Mails: Same sh*te, just a different week

Date published: Sunday 24th January 2016 11:25 - Daniel Storey

Want to say more about the weekend’s games in Monday’s Mailboxes? Email


It didn’t get much better
It’s 45 mins in – literally the worst game of football I have ever seen. I seem to say that every week these days.
Dan, Ireland MUFC


…As you yourself note
Seriously, this is isnt funny anymore. Why is he still there?
Dan, Ireland MUFC


Same shite, different week. Tme to f**k off Louis. You won’t be missed.
Owen (can’t wait to see how Guy tries to spin that sh**e from Rooney), Dublin


…So Van Gaal feels United lost the game because he substituted Fellaini and not because they managed to get just one shot on target, that too a half-hearted shot from outside the box.

We are fu*ked. Truly and totally.
Kay (Does “LVG out” even matter anymore)


Bite-sized chunks of United fury
1. Yet another injury crisis. No fit senior right back or left back, one fit senior centre back, no signs whatsoever of any incoming reinforcements.

2. “It was a poor game and we didn’t create so much and neither did our opponent”. It’s this kind of delusion that is killing the team. The opponent not creating much at home is the least we expect; us not creating anything is completely unacceptable.

3. As is 11 games at home without a first half goal. Van Gaal said the fans are right to boo, well I’d take it one step further and say they are duty-bound to boo. I can’t afford to go and watch United but I’m glad about that because if I had paid the extortionate ticket prices to consistently watch this kind of crap then I’d want my money back.

4. Is there any measure against which van Gaal has genuinely improved the team? He signed a couple of midfielders but is consistently misusing them. I can’t even guess what’s going on with Depay but that’s been a disaster so far. The attack is just unspeakably bad.

5. On the other side of things, the way the club is being run is an embarrassment. The fans clearly aren’t happy with the the way the team is playing, I can’t imagine any way that the players are happy, and literally no progress is being made. So why is nothing changing? On what basis is van Gaal still in the job?

6. Having said that, it’s too late for anything to happen now. There are just over 8 days left in the transfer window so there’s not really any time to get anything other than panic buys sorted, and appointing a new manager isn’t going to make any difference either because they wouldn’t be able to bring new players in.

Not only that but who would you bring in? Mourinho? Probably not because the board weren’t keen on him when either Moyes or Ferguson left, so I can’t imagine they’d go for him now. Guardiola is only available at the end of the season and I’m not sure he’d even be interested in this version of United. Giggs simply cannot be considered – the United job, this United job is not suitable for a complete rookie manager. So we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Ted, Manchester


Mourinho? No thanks
I can’t believe Jose Mourinho. He’s been touting himself for the United job since before Ferguson retired and now, as his old mentor is under immense pressure (rightly – performances have been dire) he’s written a six page letter to the United board basically begging to be given a shot at the job.

For those who don’t understand why United haven’t already taken a punt on him, there are three main reasons. United’s heirarchy are apparently incredibly unimpressed by his various ridiculous antics on and off the touchline – although Fergie wasn’t against saying stupid things, he always protected his players first and foremost (with the odd high-profile exceptions). Mourinho throws his under the bus to protect his own reputation instead. The sulks and team doctor incidents haven’t helped either.

Jose’s repeated failure to develop young players is another reason. I know mailboxers hate talk of the ‘United Way’ but if there is such thing, then it surely includes the constant stream of young players who’ve broken into the first team – not just the Class of 92 but before and since. Jose doesn’t get the idea of developing players – either they work for him or they don’t.

The final big reason is the negative, defensive football that his horrendously expensively-assembled teams play. LvG already provides that and the fans hate it. Mourinho doesn’t even bring a guarantee of winning any more.

Back to my point. I really hope that United’s board stick his letter straight on the fire – less because I don’t want him managing my club (though I’d rather finish 10th without him than 2nd with) and more because I want him to suffer the kick in the teeth of being ignored even when the club is desperate for a better manager. This letter is absolutely pathetic and so is Jose. He’s an arrogant, petulant slimeball who throws a strop the second he isn’t worshipped by everyone. English football is better off without him.
Alex, Leeds


That’s what Lallana does
Last week I read the Lallana piece, and though I didn’t disagree with the points presented against him, I just felt he’s still imp to us.In my opinion, it’s down to his movements.

I didn’t write in then but it’s 80′ now in the Norwich game and its impossible to disagree that his introduction changed the game. Won’t be surprised to see Klopp heap praise on him.

Yet good as he is, he still needs to add some more end product to be part of a team aspiring to the be at the top. He’s still the best we got until our Brazilian magician returns.
Abhinav, Wismar


Norwich fans: Shammy
Just finished watching the clustershambles of a game between Norwich and Liverpool. Now as an Irish Liverpool fan I have always had a soft spot for Norwich, usually a nice style of football, decent players and decent fans.

Back to the days of the bostik brothers and Mike Walker, Andy Townsend, Chris Sutton, Jeremy Goss, Big Brian Gunn, Keith O’Neill to the present day with Wes the Wizard and Robbie Brady.

Today they equalised to bring it to 4-4 and instead of singing about Norwich the fans bust out with gusto the old you’ll never get a job standard. Stupid, moronic and not funny when man united fans sang it 30 years ago. When you’re stealing from the innovative United singing section, it’s pretty poor.

