Mails: Can Steven Gerrard please f*** off?

Date published: Friday 25th September 2015 3:03

Don’t shoot the messenger. It’s what the people are saying. They’re also saying Klopp for Newcastle, Jose for PSG and there’s lots on what’s good/bad about Football365…

If you want a Sunday mailbox, you need to send mails to theeditor@football365 about Saturday’s football.


Please just f*** off Stevie…
I’m a Liverpool fan and what I’m about to say now will be considered sacrilegious and completely unacceptable by most…But can Steven Gerrard please f##k off?

I am well and truly in the ‘Rodgers is a muppet’ camp and believe that it is time for him to move on, but it is a bugbear of mine that Stevie G allows himself to continuously stick his oar in and cast his shadow all the way from the other side of the Atlantic.

There is obviously some degree of sour grapes with Gerrard that he was unable to continue his career with Liverpool, but it is obvious that it was not going to be possible in a playing capacity. And I believe that Rodgers was right not to give him a coaching role as there is no point in having a backroom staff member who is more than likely going to undermine your authority. Gerrard is managing to do that now from over 3000 miles away!

I think that kicking a dog when it is down is cowardly. It’s all well and good when you can hide behind an army of supporters who are firing vitriol in a similar direction.

Gerrard is still a professional footballer getting paid handsomely by his employer to help them achieve success. I would like to see him keep the head down and stick to this task. He is showing a complete lack of respect to L.A Galaxy by repeatedly declaring that he would have accepted a coaching role if offered one. Also missing training sessions for your club to fulfill media commitments for B.T. Sport is a disgrace and shows a complete lack of regard for a league that is trying to develop, and establish itself as being somewhat competitive on the world stage.

I haven’t read his book and I have no intention to as I find that people who go down that route to deepen their already well-lined pockets through bland recitals of self importance, only manage to do one thing. To tarnish and besmirch what would have been and should have been a pristine and glistening legendary reputation. (Fergie who has rightly garnered a huge amount of respect from his years of management continually lets his infallible mask slip with each book he releases, as he airs his petty grievances and aims to settle scores)

So please Stevie, keep your head below the pulpit and do what you do best…on the football field.
Eoghan, LFC, Cavan
…Far be it from me (a United fan) to make a definitive call on good old Stevie Me but he seems to be coming across as a right bitter little git at the moment, Rafa said this Rafa did that, I blame Brendan for Chelsea loss, Jesus I’m not a Rodgers fan at all but what was he meant to do, “go out and do your best the’re better than us”? If I remember rightly Mr Gerrard it was you who fell over at an inopportune moment, I also remember it was you stamping all over Herrera not Brendan, his whining is little more than trying to justify himself and blame others for his failures. Liverpool fans do you think he is spoiling his legacy at the club or do you still hold him in legend status?
Paul Murphy, Manchester


…Had to agree with the article during the week regarding Sir Alex Ferguson. It felt like clickbait done in a different manner. One thing I have noticed is that Steven Gerrard seems to be getting away with it a bit. Revelations that he hates Diouf, Pearce and Atkinson weren’t quite that revealing, but his memory of the Chelsea game is simply laughable. Fair enough Liverpool went gung-ho for a win when all they needed was a draw, but the goal they conceded was hardly a result of their style of play. Knocking the ball backwards and forwards waiting for half-time at 0-0 is hardly terrible tactics. Say what you want about the slip but I remember how Gerrard played in the second half of that match. A selfish man on a one-man mission to try and save the team, it was like he was getting paid per shot. Saying he had a lump in his throat when he was dropped against United, well he hardly proved Brendan wrong.

But the story that takes the biscuit has to be how his feelings were hurt that he wasn’t offered a position at Liverpool.

‘what would have kept me at Liverpool into this season was the chance of shadowing Brendan Rodgers and his staff as well as playing. Those ideas were only mentioned to me after I had announced I was leaving.I don’t know if I am going to be good enough to be a manager, or a number one, number two, number three or number four. Liverpool replaced coaches Colin Pascoe and Mike Marsh in the summer, so they were looking for a new number two, or number three or number four. I would have been tailor-made to fill one of these roles, as well as making myself available as a squad player.’

