excitement as we prepare to discover ‘whether the Guard of Honour tradition will be upheld’.
Clue: The Guard of Honour tradition has always been upheld in the Premier League. Without exception. You would look a right set of c***s if you didn’t.
Guard of dishonour
Over at the Liverpool Echo: ‘Mikel Arteta makes Liverpool admission as Arsenal guard of honour prospect emerges – ‘all we can do”
The idea that the ‘Arsenal guard of honour prospect’ has ’emerged’ is utterly ludicrous. It was always a possibility because of the actual fixture list. Which has not recently ’emerged’.
Has Arteta said anything about said ‘guard of honour’? Has he balls. Again, that would be weird.
What has actually happened here is that the Arsenal manager has quite rightly and reasonably said that “all we (Arsenal) can do” is delay the inevitable. And we’re pretty sure his power does not extend to making Tottenham magically and suddenly competent.
Understatement of the day
‘Liverpool are so close to the Premier League title, they can start to feel it,’ say Sky Sports.
‘Start to feel it’? All they have to do is not lose all five of their remaining Premier League matches, and for Arsenal to win all four of theirs.
Oooh, will they do it? Tune in to Sky Sports to find out.