Liverpool’s ‘Google line-up’, Arsenal’s Ziyech excitement and…

A Coward

Kidology
Number of mentions of ‘Klopp’s kids’ in The Sun: Four, including the back-page headline.

Number of mentions of Liverpool’s starting XI having an average age of 24 years and 225 days, hardly eclipsed by Everton’s of 26 years and 338 days: Handily, one. They do make this easy sometimes.

 

Laying it on thick
‘Even for the most ardent follower, this was a Google line-up’ – Andy Dunn, Daily Mirror.

Who was that James Milner fella? Joe Gomez? Is that right? Is it Harry Elliott or Harvey Elliott? Adam Lallana? Never heard of him.

 

Most ambitious exclamation mark of the day!
‘On this form, if Klopp’s squad record an FA Cup final song we should enter it for the Eurovision Song Contest, because it would be the UK’s best chance of winning!’ – Graeme Bryce, The Sun.

 

Trying times
‘As he fell into the hug of Jurgen Klopp, try telling Curtis Jones the magic of this grand, old competition has vanished.

‘As he watched his right-footer fizz down from the crossbar and land euphoria-side of the line, try telling the boy from Toxteth, 18 years of age and with his club for a decade, the FA Cup means little’ – Andy Dunn, Daily Mirror.

‘The magic of the FA Cup is lost, is it? Try telling that to Tranmere’s fans after they came back from 3-0 down to draw 3-3 with a Premier League club’ – Chris Sutton, Daily Mail.

Try telling the media to find a new way of discussing the FA Cup third round after about two decades of trying to tell us to try and tell people the magic has gone.

 

The return of the transfer trail
Try telling anyone that the FA Cup drives as much traffic in January as spurious transfer speculation.

Over at the MailOnline, they have the big scoop.

Arsenal handed boost in pursuit of Hakim Ziyech after ‘Ajax tell midfielder he can leave if £43m price tag is met”

You can tell it’s big when at least half of the headline is in quotation marks.

That, of course, is the tell that this is not their own story. Rather, this comes from ‘Italian outlet CalcioMercato’.

So off we go…

And we land upon a story from January 3, the entirety of which reads: ‘Hakim Ziyech can leave Ajax in January. As they write in England, on the Moroccan offensive outside there is the strong interest of Arsenal. Ziyech’s valuation is 50 million euros.’

How unfortunate that ‘as they write in England’ comes with no link. It must be a simple oversight.

And even after some extensive research, it is impossible to find quite where this claim began. So we get an Italian website quoting English sources for a transfer story, then being themselves quoted three days later by an English website.

Why bother wondering who started the fire when you can just keep stoking it?

 

Football.London’s burning
Football.London get involved, too.

‘Arsenal fans excited by Unai Emery’s transfer hint about Hakim Ziyech amid fresh links’

What is this ‘transfer hint’ from sacked manager Unai Emery that has Arsenal fans ‘excited’?

‘Arsenal have been linked with a move for Ajax midfielder Hakim Ziyech, but fans previously spotted a transfer hint from former head coach Unai Emery.’

Go on…

‘In the summer, former Gunners boss Emery got Arsenal fans talking by ‘liking’ a tweet urging the Spaniard to sign Ziyech.’

‘Although the tweet was quickly removed from Emery’s ‘likes’, Arsenal fans were quick to notice and took a screenshot for evidence, before sharing it on social media for other fans to see.

‘Whether or not it was a slip of a finger from the ex-Arsenal head coach, or a hint at the club’s long term ambitions of landing the Moroccan international, it didn’t stop some fans sharing their excitement on social media.’

Yes. Last summer. Literally none of the tweets you used are recent. Arsenal fans were ‘excited’ about it five months or so ago.

Manager sacked in December ‘liked’ a Tweet in July to ‘hint’ at January transfer? Sure.

 

Tears for fears
‘Jose Mourinho fears Spurs will struggle as they do not have the players to cover for crocked striker Harry Kane’ – The Sun.

‘Jose Mourinho started Harry Kane in five consecutive Premier League games across 17 days, not substituting him in any of the first four before seeing him surprisingly suffer a hamstring injury in the 75th minute of the fifth’ – Mediawatch.

“You cannot transform Lucas or Son into a No9 like Harry Kane. So we have to try other things and that is what we are going to do. It’s a new thing for the team to play without Harry, without a striker” – Jose Mourinho.

‘He’s missed about a month or two of each of the past three seasons with strains or hamstring injuries because managers play him constantly then complain when he gets injured’ – Mediawatch.

“We tried to give them the mobility of Son and Lucas but it was not easy. We played with six attacking players without a striker. We have what we have and we stick with them. The boys did what they can” – Jose Mourinho.

‘Troy Parrott exists and remained on the bench throughout a game in which you only used two substitutes’ – Mediawatch.

And as for the claim that “it’s a new thing for the team to play without Harry, without a striker”: Tottenham scored 24 goals in the 14 Champions and Premier League games Kane missed last season, beating Dortmund 3-0, Ajax 3-2 and Leicester 3-1.

How does Kane being injured make you keep one clean sheet in 12 games?

 

Spurred on
At least Tottenham only have a maximum of seven matches to play in January. Spare a thought for Manchester United and their ‘crazy fixture list’ this month.

talkSPORT shed a light on how drawing with Wolves was ‘a nightmare result for the club’. And no, not because they failed to manage a single shot on target.

Instead, ‘they’ll have to face Wolves again in a replay on January 14, meaning Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s men could play up to EIGHT games this month’.

Good lord. Someone call the authorities. Seven is fine, manageable. But eightEIGHT? Even though that includes a replay the schedule is actually designed to accommodate? How will they cope?

Liverpool, who played nine games in December, winning eight and only losing the one in which they fielded an entire team of youngsters (not with an average age of 24), extend their deepest sympathies.