Pretty tough to coach Liverpool all the way from LA? Announcing his new club and contract probably meant he wasn’t a viable option four months later when the positions became available.
Carl Doolan


Dear all footballers and managers…
When you leave a club, retire, or go into semi-retirement somewhere in the colonies, please just shut up and leave.

You have more money than anyone could ever possibly need. We, the fans, understand that there’s no such thing as loyalty to clubs any more. You are just making it worse.

I’m with Daniel Storey on the Fergie books. Ditto everyone else. The tit-for-tat autobiography and open letter to fans are two of the worse developments in football in recent times.

It’s easy to not buy the books, I understand that, it’s much harder to avoid the lurid headlines condensed from the ‘juiciest extracts’ that flood all actual sports media. I know I’m old fashioned, but books should not be a secondary career choice when you aren’t any good at your first job any-more. This equally applies to former pop stars (bulbous salutations to you Morrissey, know you’re a big fan of the mailbox).

Please footballers, go quietly into that good MLS team and shut the hell up.

Yours grumpily,
Jeremy Aves
Klopp for the Toon?
With yet another crisis sweeping through the Newcastle camp, their executives must surely be considering the position of McClaren after such woeful and insipid performances. The club’s core seems to be rotting away with a stagnant youth system, poor player recruitment and an owner of whom the less said the better. Considering their performances since January of this year they are in real danger of slipping into the Championship again. For a club with a large stadium, passionate supporters and a decent youth recruitment network surely this is a club which has for too long been underachieving.

This is where Jurgen Klopp could come in. A man renowned for his ability to galvanize not only players, but the club as a whole. By god Newcastle need some inspiration and a man who could instill some sense of self-worth back into a club which has fallen on hard times. With its current facilities and a loyal fanbase this is a Klopp project if I ever saw one.
Leon, Basel


Jose for Paris?
In response to PhX
, the answer is: PSG. Mourinho will go to PSG. Limitless funds, and the chance to achieve something no other PSG manager has, in wininng the European Cup. Plus, as something of an arriviste club, they don’t waste time with the notions of ‘class’ and ‘ethics’ that would prevent the likes of Barcelona, Bayern, Juventus or (gritting my teeth as I say this as a Liverpool fan) Manchester United from hiring such a divisive and, frankly, unpleasant figure.

I imagine the only ambition at club level that Mourinho has left is to be the first manager to win the European Cup with three different clubs, and the likelihood is that he won’t achieve that with Chelsea, or indeed any English club, given the demands of the English season.
Dara O’Reilly, London


…In response to PhX, MUFC’s question, I think the obvious answer is PSG.

It’s a chance to easily add more league titles and domestic cups to his ever-expanding trophy cabinet and it will satisfy his ego by allowing him to boast that he has won titles in 73 different countries. He would inherit a fantastic squad with the budget to improve it further and even by just making it to the Champions League semi-finals he would be surpassing PSG’s European achievements in previous years.
James Bruschini, CFC (hopefully he stays though!)


Sunderland: Like having a bath in a colander
Interesting to see an entry in the mailbox about Sunderland’s awfulness. As a Sunderland fan I’ve been pretty happy to see the talk of ‘how much?’ for Anthony Martial, ‘how poor?’ Chelsea are playing and ‘how odd?’ when it comes to Brendan Rodgers, because none of these are how much our squad has cost, how poor they’re playing, and how odd everything has been this summer.

Advocaat didn’t want to be here. Then he did. From the summer signings, Lens, M’Villa and Toivonen seem to be players the manager actually wanted. Matthews, Kaboul and Coates are here because we needed players for those positions. Advocaat called them bench players. Advocaat spoke of wanting a strong attacker who can play up front on his own, he gets Borini. Left-back van Arnholt is having a stinker of a start to the season and with no alternative in the squad, we bring in Yedlin to bring our count of right backs to three. Odd.

It’s football manager stuff. “We need a left-back, let’s check the transfer list – ooh look they only want £8m for Borini.”

