Mailbox prediction: ‘Liverpool collapse to linger’

Date published: Monday 25th May 2020 8:43 - Matthew Stead

Mohamed Salah Liverpool

Thank you for your mails. Have a great day but mail us at

Let’s talk about next season
With all of the tedious debate around ‘Project Restart’ boring everybody to tears, I cant be the only reader looking ahead to next season? Please find my predictions below:

Chelsea to go from strength to strength – Frank Lampard was able to negotiate an incredibly difficult situation with aplomb last season. Next season the players will have had a year to familiarise themselves with his methods. Abraham, Pulisic, Mount, James, Gilmour and the rest all now have Premier League experience under their belts. Ziyech is coming in along with, current circumstances permitting, money in the bank for further signings. Top four should be achieved comfortably.

Manchester Utd to carry their impressive form over and mount a title challenge – Things are looking pretty rosy at Utd. Fernandes has lit up the place, Fred has established himself as one of the finest midfielders in the league and should form a formidable partnership with Mctominay. The defence is rock solid. The one negative is Pogba’s situation not being resolved. A swap deal with any two of Ramsey/Bernadeschi/Dybala? Sounds like a great deal for all concerned to me.

Liverpool’s collapse to linger into next season – Liverpool had well and truly been found out when Covid 19 gripped the world. I wrote in to the mailbox midway through last season expressing my astonishment that Klopp’s one-dimensional tactics had yet to be deciphered. Well it seems that Chelsea, Atletico and Watford got the memo. The front three will all be a year older, with at least two of them rumoured to want a new challenge in Spain, the midfield still doesn’t have a creative bone in its collective body and Van Dijk looked thoroughly shakey in the aformentioned games. A shake-up is needed, but is the squad going to get one in the current climate considering the 500m+ investment that has already been made?

North London’s decline to continue – Mourinho won’t last until Xmas. The atmosphere is already toxic at Spurs, confidence is shot and the squad is unbalanced. Seb may say otherwise but Lo Celso is no replacement for Eriksen. They miss Eriksen, and Poch, badly. As for Arsenal, Arteta has done everything right but he finds himself a victim of shambolic circumstances. Aubameyang is a goner, Lacazette isn’t far behind and the squad is filled with overpaid rubbish that they cant shift out. Arteta needs years to make Arsenal competitive again, will the club’s supporters give him that time or will they turn on him?

That’s enough from Ken, I’d love to see other readers’ predictions?

For the vast majority of us, next season can’t come soon enough.
Ken, Wisconsin


Fanmail for Eamonn
OK, I’ve not gotten involved in this ongoing kerfuffle, but this is just getting stupid now. Let’s break this down…

‘I’m sorry for suggesting the greatest team from the purest club in the history of football might have a terrible run of games.’ Low self esteem is often characterised by people using superlatives a lot. What’s happened to you in your life Eamonn? Why you gotta be like this?

‘I’m sorry for even contemplating that they could drop points away in their city derby against a team managed by Carlo Ancelotti in the game that immediately followed them meekly surrendering their European crown against the team sitting 6th in Spain.’ Nice use of adjectives here sir. Almost like the team 6th in Spain have given up on the league and want to focus on the CL instead. We actually played well for 90 minutes, we did, however, got somewhat complacent in ET to think that we would go through after finally taking the lead. It’s a psychological thing innit? Much like how Everton have a psychological block against us, they tend to play terribly against us in the derby, hence no wins against us for approx 247 games. For the record, they are much improved with Carlo, but to just assume they’d win is fairly incorrect.

‘I’m sorry for considering the possibility that even if that did somehow happen, that result and the one that preceded it might affect them mentally against Manchester City.’ This team has a habit of getting back up and bouncing back after setbacks. Runners up in the CL? Win it next year. Lose the PL by a point? Come back stronger and establish a 25 point lead against one of the best teams ever to grace the PL.

‘It was also deeply offensive of me to think Manchester City might be able to win ten in a row. I mean, City finished last season winning 14 in a row but to suggest 10 in a row could happen with their best centre back returned from injury and possibly smelling blood with having beaten Liverpool as well, was completely ridiculous. Again, really sorry for implying that.’ This is where you’re really starting to fall down on yourself. You’re using this seasons form as a stick to beat us, but using last seasons form for other teams to make a point. You cant switch between one year and another when it suits you, you’re being as consistent as a VAR decision. Also worth nothing that yes, City won ten in a row. We won nine.

I could go on, but I think I’ve made my (counter)point. You’ve offered about as much insight as Eamonn Holmes on 5G.
Sam, LFC, North Yorks


…Thank you for your apology, even if it was in the tone of an Alanis Morissette song. Even in your apology you can’t grasp the absolute ridiculousness of your previous email.

A football team who have lost two games over one and three quarter season could suddenly go on a losing run which contains four home games (a place where Liverpool haven’t lost for over 2 years in the league) isn’t just preposterous it borders on the realm of having someone committed.

