What Liverpool can teach David De Gea and more Mediawatch…

Date published: Monday 20th July 2020 12:06


David De Gea is trending so crowbar him in everywhere with Liverpool and Jose Mourinho…


A long, long time ago…
It’s now like the wild west out there – with slumping ad revenues and dwindling newspaper sales, media companies want (nay, need) clicks and they want (nay, need) them now. There are no longer any rules.

Mediawatch has noted a growing trend for taking old quotes and delivering them as new news; scan down the paragraphs and it becomes clear that these quotes were said months ago, or written years ago in an old autobiography.

But it seems you no longer even have to admit they are old quotes; just deliver them as new ones and watch the clicks come a-rolling in.

‘Jose Mourinho says David de Gea errors prove he was ‘lucky’ to land huge Man Utd deal’ – Mirror. It’s one of their biggest stories this Monday morning and it’s little wonder; those are great quotes.

It begins: ‘David de Gea’s errors this season have shown he was “lucky” to land a bumper Manchester United contract last year, says Jose Mourinho.’

Now quite how Mourinho was in a position to comment on ‘David de Gea’s errors this season’ way back in September 2019 is a mystery. And yes, the Mirror did report on those quotes back then too.

And of course, where one leads, everybody else must follow…

‘Did Jose see it coming? Ex-Manchester United boss Mourinho claimed David de Gea was ‘lucky’ to sign a new deal last year after an error-strewn season’ – MailOnline.

‘Jose Mourinho slams Man Utd for giving ‘lucky’ De Gea a new £375k-a-week deal while he had no other transfer offers’ – The Sun online.

At least the Mail had the self-respect to use the past tense; we give them 2/10.


Fountains of Wayne
‘Man Utd boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has next Wayne Rooney after Chelsea FA Cup defeat’ is the hot take on the Daily Express website.

They have a new potential record goalscorer?

Oh, you mean David De Gea, don’t you? Because he’s gone a bit rubbish just like Rooney went a bit rubbish.

It’s a take.


Chain reaction
‘Harry Maguire’s reaction to David De Gea’s shocking error against Chelsea’ is a headline that – even from the Metro – suggests that you have some quotes from Harry Maguire.

So what was Maguire’s ‘reaction’?

‘Maguire could barely contain his reaction, as the United captain was seen with his hands over his face in disbelief at the mistake.’

Yes, the entire story is based on an image of Manchester United captain Maguire with his hands over his face after Manchester United had conceded a goal. How the f*** did you expect him to ‘react’?


It’s all about those Reds
When something is trending, you know who will be along any minute…

‘Reason for Liverpool’s title success is about to become clear, and David de Gea should take note’ – Liverpool.com

If only De Gea had realised that he needed ‘excellence in every department’ to be a better goalkeeper. Take note indeed.


Explain away
‘Ole Gunnar Solskjaer explains why Manchester United lost to Chelsea’ – Manchester Evening News.

Sorry, but “it didn’t work today” does not count as an ‘explanation’; we could have told you that from looking at the sodding scoreline.


Price of admission
‘Ole Gunnar Solskjaer admits his Man Utd team selection in FA Cup defeat to Chelsea ‘didn’t work’ – Sky Sports.

Sorry, but “it didn’t work today” does not count as an ‘admission’; we could have told you that from looking at the sodding scoreline.


’11am Man Utd transfer news LIVE: Sancho deal ‘nearly done’ LATEST, Greenwood signs £40k-a-week new deal, Sarr linked’ – The Sun online.

Quote marks around ‘nearly done’, is it?

Anybody actually saying it’s ‘nearly done’? Are they f***.

Why? Because it’s not.


Mystery machine
Elsewhere on The Sun website:

‘Jadon Sancho enjoys Ibiza break with mystery woman on a yacht as he takes mind off Man Utd transfer talk’

Couple of things:

a) lovely shoehorn.

b) she’s not a ‘mystery woman’; you just don’t know her name because she was wearing a bikini and obviously the tag had fallen off.


Hey Jude!
In case you missed it, it turns out that Manchester United not signing Jude Bellingham is actually excellent news. Or at least according to Manchester United cheerleader Jack Otway of the Express website.

‘Man Utd missing out on Jude Bellingham benefits three Ole Gunnar Solskjaer wonderkids’

Wonderkids? James Garner and Dylan Levitt are 19 years old and have played eight minutes of Premier League football between them this season; Manchester United signing Jude Bellingham would have been just about the least of their worries.


Tip-top condition
Credit to the Mirror for not pretending that Jadon Sancho is about to join Manchester United with the headline on their LIVE blog:

‘Transfer news LIVE: Arsenal given Aubameyang hope as United tipped to make Ake swoop’

‘Tipped’ by former Spurs defender Gary Stevens. And he should know.


F365 Shithouse headline of the day
‘Ole tipped to make ‘huge decision’ over ‘lopsided’ Man Utd man’

‘Tipped’ by Mark Bosnich. And he really should know.


Recommended reading of the day
Donald McRae talks to Michael Emenalo

Julian Bennetts on how Arsenal outplayed Man City


Recommended watching of the day

More Related Articles