Liverpool journalism in the gutter from the Mail as Arsenal ‘headache’ kicks in

Editor F365
Klopp Jones Liverpool

The Mail opt for an incendiary Liverpool headline while too much is made of some potential Arsenal ins and outs.

 

Give us a clue
The concept of online fans ‘spotting clues’ like an army of incel detectives has become an extremely powerful tool in online churnalism in recent years.

It’s not just football; in the last week alone we have seen ‘Love Island fans spot ‘clue’ Ciaran’s mum is not a fan of Nicole’ (The Sun), ‘BBC EastEnders fans predict dark Sonia Fowler twist as they spot ‘huge clue” (OK) and ‘Taylor Swift fans spot major clue she’ll make an announcement at final London show’ (Mirror).

And now, according to The Sun, ‘Man Utd fans convinced star is staying after spotting clue in kit launch despite him being linked with transfer exit’.

If it’s a ‘clue’ and they’ve ‘spotted’ it then it must have been pretty hidden, or at least cryptic. Like those crosswords your grandma used to do.

It definitely couldn’t be that Aaron Wan-Bissaka literally appears in the kit launch, could it?

Oh.

 

I have a dream…
Emile Smith Rowe is likely leaving Arsenal for Fulham. So what’s the absolutely rational response to that move if you work for the clicky clicksters at the Mirror?

Arsenal can hand dream shirt number to £42m target as Edu strikes huge agreement

Yes, we imagine Raphinha was sat twiddling his thumbs in Barcelona, patiently waiting for the Arsenal No. 10 shirt to become available. While wearing the No. 11 shirt for Barcelona.

After all, it’s less than a week since we read that ‘Arsenal to deny Raphinha two dream shirt numbers after getting ‘green light’ for £50m deal’.

Can you have TWO dream shirt numbers? At what point do dream shirt numbers just become ‘shirt numbers you once wore’?

And at what point do we all lose our tiny minds and sink into the seas?

 

Pass the paracetamol…
Just two days after the Mirror told us that ‘Jakub Kiwior has reportedly agreed to join Inter Milan with Arsenal closing in on a deal for Bologna defender Riccardo Calafiori’, they bring us another update:

Arsenal star ‘ready’ for transfer exit which could leave Mikel Arteta with headache

He probably is ‘ready’, yes; indeed, he might wonder why the deal hasn’t quite happened yet as he ‘agreed’ to leave two days ago. Though the Mirror have now said that Inter are ‘currently not interested’, which is odd as he ‘agreed’ to go there. It’s almost that it’s all absolute shite.

Now Juventus are being linked and what a blow to Arsenal this would be, leaving Arteta with a real ‘headache’ without the man who started 10 Premier League games at left-back last season.

A move to Juventus would see the Poland international reunite with his former manager at Spezia, Thiago Motta. Kiwior’s departure could, however, leave Arteta with a headache at left-back.

Timber has only recently returned from a long-term layoff, Tomiyasu is nursing a knee injury which could sideline him for the entirety of pre-season, and Zinchenko has interest from Bayern. Tierney is also expected to leave the Emirates before deadline day on August 30 after spending last term on loan at Real Sociedad.

Timber returned two months ago from a long-term lay-off and Riccardo Calafiori is on his way; if Arsenal are left with only three potential left-backs when Tomiyasu returns, we suspect they will cope without their fourth-choice option.

What is this obsession with whether Arsenal have enough left-backs?

 

Me and Mr Jones…
Curtis Jones undoubtedly made it clear that he is loving life under Arne Slot. But what he didn’t do is…

 

Express delivery
‘Liverpool have star ‘better than Jude Bellingham’ but FSG risk losing him for nothing’ is a wonderful piece of nonsense from the Express, who have liberally used those quote marks around ‘better than Bellingham’ as if, well, they are quoting somebody.

What has actually happened is that Diogo Jota has taken part in a blind ranking with Goal and put Bellingham (3) below Trent Alexander-Arnold (2).

What’s pertinent here is that Jota then put himself above both of them. Almost like it’s just a big old laugh and not to actually be taken seriously.

And definitely not being used to tease that Liverpool have an amazing young midfielder who is being lost for nothing because FSG have been negligent. Because you absolutely know that was the logic behind that headline.

But that’s nothing compared to this:

Liverpool transfer plans leaked by Wataru Endo as star gives away Mohamed Salah plot

First, there’s absolutely f*** all chance that Endo would even know any ‘Liverpool transfer plans’ to ‘leak’ them.

But still, don’t let that get in the way of claiming that ‘Endo might face awkward talks with club bosses after appearing to reveal that Mohamed Salah will leave this summer or next summer’.

Yes, it’s going to get real awkward when Liverpool find out that Endo has said that “the search for a replacement for Mohamed Salah has begun”.

Because it’s definitely a secret ‘Mohamed Salah plot’ that Liverpool will have to replace a 32-year-old whose contract expires next summer.

Apparently he ‘has now ramped up speculation that Liverpool’s top Premier League scorer could depart in this transfer window’.

Genuinely. Has he f***.

Mediawatch