Mails: Advocaat madness overlooked

Date published: Wednesday 7th October 2015 10:06

In all the madness over Klopp and Rodgers, Advocaat’s shambolic departure has been overlooked…


If you have anything to say on any subject, mail us at


On Advocaat’s departure
Amid the obvious clamour around Klopp or Ancelotti to Liverpool, the resignation of Dick Advocaat and the subsequent managerial vacancy at Sunderland has barely had a mention.

A letter into this mailbox a couple of weeks ago posed the question on whether Sunderland were the worst run team in the league As a lifelong fan I am happy to give the answer…most definitely! For years the club has lurched from one self-imposed crisis to another with the only relief being the now traditional escape from what had seemed certain relegation in the last week or two of the season.

However the last few months has surely seen the club reach a new nadir in its incompetence. All of the last (countless) managerial appointments have been made out of desperation albeit in the short term have proved successful (i.e. avoiding relegation). With Advocaat making a timely announcement on his retirement, for the first time in a number of years the board had the opportunity and time to make a strategic long term appointment not hindered by the need for a quick fix.

Of course Sunderland being Sunderland that opportunity was royally squandered and we were left with the strange outcome of a manager who really wanted to retire being brought back reluctantly for one more year on the proviso he was given a shed load of cash to spend on the players he wanted, even though he wouldn’t be around for more than one year to use them???? And yet someone, somewhere in the higher echelons of Sunderland’s convoluted management structure thought this was a good idea!

So what now? We have Advocaat gone, the director of football Lee Congerton has apparently resigned but is not being allowed to leave until he has worked out his contractual notice period. And to prove that this is a club that cannot learn the simplest lesson, the man who is currently serving his notice is the man being tasked with finding the next bloody manager! Pearson, Allardyce, and Lambert are now the bleeding obvious and uninspired short odds candidates expected to take the reins in another knee jerk appointment. Surely there is at least one person at my beloved club with an ounce of imagination that can look beyond these hackneyed choices. Just down the road at Boro we have Aitor Karanka who has seriously done wonders at that club and would, at least, provide a glimmer of long termism in thinking. I am sure there are other younger hungrier managers out there that would love to have the chance to prove themselves at a club that regularly pulls in 40,000+ passionate punters every game and has an owner prepared fund a pay bill only topped by 7 other clubs in the premiership.

I do not live in hope – I expect the obvious and unimaginative appointment to be made, and as sure as night follows day, we will be back in this Groundhog day scenario within the next twelve months.
MARK – Mackem in London

…I wrote in not long ago mentioning how the failures of Chelsea and Brendan Rodgers deflecting the media spotlight from Sunderland’s piss poor start to the season in a kind of “yeah of course Sunderland are awful, but look at Chelsea!” kind of fashion.

I’m glad to see this is continuing with Rodgers’ sacking completely overshadowing Advocaat having had enough and jumping on the first North Sea ferry back to Holland.

I hope Liverpool delay the appointment of Klopp long enough for nobody to give a shit about our underwhelming links to Allardyce, Dyche and Pearson, with the eventual promotion of our ‘development squad’ coach to caretaker manager totally buried under the fanfare of Klopp’s arrival before West Brom tear us a new one.
Kevin, SAFC, sat in Newcastle


FSG haven’t done much wrong
Following Brendan Rodgers’ sacking on Sunday Thierry Henry (albeit after his magical reaction) went on a mini rant about FSG and how they don’t really care about the club.

How much they care about the club or football is debateable but for me, since they have arrived they’ve not done much wrong decision-wise. Sure there have been some dodgy signings but if you look at how they’ve acted with managers they’ve got it spot on.

They took charge when Roy Hodgson was steering the team to mid-table mediocrity and they saw fit to change him, brought in Kenny who steadied the ship somewhat and then gave the legend money to spend and a season to show what he could do. Unfortunately for Kenny, after winning the Carling Cup, performances started to wane and the team looked very average.

The decision was made, the correct one again, to bring in a young hungry coach who could inspire the squad who had a clear philosophy. For the first two seasons of his tenure, Rodgers’ philosophy was clear to see, with a brand of football both exciting and bringing results which, had it not been for Steven Gerrard’s slip, most likely would have seen number 19.

What followed was sort of inevitable, with ageing players past their peak and the sale of Luis Suarez to Barcelona the team was no longer the same and with the extra burden of Champions League games, the decline began. Rodgers’inexperience cost him, although he did show signs of learning from some of his mistakes. The first nail in the coffin was the 6-1 to Stoke and a cynic may say FSG were already looking for his successor at that point but with Klopp on sabbatical they were willing to bide their time and give Rodgers one more chance.

But following some abysmal performances this season and with Klopp clearly  ready to return to management, FSG acted before any one of Chelsea, Real Madrid or Juventus came knocking on the German’s door. Hiring the best available coach out there is probably the best thing they’ve done so far – lets hope they back him in the transfer market once he shows what he is capable.
Peter Stevenson (LFC) Cyprus


Some Rooney documentary conclusions
– Had a bit of a ‘they’re here! Everyone! ACT. NORMAL.’ to it, didn’t it? Like watching an OK! Magazine come to life.

– Those rotating mannequins in Rooney’s in-house Rooney museum, where to start? There’s probably a joke about putting one of those in the first Man Utd XI and it having more movement to be had there.

– Disappointing to see a lot of the performances and goals from the peak Rooney years now. I suppose given his career could quite easily have gone the same way Paul Gascoigne’s did, he’s done pretty well all things considered.