Defoe doesn’t really fit into how Advocaat wants to play, but he’s stuck with him because he was another right-man-at-the-right-time when we needed a forward in January. Roberge, Mavrias, Graham, Buckley and Bridcutt are still hanging about at the club. It’s been so long since anyone last saw them I presume they’ve gone feral and are crawling around in the air-con system. Vergini was signed and loaned when he wasn’t wanted and Alvarez is so bad neither us nor Inter want anything to do with him. FIFA are to decide who picks up his tab.

The transfer set-up of Lee Congerton and Advocaat hasn’t worked this summer. The same as it didn’t work with Congerton and Poyet last summer. Or De Fanti and Di Canio the summer before. It’s a shame to say because he has put money into the club, but Ellis Short is the one constant factor behind this. We’re constantly plugging gaps. It’s like having a bath in a colander. I can only hope Advocaat manages to turn the corner with this side before he has enough and walks.
Kevin, SAFC, currently sat in Newcastle


It must be tough…blah blah blah
Lately I’ve really been enjoying the variety of mails in the mailbox regarding teams we don’t often hear about. Even as an Arsenal fan I agree that it can be tedious hearing about the same teams over and over again and it makes sense to have a different perspective when information on Premier League teams is readily available however there’s not so much coverage for lower league teams. However, do you know what’s even more boring than hearing about Arsenal/Chelsea/Liverpool/Man U constantly? When someone who supports a lower-league club comes to the mailbox with the “must be tough always finishing in the top four when my club can’t do XYZ…’ rhetoric.

Obviously it’s probably worse being a Portsmouth fan than a Man City one, but there seems to be a massive misunderstanding of relativity in the mailbox. Yes, in absolute terms, Coventry for example have a harder time of it than Man U but relative to expectations, Man U finishing seventh under Moyes was an absolute disaster and equally worthy of complaining about. Finishing in the top half of the Premier League may be what you dream about for your club, but it’s the stuff of nightmares for others. Yes, it’s entitlement in the extreme but unless you support a club at the absolute bottom of the football pyramid, there’s always going to be someone worse off than you so by that logic no one should ever complain.

This is sounding a bit more ranty than I first anticipated but it’s a fairly simple concept a few mailboxers are struggling to get their head round or just wilfully ignoring. Should the CEO of Volkswagen stroll into the next board meeting and say “don’t worry about the pandemonium going on here lads, there’s a small car garage in Bavaria that’s struggling to make ends meet, we should be grateful for what we have”? Obviously there’s excessive moaning but there’s no threshold at which you’re no longer allowed to complain because your club have it so good.
Brett (‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’) AFC


Better together
Gattuso and Pirlo is great, but Keane and Scholes were better I’d argue.

Keane scored a lot more goals than Gattuso (57 compared to 13) and Scholes was a lot more physical than Pirlo. More brawn and more brains overall, Keane was a much better footballer than people give him credit for and Scholes got a lot more tackles right than he got wrong.

I wish I had a Sicilian girl with a nice arse.
Silvio (Convinced Souness wears a wig. Remove if scared of libel, MC) Dante


Not scouting…just listing good players
If you pick players who win more games than others, have played consistantly over two years in one of the top leagues, you’re hardly ‘identifying’ a player. I’m pretty sure his identity will be well known. Maybe not to Andy Townsend and co, but I digress.

I thought the whole point of scouting was to uncover the gems in not so well know areas of the world. Create a matrix whereby you can find actual hidden gems and you’ll make yourself a fortune.
Anthony (Who’s is this Griezmann chap?) Kane, Milan


How is Dwight Gayle not a superstar?
I may be a few days late with this – as far as his hat-trick the other night – but can anyone tell me what it is that is holding Dwight Gayle back from being an absolute (English) superstar striker? As far as I can see he has a pretty fantastic goals per game time ratio over the last two or three seasons but for some reason he is never a regular and was expected to leave Palace for Norwich at the start of the season. Every time I’ve seen him he has been brilliant. I saw footage of him scoring at least a hat-trick in a pre-season friendly at Barnet – superb goals. Is there something going on behind the scenes of a personal nature that keeps him out of contention for any of the big clubs that I’m not aware of because on the surface to me he is as good as anyone else we seem to have available for England at present. Any Palace fans have any insider knowledge on this?
Steven Hunt, Draughtsman


The Bristols…
Oh EdQuoth…Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed. I like your mails. I do. But the Bristol derby. Well, it’s special. You guessed wrong. If you ever get a chance to go to one, I urge you to. I mean, I’ve never been myself. But by all means, go. The Gas are firmly my second team, in fact I’ve been a card-carrying season tickets for my beloved second team yet never for my nameless first team. (I’m from Milton Keynes, it’s Man United obviously). It cost 55 quid for a season back when I was a student at the glorified Polytechnic in Bristol.