You didn’t deserve to lose but hahahahah. . Basically, go F*** yourselves Norwich fans.
Ivor (no more Shane Long to Liverpool?) LFC Dublin


More extensive Liverpool thoughts
I can’t really take anything away from a weekend where we pulled out a last gasp winner whilst Man Utd did the opposite, and whilst it’s great to have scored five goals my pressing issue was that perhaps only one of the goals was well worked (Firmino’s second, his first had a big slice of luck from the way it ricocheted off the keeper).

The major and glaring issues are that we managed to concede four times against a side that had only managed twenty four goals in their previous twenty two matches. There are better attacking sides in the Premier League and worryingly, there are also few defences that will basically gift you at least two goals in a game.

F365 are right in that Teixeira won’t solve a great number of our problems. There is a part of me that wonders whether Mignolet’s new contract is one of two things; either to ensure a decent transfer fee in the summer or because he’d probably be the best back up keeper we’ve had since Dudek was displaced by Reina. If the thinking was to tie him down now with a view to finding a better option in the summer then perhaps I can make my peace with it.

The issue right now is that we have a keeper that doesn’t command the area well, can’t track the flight of a ball well in the air (or perhaps isn’t strong enough to get through a congested area and punch well), he doesn’t distribute the ball well and this season he has also been an awful shot stopper. His qualities in goal are similar to mine, and that is no compliment.

I appreciate that perhaps the goals today weren’t entirely his fault but at what stage do we look at the bigger picture and accept that a keeper simply shouldn’t be conceding the first shot on target so frequently? If you exclude the clean sheets, in games in which Liverpool have conceded, the first shot on target has gone in in the last TEN games. That is just unacceptable.

Keepers like Cech, Courtois and De Gea will actively win you points over a season, Mignolet is yet to actually make a vital save this season which has affected the final result of a game. Even the penalty today was pretty awful; the ball was within 30cm of his body and he still couldn’t keep it out. There seems to be something violently wrong with him.

The brilliant Tomkins Times did a great piece on how Liverpool have one of the shortest teams in the league ( and this is obviously having a very negative impact on how we handle corners and high balls. He points out that players like Caulker must suggest that Klopp recognises this and is trying to find short term solutions until he can start to make meaningful changes in the summer.

I don’t mind that but if we are effectively writing off final league places this season (which isn’t the craziest idea given that we are 8 points off Spurs) then maybe we should start testing out more options. Joao Teixeira, on the back of two good performances against Exeter, surely deserves a chance against more talented opposition? Perhaps a few games for Sinclair might encourage him to sign a new deal too. I just think you could learn a lot in the final third of this season about your youngsters and wider squad (a bit like Tim Sherwood did at Spurs when he took over and felt he possibly had nothing to lose) or you could persist playing the same broken record.

It might be that Klopp sees something in this squad of players that we haven’t seen in the past two years. If Lallana can start to contribute goals and assists like he did today then maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel for him. Maybe Benteke can stop making rubbish runs and getting caught offside when some decent hold up play is required late on in games.

I just think if we get to the end of the season and have learnt nothing new about the squad beyond the fact that Milner and a variety of other certain starters aren’t really at the level required then it will have been an opportunity wasted.
Minty, LFC


Why Liverpool want Teixeira
I thought I’d try to answer Matt Stead’s question of why sign Teixeira. To me the answer is simple.

a) He is seemingly available.
b) He supposedly wants to come

To use an analogy, if Messi became available and wanted to go to Man CIty, they would sign him. Regardless of how many attacking players they have. They would do this because it would offer a significant upgrade.

Now, in no way am I comparing the two players but if Liverpool believe that Teixeira is a Champions League calibre player, who is willing to sign for the club, then the move makes sense. He would be an upgrade on what is available now. It may be the case that right now Liverpool cannot identify any defenders or a goalkeeper who are available. But they have found what they believe to be a high class player so they are moving for him now, rather than risk losing him later.

There are not many Champions League calibre players willing to sign for Liverpool right now. Teixeira may end up not being that good, who knows (I’ve never seen him play) but “the committee” clearly thinks he is. Liverpool are not in the best of health right now. This is a case of take what you can get, when you can get it.
Mike, LFC, Dubai


Premier League: Home of the subplot
So many interesting scorelines yesterday and the least interesting one was Man United 0-1 Southampton. United are so boring, that to talk about them strikes me as perversely narrow-minded.

After all, amazing things are happening in the Premiership this season.

Leicester are top of the league and it doesn’t seem weird any more. Chelsea are four points above the relegation zone. Some guy called Dele Alli is the best midfielder in the league. Villa might not get relegated! Sam Allardyce probably will! Jurgen Klopp is doing the unthinkable and making it impossible to hate Liverpool. Crystal Palace were really good but have now gone back to being Crystal Palace. Arsenal really, genuinely think they’re going to win the league, which will make it even funnier when they throw away a five point lead with three games to go. And yes, Manchester United, the richest and most famous club in the UK, are absolute rubbish despite spending 250 million in two season – and that too, from a neutral perspective, is a wonderful thing.

I can’t remember a Premiership season with so many subplots. Now all we need is someone to find and publish that Jose Mourinho letter and all our lives will be complete.
Stephen O’S, MUFC


That Alli goal
Dan (He’s going to get sent off a few times, mind..), Watford

More Related Articles