Yes City won 14 games in a row last season but didn’t Liverpool just equal the 18 games won in a row and currently have won their last 22 home games. I’ve heard of clutching at straws but if City were currently on a run of 10 wins in a row, I might have one hair standing up. Eamonn’s attempt at a sarky apology is in keeping with his desperation. I do hope they get some straws back in stock in Dublin soon. But I’ll look forward to his reaction when Liverpool win the league.
Scouse the Mouse


…Poor old Eamonn. He just can’t stop digging that hole can he? He’s like a child whose hands and face are covered in the chocolate they constantly deny eating despite been shown video evidence to the contrary.

From one Dub to another you leave me with no choice but to inflict on you the most withering of Dublin put downs…..

Seán, Dublin


…On behalf of all Liverpool fans*, we accept your apology although for what, I don’t know.

You suggested Liverpool may not win 6 more points, and substantiated this ascension with spurious statistics. Fellow Liverpool fans pointed out this was ridiculous, with well substituted facts.

No apology is necessary.

Fortunately it appears the season will be played to its conclusion, and no conjecture will be required. I wonder if Liverpool will indeed win the league? We shall see.

* Sadly I only really represent my own viewpoint. Many other Liverpool fans may think you were being and arse deliberately, and therefore feel deserving of an apology however ironic your delivery might be.


…Eamonn there is such a thing as playing too hard to get. You don’t get to write provocateur nonsense and then pen laboured sarcasm in a feigned attempt to come off as some misunderstood philosopher of the league table.

Your argument is still – as ever – that Liverpool literally might not have won the league (and still might not). Yes. That’s literally possible. Congratulations. From their position and current points advantage, however, that’s just incredibly unlikely. I gather you both don’t like data and analytics but also do like referring to largely irrelevant trends about a City team’s form from a previous season—or “data” to use another word for it—but statistical models put Liverpool winning the title at 99 percent. It’s weird, frankly, that it seems controversial for you to admit that. Further it’s weird that to emphasize the 99 percent probability and not the 1 percent City Chaos Bonanza scenario is some great intellectual failing on behalf of anybody writing into the mailbox. But whatever. I truly hope your posture as “the last sane man left” who won’t just concede the title to Liverpool is working out for you outside the mailbox. Nobody is asking you to pay a debt of gratitude to the greatest purest bestest team ever. In fact, nobody said that in response to you at all. All anybody said is “look at the scoreboard” and all you’ve said in reply is, “yeah but it could be different if a dozen or so contingent things happened simultaneously and then subsequently.” Sure, I guess?

Incidentally—but pursuant to this line of reason—it must be a nightmare for you to go shopping because there’s a 99 percent chance that there’s milk in every milk carton but what if – just hear me out for a second – there wasn’t? Wouldn’t you just be a fool to buy milk thinking there’s milk in it? And everybody is just begging us all to lay down and praise the dairy lobby and we shouldn’t! After all, corporations are getting away with so much these days and…(etc.)
De Selby


…I know this mail may not be published since it is not controversial enough or doesn’t involve any moral outrage regarding ‘lives and deaths’


Good lord Eamonn really is clutching at straws isn’t he?

He’s so unbelievably thick that it almost makes me think he has to be a Man Utd/Everton fan.

First off, Everton are not exactly in the finest of forms if you hadn’t noticed. So, Ancelotti or no Ancelotti, there was a significant chance of them losing to Liverpool.

And the rest of the teams… well I don’t even wanna dignify your mental gymnastics with a response. (Although I just did through this email. Damn, you got me)

Anyway, the real reason I am writing this email is to compare the competence of the Bundesliga (synonymous with the German Govt) with the incompetence of the EPL (synonymous with the Brexit Govt).

To combat the stupid complaints of some fans about lack of crowd and football being boring without crowds, this weekend Wolfsburg induced artificial crowd noises and Monchengladbach played in front of 13,000 fake fans.

Tacky though it might seem, at least ze Germans have tried to make the best of a bad situation by at least RESUMING football (being the first major European league to do so).

Heck, even La liga has a set date for their return despite being a corrupt and useless organisation.

EPL, on the other hand, are still acting like the biggest clowns on the planet (which they are).

Either ways, and I know this has been discussed before but since the title is all but done, can’t we just have a playoff style festive end to the damn season by involving only the teams between fourth and eighth AND the bottom four teams?

Help me out here.
Sojan (Kerala, India)


Mailbox Fight Club?
Reading the mailbox lately, particularly Sunday’s one, has been a bit like getting a lesson in how to be sardonic and snide, and that got me thinking..

Wouldn’t it be brilliant if you could stick 12 of the most fervent mailboxers in a room together as a reality TV show where a certain amount have to agree on a certain football topic in order to leave? Like 12 Angry Men. A topic that involves some thought, not just who was the best Premier League team, but something like Project Restart or the Newcastle takeover. I’d really watch that. Imagine how many “I don’t think so and so understands”, “correct me if I’m wrong” or (my personal favourite) “I’m sorry to have to have to disagree with you there” there’d be. And to spice things up you can bet on things, like who will change their mind first and who will shout the loudest or who will stand at the door saying “this isn’t fun anymore, I want to go home now please”. Think of all the different accents (I’m assuming) and ages (I’m assuming) and locales (I’m assuming) to add the diversity.

Just a Sunday thought.
James, Galway


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