Ed didn’t do his research, he said this. But enter ‘Bristol Rovers Bristol City’ into a popular search engine and the first autofill will be ‘violence’. Alas. I’m not here to glorify that by any means, but it gives you an idea that the rivalry is anything but stale. Both sides have amazing support, it’s passionate to the point of slightly mental. They indeed don’t play very often, and when they do, the intensity of the occasion can get the better of some folks. This seems to have happened in their last meeting a couple of years back which ended in pitch invasions and a few arrests. Bad times, as I’m sure Justin Lee Collins would have described it.

I can remember once wondering toward a Rovers game with me jersey on and a girl, who couldn’t have been more than ten, yelling ‘Rovers W*nker’ at me from across the street. She was probably right.

Do you think this will wake Mike BRFC from his slumber? Where art thou Mike?
Paul (If you don’t put a proper sign-off they sell you out by publishing your actual birth name… thanks 365) London


We miss it too…but it was time-consuming and not that popular
To all at 365 towers, love the site and you all do a great job (as a rule of thumb, go to another site and you’ll generally find yourself back here within a short space of time). I visit this site so much that I’ve got lazy and made it my homepage rather than a bookmark.

One of the features I miss however is the article that used to provide three statistical bullet points about each team on a weekly basis. It was great to learn some stats on teams and players that may not be apparent at first, watch games to see if it rang true and generally drop obscure stats to back up a debate about a player/team with your mates.

It is also of no coincidence that since its removal from this fine domain that my fantasy team performance has suffered tremendously.

Please bring it back, I can’t be the only one that misses it surely?!?
Amit (hate that when a player scores, the first question asked is who got the assist), London


The quiz: Rock hard
Yes blueluke. The quiz is most certainly back and I like you was delighted and full of happiness to see it return.

That happiness soon turned to frustration when I realised that F365 had decided to attempt a ridiculously difficult quiz, which must be on a par with some form of University Challenge crossed with Mastermind.

I usually hit the dizzy heights of 14 or 15, occasionally get higher, usually get lower. Today a grand total of 2 (and the Liverpool answer was multiple choice).

Slightly easier questions next week please F365 to set me up for the weekend. With a score in the mid-teens it gives me a sense of enormous well being. And then I’m happy for the rest of the weekends football, safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it.
Micky (the quiz was about foreigners, am I racist, xenophobic, just stupid?) Romford


Who needs a woman?
Maybe it’s because I am currently a bachelor, or a singleman if you will or maybe its just because I’m a miserable f*cker, but those mails where a guy smugly and doe-eyedly writes in to tell how their adult partner formed an opinion about something (football) and subsequently followed that up with a sentence make me cringe and think of Hollyoaks for no apparent reason. I’ve never watched Hollyoaks in my life but I presume ”a top bird” in it is one who can do a sentence about the footy before slyly sneaking out and having a sordid affair with her own lack of self in a dingy flat above the local pub.

I am in a very good moment now.
Kevin Walsh (Raven hair, two eyes, knows her football), Luimneach


On That Merson Line
We already know what Plato was like with a drink problem.

They say, he could stick it away; Half a crate of whiskey every day, according to certain historians.
Alex Stokoe, Newcastle upon Tyne
…Today I saw that, in your usual Mediawatch pot-shot at Paul Merson, you made light of his long term battle with alcoholism.

I wonder, on a scale of 1 to 10, just how righteous you would have been in your condemnation had another website drawn parallels between his predictions and his ‘drinking problem’? Or is it only bad when the Mail Online does it?

You stay classy F365.
Laurence, East London
(‘I too am a long-time but soon-to-be lapsed F365 reader’ is what you wrote on Tuesday. Still here? – The Editor)


…’We now know what Plato would have been like with a drink problem.’ Thank you F365 for one of my favourite lines read on a website…

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