How did Liverpool pull off ‘remarkable second-half fightback’?

Captain Fantastic
The Liverpool fans at This Is Anfield gave him 6/10 and noted that ‘the captain misplaced a few passes and was guilty of going aimlessly long too often, which Fulham’s defenders lapped up’.

The Liverpool fans at The Anfield Wrap game him 6.5/10 and wrote that ‘he did alright at centre back but needs to remember to play it rather than launch it. Should do better when through against the keeper, like score’.

And the Liverpool fans at the Liverpool Echo gave him 6/10 and stated that he ‘put in a solid stint but any efforts to inject tempo were futile in first half’.

So of course Jordan Henderson – who launched 16 long balls and found a teammate seven times – is in Garth Crooks’ BBC team of the week.

‘No Jordan Henderson in this side and Liverpool lose this game,’ writes Crooks. High praise indeed.

Remarkable
Talking of high praise, the Daily Mirror’s John Cross managed to describe champions Liverpool’s draw at relegation-threatened Fulham – via a fortuitous penalty – as a ‘remarkable second-half fightback’.

Yes. It’s right up there with this.

How did they do it?
And how did Liverpool pull off this ‘remarkable second-half fightback’? To the Mirror website we go to discover how ‘Jordan Henderson details Jurgen Klopp’s half-time team talk as Liverpool rescue point at Fulham’.

It must have been a belter.

‘Jordan Henderson and his Liverpool team-mates were asked to begin the second-half like they finished the second by Jurgen Klopp.’

Oh.

Twist and shout
How do you make an injury to Joel Matip sound like a transfer story?

‘Fabinho situation takes new twist but Liverpool can solve problem with January transfer’ – Liverpool Echo.

Can another man’s injury really be a ‘new twist’ in the ‘Fabinho situation’? Well it can if you want to crowbar ‘Liverpool’, ‘Fabinho’ and ‘transfers’ into a click-hungry slug…

Shock tactics
‘MANCHESTER UNITED are set to launch a fresh bid for Christian Eriksen – and are hoping to tempt Tottenham chief Daniel Levy into a quick sale with a £42million bid’ – November 2019, The Sun.

‘MANCHESTER UNITED United are reportedly prepared to wait until the summer to sign Christian Eriksen on a free transfer’ – December 2019, The Sun.

‘MANCHESTER UNITED are set to step up their interest in Christian Eriksen and could even try for a January transfer’ – December 2019, The Sun.

‘MANCHESTER UNITED have joined Arsenal in the transfer chase for Christian Eriksen, according to reports’ – November 2020, The Sun.

So quite why The Sun‘s Daniel Cutts is not only claiming an ‘exclusive’ that ‘MANCHESTER UNITED are interested in a shock swoop for Christian Eriksen – with Inter Milan looking to offload him just 11-months after joining’ but also claiming it is a ‘shock swoop’ is a bona fide mystery.

He must be incredibly easily shocked. If only he found hyphens so simple.

Love and understanding
Our favourite line in that Cutts exclusive/rehash of all the things ever written about Manchester United and Christian Eriksen is this one:

‘SunSport understands Inter would be willing to offload Eriksen, but would be looking for a transfer fee of around £27m.’

Does SunSport ‘understand’ because SunSport reported that exact story from Tuttosport last month?

Rhubarb and Custis
Neil Custis, The Sun, November 23, with Manchester United in tenth place and seven points off the leaders, leaving them 40/1 shots for the title:

‘Yet this title is there to be won. Yes, even for Manchester United.’

Neil Custis, The Sun, December 14, with Manchester United in eighth place and five points off the leaders, leaving them 18/1 shots for the title:

‘It could take 30 (years) for United to (win the title) as well.’

Mediawatch presumes it’s as simple as this:

Win (over relegation-bound West Brom) = Good.

Draw (against recent Premier League champions) = Bad.

Write-off
Maybe it’s just because they were forced to sit through a relatively poor game but Manchester correspondents read particularly miserably on Monday morning, with David McDonnell writing in the Mirror:

‘United may have scored more goals than last season at this stage, as Solskjaer was keen to stress, but unless there is a dramatic improvement in their home form, they can forget about a top-four finish and a Champions League return.’

They have the best away form in the Premier League and they are three points adrift of fourth place with a game in hand. Even a very slight improvement in their home form will see them claim a top-four finish, David.

Wag the Pog
Over to the Manchester Evening News now and just ten Paul Pogba headlines since kick-off in the Manchester derby on Saturday. Ten.

Among them are ‘Paul Pogba disrespected Manchester United after Manchester derby’, in which Liam Corless argues that it is ‘not a stretch to say United might still be in the Champions League had Pogba ‘shut his agent up’, as Paul Scholes suggested might be the best course of action, before kick-off in Germany. But he didn’t, and United will resume their continental campaign in the Europa League in the new year’.

It is a massive stretch, Liam. It’s nonsense.

The very next day Corless is back again, telling us that ‘Manchester United know that Roy Keane is right about Paul Pogba’.

And in what way is Keane right about Pogba? What did he say?

“If you think Pogba is going to get United challenging for titles, you’re confirming you’re in cuckoo land. Pogba wants to leave? Let him go and get a few bob in January or the summer, no big deal. If he leaves again Man United will survive, trust me.”

He is right; they will ‘survive’. Which seems like a noble pursuit. And he is also correct that United are unlikely to challenge for titles with Pogba at the club; they have not challenged for the title in seven seasons since Sir Alex Ferguson retired. But is either statement really worthy of a whole new Pogba piece, just hours after the last?

‘There is evidence aplenty that Pogba’s inevitable departure will not have a catastrophic impact and United obviously know that wouldn’t be the case anyway.’

Can you have a ‘catastrophic impact’ on a team performing below its potential anyway? Would it be ‘catastrophic’ to drop back to tenth, for example?

‘Donny van de Beek arrived from Ajax in the summer and some of United’s best performances of the campaign came with the Dutchman in a trio alongside Fred and the talismanic Bruno Fernandes — another player whose influence has lessened Pogba’s importance.’

Pesky fact: Manchester United have started only one game with Van de Beek in a trio alongside Fred and the talismanic Bruno Fernandes.

The truth is that United are occasionally excellent, sometimes sh*t and often something in between. With or without Paul bloody Pogba.