Man Utd are a billionaire’s son who has lost his way…

Date published: Tuesday 13th October 2020 2:39

Man Utd can get their sh*t together at any time. Plus, Mourinho vs Solskjaer, Project Big Picture and lots more...

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Man Utd

Get your mails into…


Man Utd are a billionaire’s son who has lost his way

Brad, an affable guy, is a billionaire’s son who fell in with the wrong crowd at 17 and got hooked on drugs. When he flunked out of university in his second year, his dad found out he was an addict, thus starting his string of stays in overly expensive rehab clinics. Unfailingly though, after every stint in rehab, Brad would seem like a changed man but under some stress he would crack and relapse and so on and so forth.

Lewis is from a working class home. He is an actual genius who got hooked on drugs at 17, in an effort to finally fit in. His family could afford one stint in rehab, but after that, they were powerless to stop his descent into the abyss.

When Brad was 35, his best friend Rita, died from an overdose. Shockingly, the same thing happened to Lewis at the same age! The good news from their respective tragedies was that it inspired both men to quit drugs for good. They both had no degrees or work experience at that point.

It’s 2020 and both men are now 45. One of them went back to school, finished his degree and MBA and how runs a successful multi-billion dollar company. The other has held a steady job (for 7 years) at a large supermarket chain and is being considered for a lower management position. Which of our two heroes do you think got an advanced degree and runs a successful company? The genius or the billionaire’s son?

In our world, money does many things but very crucially, it increases the choices of those who have it and minimizes the consequences of bad decisions. Manchester United is a billionaire’s son who has lost his way. It’s very bad now, he could overdose and die, but if he makes a change at any point, he could live a life almost consequence free with regards to his prospects. Normal people/clubs don’t have that luxury.

Today, next month or next summer, Manchester United could have Pochettino as manager and Van Der Sar as DoF while about to announce the signings of Sancho and Upamecano.  I agree that this scenario is unlikely, but it is more than feasible. As much as everyone talks of how much better run than United Wolves or Leicester are, Pochettino wouldn’t consider them next summer. Neither would Van der Sar. I’m also guessing Rodgers, Nuno and even Ancelotti might jump at the idea of leaving their current sturdy boat for a supposedly sinking ship.

As much as it understandably brings joy to people’s heart to call Utd a mid-table/bottom half club, they aren’t. Not in the way Leicester or West Ham are. Man Utd can get it’s shit together at any time. The means are there. And five years after that, it’ll be like all this never happened. Same thing happened with Liverpool. Having snapped up Klopp, they would have signed Van Dijk and Alisson regardless of the Coutinho transfer. The same way I’m guessing the plan was to propose paying in installments (don’t know how it’s different from the amortization I hear every club does) for Werner close to the end of the window, covid notwithstanding. Too bad Chelsea swooped in early. The difference is, it probably won’t take 30 years because Utd has even more money than Liverpool.
Lawrence, CFC (Cool kids don’t do drugs), Abuja


Mourinho vs Solskjaer

Dear Ed,

Long time reader and admirer of F365, second time mailer (will I maintain a 100% success rate?) The F365 about Mourinho at United being an anomaly was such nonsense.

  1. Man Utd have taken broadly the same number of points as spurs since mourhino took over at spurs. Admittedly, Solskjaer has 1.76 points per game compared to Mourinhos 1.97 points per game while permanent Man United managers. But this isn’t because Mourinho was great, but because solskjaer is totally out of his depth.
  2. Mourinho at Spurs has 1.74 points per game. He’s actually worse than he was at Man United, and you seem to think Man United was the problem. I accept that the two clubs have different profiles, but both were essentially “top 4 challengers” during his management period.
  3. This season, Spurs have 4 points more than Man United, but have played an extra game. They’ve lost to an excellent Everton (weird to say, but fair enough) beaten a woeful Southampton side who had started the season terribly, drawn with Newcastle and thrashed a Man united side having cheated to get a man sent off early in the game. Steady on before you declare that Mourinho, who was only ever good when he could outspend his rivals and buy the best players for every position to fit his system, is still “special”.

Looking forward to being savaged by the esteemed F365 mailbox.
Christian (northern Gooner)


At least the EPL has a plan…

Dear F365,

I’m surprised by your readers’ reaction to “project big picture” (ugh). I expected more of a backlash. Me, I think it’s horrid – concentrating yet more power in the hands of the richest handful of clubs.

(My club, by the way, would be in those “top 9”. But just because Everton would apparently be in the new “directorate”, doesn’t mean I support this power grab.)

