Mails: Rooney? Charlton? Lineker is the man

Date published: Thursday 10th September 2015 9:23

Gary Lineker is England’s greatest ever goalscorer, not Wayne Rooney or Sir Bobby Charlton. Also: Fourth would actually represent an over-achievement for Liverpool, and there’s plenty more on Jack Grealish.


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Lineker Trumps All
I’ve never seen anything of Charlton beyond brief clips of his goals but surely the fact that he was an attacking midfielder makes his goalscoring achievements pretty damn incredible.

As it happens I would vote for Lineker as the best ever England goalscorer: 10 goals in two World Cups in a side that was nothing more than decent; that’s scoring when it matters. He also won the Golden Boot in one of those tournaments and scored his goals in only 80 matches.

Clearly it’s an amazing achievement by Rooney. I’m a bit sad that he’s clearly passed his peak and never really fulfilled his potential over a sustained period of time, but only someone blind or biased can deny he’s (overall) still been a very good player over the years, and I say that as a Liverpool supporter.


Very Angry About Rooney And Modern Life
To all those who are falling over themselves to declare Wayne Rooney to be s**t, over-rated, undeserving, too blotchy to be successful, and so on, I have but one question: are you aware that you are a miserable bunch of c**ts? Woop-de-doo, look how cynical you are, you’re so f**king cool with your antipathy and aversion to the mainstream. Ooh, how the ladies must swoon at your Tumblrific eye-rolling approach to life.

All those idiotic sheeple that worship at the temple of proscribed enjoyment, doing exactly what the Sun tells them and living such an unoriginal life. Why can’t they be more like you, with your unique outlook? Everyone – EVERYONE – thinks Wayne Rooney is the bestest footballer ever. All except you, oh beacon of truth.

Instead of citing a f**king video clip of him giving a speech as indicative of the forthcoming end of humanity, why not perhaps consider that you’re actually being a melodramatic p**ck, picking and choosing your dismay based on whichever way the cultural wind is blowing? Really, does it actually matter to you that some people have a different opinion? Is it really necessary for you to stamp those not-really-angry feet? Do you need the attention that badly? Reading the mailbox today left me expecting an endless wave of black cats across my desk, because it appears to be exactly the same f**king collection of words as Monday. ‘Boo, Rooney is s**t’. ‘Actually, Charlton was s**t’. Blah blah f**king blah.

Have you Twitter fiends considered that you’d probably enjoy your lives more if you spent less time contriving reasons to be angry? A handy tip for you to help you get started: if you find that you start most of your sentences with, “Actually…”, stop it. Stop talking until you realise how to interact with people like a person, not a c***. Go to your Twitter, Facebook, whatever the f**k it is you spend your time being prissy on, and read back through your contributions. Is a lot of it reactive petty bulls**t because someone gave an entirely inoffensive opinion that seems a little bit too populist for your liking? When you speak, does your lip curl up like Elvis with dried-out gums?

Jesus Christ people, before citing out back-slapping video clips as the end of days, why not acknowledge that the reason for your misery, and that of so many other Westerners, is your own sense of self-pity? You hate Rooney not because of his ability, but because of his wealth. You are jealous, and it is embarrassing. Grown men tearing down England’s record goal-scorer because he lives in a nicer house, and pitifully incapable of admitting it to themselves. But they retweeted that picture of the dead Syrian kid, and they demanded the death of a plasticky dentist because he killed a lion, so they MUST be morally right, right?

The pressure to always toe the exact moral line while maintaining the right sense of negativity is far more damaging to this world than Wayne Rooney giving a f**king speech. The mailbox sounds like a bloody student bar, full of nonsense idealism and overblown anger. When you guys grow up you’ll hopefully realise what tits you were. If you are already grown, then perhaps it’s time for you to consider getting your own personality, rather than waiting to see what Twitter wants you to say then going double-guns on it.

And besides, Lineker was better than both. So was Greaves. F**k all y’all who think otherwise.


New Statistics
In an attempt to create a fair and impartial way to determine who the greatest goal scorer is between Rooney and Sir Bobby I came up with a system.

Taking on board the stick Walcott got for scoring 4th and 6th against San Moreno I came up with the following idea:

A goal is worth 20 points.

Any goal over a one goal lead is worth 2 less.

Penalties are worth half due to the fact that they should be easier to score.

Taking last nights game as an example. Harry Kane scored for 20 points. Rooney’s penalty gives him 9 points (2nd goal of a lead 18 points, but a penalty so worth half)

Having spent (far too long) going through the scoring stats I can tell on this system that Rooney earned 8.07 points per cap

Sir Bobby Charlton scored 7.73 points per cap. He lost out due to scoring hat tricks in the shellacking of the USA and Luxembourg (8-1 and 9-0 respectively)

I’m not sure what this has actually proved except that maybe Rooney has scored slightly more important goals for his country.