– That Newcastle volley – it had everything. Amazing goal, annoyed Graeme Souness – the big two.

– Sven’s new (lack of) do was a little bit unnerving, wasn’t it? Always half felt like he would be about 60 forever and never age – hello brave new world.

– You have to admire Cristiano Ronaldo’s attitude about 2006’s wink-gate. He just does not give one solitary f*ck does he? Good for him.

– Why is nobody in the media willing to bring up Rooney’s horrendous form? I was waiting for Gary Lineker to drop a Matt Baker from the One Show moment in at the end and just say ‘oh, finally before I go – WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?’

– Felt like the ratio of ‘who do your kids support?’ filler versus the more juicy ‘why did you want to leave (twice)?’ bits everyone was waiting for was weighted at about 90/10.

– Does anyone think Wayne or Fabio Capello understood a single word the other said during the whole time they worked together? My money is firmly on ‘no’.
Alex, Ipswich


Stiff in the shower thinking about Klopp
I’ve been thinking about him. In the shower. This morning.


Have been feeling a bit low lately to be honest, let down again, story of my life.

It all started so well (like it always does!). He has a silver tongue devil and oh that smile, it drove me wild. He said he knew what he was doing, don’t worry baby. He told me anyone could do the back, it was easy he said, he didn’t have a clue.

But now there’s Jurgen, a new man(ager).

I’ve been imaging the letters I will write.

They say he knows a thing or two, maybe a defender or defensive midfielder.

Oh I know I’m demanding, have high expectations, keep on talking about that man(ager) from the 70s, no I’m not past it!

Maybe I’m complicated but Jurgen will know what to do. Just stepping out of the shower, I towel myself down…now where’s my no. 7? He’ll know how to fit 4 no. 10s and 3 no. 9s into one team, they say he has tactics. And that beard, and his own teeth, and those glasses, I wonder what he’d look like if I took them off…

Oh Jurgen, Jurgen, Jurgen, I can hardly wait. Please come soon.
Dave Lfc


Rodgers to Spurs? No ta.
I nearly fell off my chair at Oliver Dziggel’s suggestion that the only club that would suit Brendan Rodgers would be Spurs.

As a lifelong Spurs fan, I would seriously consider either (a) going over to the dark side (the Woolwich mob) or (b) becoming a Trappist Monk if this unthinkable event were ever to happen. Mind you ,being a Trappist Monk sounds far more entertaining than the other option.

In case you hadnt notice, Oliver, Spurs have a bright young manager who is not ruled by his ego, and who is quietly turning Spurs into a side that are resolute, hard to beat, and easy on the eye. They are also looking to the future of the English national side by bringing on more home grown talent than most clubs.

I have no doubt Brendan Rodgers will get another club soon. Hartlepool sounds nice.

Just not in N17
Philip Brady, Navan Ireland


Wrestling? Grow up
Premier League clubs as wrestlers.

Man U – John Cena, everyone hates him and wants him to lose but he wont go away
Man City – Roman Reigns, the new kid on the block ready to get the push to the big time, but still hasn’t won the big one (Champions League).
Liverpool – Ric Flair, best in the world in the 80’s, still hanging on to those glory days despite being way, way past his prime. Cant compete with the current stars.
Arsenal – Daniel Bryan, always has the best matches but never taken seriously as a threat.
Chelsea – Hulk Hogan, big name in the business, but his reputation is in tatters.
Newcastle – Vince McMahon, innovative and super popular in the 90’s, went down hill fast and is bereft of ideas on how to turn business around.
Stoke – Dixie Carter, signs talent that were previously at good franchises based on their name only. Ultimately going nowhere.
WBA – Greg Valentine, a reliable hand in the middle of the card. Unimpressive but rarely lets you down.
Norwich – Stephanie McMahon, female owner, makes a t*t of herself when getting time with a live microphone.
Sunderland – Iron Mike Sharp, jobber to the stars, rarely, if ever picks up a win. Bottom of the card for life.
Swansea – The Iron Sheik, evil foreign invader picks up the occasional bit of silverware.
Spurs – Million Dollar Man, spends money willy nilly and never really goes further up the card.
John Liddell


The Mailbox: Messing with your minds
I’ve had a suspicion for a while now that the writers at F365 have been winding us, the gullible readers, up by publishing a series of parody emails where they pretend to be fans of certain clubs and fill their mail with every clichéd comment they can.

One recent example was a supposed Goon bewailing how we can’t understand how terrible life is to suffer as an Arsenal fan.

I’ve sent in a previous email on this but it was never published. Why? I guess either because it was complete gibberish of the lowest order or they didn’t want their devious scheme announced to the world. You choose…

However, I now have confirmation. The mail from Brian (Bring on Spurs!!) LFC has to be a wind-up, surely no one can be that lacking in self-awareness and still allowed to roam around in society.

Personally, I think it’s a brilliant idea and I can’t wait to see the parody Spurs mail so I can see how many boxes I tick.

Keep up the great work.
John THFC, Saigon


Thought It Was A Good Line. D**k.
Morning 365,

I was just about to tuck into some morning reading and naturally decided to start with your banner article “Chelsea missing their Cesc drive”.

That was right up until the 3rd paragraph where I had the misfortune to read “…like looking for a haystack in a pile of needles”.

Not. Good.
Conor, LFC


One person got it at least
“Sorry Dick, but that’s a very one-eyed way of assessing the situation.”

Well played, Storey.
Richard Brown, Cape Town

More Related Articles