I’ll say this in defense of Rick Parry and the EFL and the clubs proposing this, though. At least they have a plan.

It’s a self-serving, bullying plan that will speed up the growing Americanization of the English game. But it’s a plan.

Look around Europe and nobody has a plan. Some very smart clubs like Juventus or Bayern have their own agendas. But at league level, nobody has any ideas on how to confront the impending coronavirus doom. UEFA only cares about keeping the Champions League cash flowing.

Bad as the EPL might be, they to have the courage – well, the brashness, to push forth new ideas. That’s why the Premier League now has such an astounding financial advantage over every other league in Europe. For the last 25 years or so, the EPL has been leading and the others have been following.

This is not necessarily a good thing, because I don’t like where the EPL is leading to. But at least they’re trying something.

Kindest regards,
Ursolin Waxoh


Keep the League Cup but with some tweaks…

Kevin from Nottingham asked if other than fans of Champions League clubs were others in favour of removing the League Cup as suggested in Project Big Picture, well Chelsea are a UCL club, however I am in favour of KEEPING the League Cup, but with some potential tweaks to the format.

Now Manchester City have won the last 4 of 5 League Cups dating back to 2016, which we probably all think is dreadfully boring, but for the broadcasters they would rather see City take on the likes of the Top 6 than the fairy-tale final of two League One sides for example, anyway here is what I would change to make the competition better:

– One Legged Semi-Finals, preferably held at a big name neutral ground like the FA Cup used to do, such as a Villa Park, Old Trafford, St James Park etc
– Champions League Clubs do not enter the competition, if you finish in the Top 4 or qualify through other means such as winning the Europa League etc you do not participate in the following year’s competition, this eliminates the complaints over “fixture congestion” as well as providing a serious opportunity for the not so big teams to lift the trophy, the broadcasters might not be to keen on this idea.
– An alternative to this, as many a League One or Two fan may wish their side play a top 4 team, would be to have a seeded draw, by this any teams in European competition will always be drawn away in the first few rounds, or even all Premier League sides are drawn away.
– Keep the name as the League Cup, instead of the numerous sponsorship name changes it has undergone over the last few years, this point is likely redundant because money always talks.
– League Cup winners get a guaranteed spot in the Europa League Group Stage.

Those are my ideas that came to mind, many may agree, disagree or have even better ideas than those, some may even say keep the League Cup as it is or abolish it similar to what France have done with their Coupe De La Ligue, it would be a shame to lose the competition as I will always remember iconic matches such as the 2010/11 Final where Birmingham shocked Arsenal, the 2012/13 Reading 5-7 Arsenal game and of course Bradford reaching the Final in 2013.
Mikey, CFC



Project Big Picture…

Great letter from Paul McDevitt.

The structure and financing of English football has been defying gravity for too long to withstand this economic onslaught from Covid19. Does anyone honestly believe the interests behind Project Big Picture don’t have a Plan B? I would go further and say that “Plan B is really their “Plan A” which is the Kerry Packer / World Series Cricket blueprint put on steroids.

Global vulture capital circles as the body bags arrive.
Dave Mack


Playoffs for relegation

We tried playoffs before.

Chelsea (my team) lost to Boro (not my team).

Therefore playoff = Bad. (That’s how this partisan stuff works isn’t).
Simon, Woking


Sky cancellation

I ve just cancelled my sky sports and sports extra bt packages. I absolutely love football. It was so important at a time like this. An escape. A port in a storm. But it’s been stolen under the guise of repackaging “extra games” on pay per View. Greedy, out of touch, horrible. I hope more people follow and send a message to the people trying to milk supporters and take advantage of them at a time like this. Absolutely sickening.
Edwin Ambrose 


Shearer’s Newcastle??

Am I missing something here??

Mikey CFC refers to the potential 15/16 play off involving Newcastle as Shearers Newcastle yet Rafa was the manager that took them down. Shearer only took charge for the last few games of the 08/09 season as far as I can remember.

He also references whether Shearer could have kept them up via the play off and then gone on to greater things??

Has Covid fried me completely or has Shearer been nowhere near the St James Park hot seat since that relegation in 2009?.
Ferg, Cork



I’m shamelessly pinching this lookalike observation from Twitter: Mauricio Pochettino and Chris Pontius from the Jackass crew.

Google them both, and I promise you will NOT be disappointed.
DJ, MUFC India



With regards to lookalikes everyone is forgetting the pinnacle which was Gary Neville and Dot Cotton.

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