Anyway, well done Wayne.
David B


Grealish Being Swayed By Agent
Can I be the first to express my disgust at the comments made by agent Jonathan Garbett yesterday. I will never understand why so many footballers who make crazy money move club to sit on the bench and make slightly crazier money. This is one of the main positives of international football as pride in the jersey you wear is guaranteed by 99% of the players on the pitch.

The idea that this man is trying to convince Jack grealish to pick England over Ireland because he’ll make more money in the long run is abhorrent to me. If grealish picks England over Ireland well best of luck to him, I’d love to see a player with his quality in an Ireland shirt but it’s his own choice. But money should have nothing to do with international football.

The fact that he’s lamenting that Gareth Bale didn’t pick England over Wales for the sake of a few million when Bale makes a few million a month is a joke. I doubt that for one second Bale considered it, and I doubt he’d trade leading his native Wales to a major finals for taking part in five tournaments with a country he has no affiliation too.

Basically for me, if grealish picks Ireland over England, he’ll probably play twice the amount of games as there is less competition for places & more longevity in an international career for smaller countries. Secondly, all he has to do is score one important goal to be a hero forever (Holland, Mcateer, et al) instead of his international career being tainted with dissapointment when he retires like so many incredible footballers who have played for England. Third (& most importantly) he will win the same amount of medals as neither are ever really going to win a tournament in the next 15 years.

But if England is where his pride lies then that’s the route he definitely should take that route. I think Bale made the right choice, I think grealish will make the wrong choice, but I think money and especially agents should have nothing to do with it whatsoever.
Pierce, Waterford, Ireland


Qualifying: Not The Real Quiz
Why is there so much emphasis placed on England’s record in World Cup or Euros qualifying? It’s meaningless. In most games we’re up against dross–not that our national team is any great shakes–and it would require a buffoon of a manger or utter complacency on the part of players not to see England through.

Capello’s team dropped just three points in 2010 qualifying and despite The Sun’s EASY prediction, we were utterly woeful at the World Cup, unable to beat the USA (cheers, Rob Green) or Algeria, and just scraping by Slovenia. Fair enough about the loss to Germany, that was always going to happen after coming second in the group.

Hodgson saw us undefeated whilst qualifying for 2014 (managing to earn draws against football behemoths such as Montenegro, Poland and Ukraine) and we turned up only to get absolutely sh*t upon. It was embarrassing to watch.

Despite the lovely qualifying record for the upcoming Euros, I expect us to limp out of the tournament in the round of 16 after similarly disappointing football–with Rooney starting all four games and not scoring a single goal.

The reason Robson and Venables stand above their peers post-Ramsey is that at least they got us to semi-finals and within touching distance of winning something; friendlies and qualifying be damned.
Greg Benham, AFC


FFP: City And Liverpool
A few people have written in lately about City’s spending and how this relates to FFP. This excellent piece from The Swiss Rambler explains it wonderfully. Amortization of players and immediate revenue booking for player sales goes a long way to explain it.

Also, as a Liverpool fan this paints a very clear picture of where we sit in the Premier League pecking order. 5th in PL net transfer spend, 4th in player amortisation, 4th in wage growth, 5th in revenue, 5th placed English club in Deloitte’s Money League, 5th in distribution of Premier League funds, 4th in commercial revenue growth, and 4th in PL match day revenue. We should be fighting for a Champions League spot but are by no means guaranteed it given the spending and financial performance of our main rivals. 2nd two seasons ago was a massive overachievement and 6th last season was slightly underperforming. 4th spot this year should be considered a modest overachievement but based on financials will still be a stretch.

Sure I’m not the only one who’ll find this breakdown of interest.
Matt, LA


The Main Thing About The Ladder
50 (50) Phil Neville.

I know it’s going to be there…

The other readers know it’s going to be there…

The writers know it’s going to be there….

Yet it simply doesn’t stop being funny…

James CFC Gravesen


Praise For Lovely Miller
Take a bow, Nick Miller.

Truly a great piece this week, and the point made extends far beyond football, and into the daily workings of our minds.

The tables always turn, and to pay-it-forward, for lack a better phrase, by showing respect and warmth to those whom you could bully/exclude/dominate…shows true character.

It is often that when you are dealing with whom you perceive to be ‘the weak’… that your colours shine through the truest.
Manc in SA (Be nice, it’s just nicer.


Irish Premier League XI
1. Shay Given 2. Seamus Coleman 3. Robbie Brady 4. Ciaran Clark 5. John O’Shea 6. James McCarthy 7. Stephen Ireland 11. James McClean 8. John Walters 9. Wes Hoolahan 10. Shane Long

Subs. McGeady, Whelan, Delaney, Wilson, Gibson, Randolph, Arthur, C. Wilson

Basically the team that’s fielded and definitely better than any team any other nation can field. Now to dispatch Poland and Germany and book our tickets to France. Oh.
Simon, London (Via Dublin)


It’s A Bloody Scandal
Martin, Chorley, disgusted by Romeo Beckham. My mate’s lad got shunted from playing Joseph in his school nativity play by Rio Ferdinand’s son for the same reason. True story.
Ian, Spurs

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