Man City have ‘absolute nothing player’ as Champions League ‘jeopardy’ beckons

Man City had a ‘mare against PSG; we have an evisceration from a man and criticism of one dogsh*t player in particular.
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If Stewie supported Man City…
At the risk of sounding like you know who; what was that all about? Collapsing from a two-goal lead, where have I seen that before?🫣
Best manager in the world? More like a fake Ange Postecoglou ( Im-postecoglou?) Can’t defend a lead, again, can’t defend full stop.
We were cut open with surgical precision in the second half. To continue the medical theme – explosive diarrhea at RB (gets passed painfully too easy) and a prolapse in goal; seriously what has happened to Ederson?
But it’s on the manager really. What’s he saying to his players before the game?
“Hola guys – you’re the best, great, great guys btw – you remember my detailed, intricate and meticulous tactical instructions?”
“Yeah gaffer, run about like a loon and concede a goal ?”
“Give the ball away with every pass boss?”
“Stand there watching while they run right through us?”
[Bum pats all round]#
“Great guys, great guys, you’re so so good”
Not like Guardiola hasn’t had money to spend; £1,550m of it. Compare that to Nuno at forest who’s only spent £115m and they’re above us in the league – in his first season!
Is that Mikel Arteta available yet? I hear he’s pretty good.
(You get the idea. That was a disappointing performance.)
#Literally, what other job or public social situation still allows that?
Eric Cartman MCFC Somerset. (Wow, I get why he does it now. That was surprisingly cathartic. Mansour out!)
READ: Manchester City crisis renewed in cataclysmic defeat which leaves them on Champions League brink
Have Man City had unfair draw?
I am really enjoying the new Champions League format, it’s clearly more exciting with more jeopardy than the old four-team league whereby the penultimate games you pretty much knew how most of the groups would finish.
However, this new format is way less fair in terms of the teams you may end up playing, mostly this is due to the traditionally weaker or newer teams from the supposedly stronger league getting higher status then maybe they should.
As a case in point Celtic have had a very easy run playing at home to Slovan Bratislava, RB Leipzig, Club Brugge and Young Boys and only needing to travel to Dortmund, Atalanta and Zagreb. Remember Celtic were in pot 3 and have not made it out of the group stage for 12 years. Apart from Dortmund none of those teams have any Champions League pedigree and before a ball has been kicked would have been outsiders to make the latter stages of the competition.
Compare this to Man City’s run of playing at home to Inter, Sparta Praha, Feyenoord and Club Brugge and needing to travel to Bratislava, Sporting CP, Juventus and PSG. In Inter, Juve and PSG you have 3 heavy weights of Europe and even Feyenoord and Sporting CP have more European history and succuss (although admittedly not in the Champions League) compared to all of Celtic’s opponents bar Dortmund.
City will still qualify assuming they bet Club Brugge at home, if they can’t do that then they don’t deserve to go through, however it’s strange that City in pot one and winners only of the competitions 18mths ago get such a hard set of fixtures, luck of the draw I guess!
Paul K, London
READ: Will Premier League still get five Champions League places after Man City sh*tshow?
What do we think of the format now?
What is the Mailbox consensus on the new CL format now? Do those at F365 towers still generally despise it?
The lack of jeopardy seems to have been the issue most have brought up. It’s hard to write off that argument altogether. If Man City beat Club Brugge they will go through, despite being rather crap thus far. To counter that though, they could then find themselves facing either Real or Bayern in the playoff round. I don’t think that was in the plan, and that feels like jeopardy to me. It looks like there’s the potential for 2 or 3 huge ties in the playoff round.
I’m a fan of this format but I do have one issue. Whether it’s by design or not, there aren’t many (if any) plum ties in the last round of fixtures. Barca v Atalanta, Inter v Monaco, Juve v Benfica, and Lille v Feyenoord all have the potential to mix things up, but none are Europe’s real elite taking each other on. A computer arranged the fixtures. I’m going to assume it was fed a few bits of information in regards to the last round of games though. Naughty.
Gary AVFC, Oxford (Counting both Rams Super Bowl wins)
Nunes was a rotten transfer
Was nice to see in your write up of City’s latest calamity some shade being thrown towards Matheus Nunes. Obviously, Antony stands atop the “truly abysmal Manchester based signing” pantheon, and Kalvin Phillips being English means he’s taken more flak for doing nothing at City, but Nunes has flown quietly under the radar for being absolutely rubbish.
He is dogshit. Truly, truly awful. Every time I’ve seen him play for City, he’s contributed the square root of bugger all. Seems like an absolute nothing player; no great pace, strength or technical ability. I’m not entirely sure what his supposed best position is. For £55m, he’s been an absolutely wretched signing, and I think it needs pointing out more.
Antony may well stand alone as “worst signing in Premier League history”, but Nunes is in the top 10.
Lewis, Busby Way (btw. PSG were superb. The best 40 minutes or so I’ve seen from a side this season)
What a game!
Manchester City took the lead again but suffered a typical collapse, as brilliantly noted by Matt Stead. However, it was an exciting game, especially following the madness of Benfica vs. Barcelona, and PSG displayed a bright and vibrant performance.
Who would have thought a team without the overbearing shadows of Mbappe, Messi, and Neymar would perform so well?
Gaptoothfreak87, Man. Utd., Somewhere on Earth (Hoping our game against Rangers is as entertaining and wild!).
More Ange talk
Have you noticed this new phrase that has crept into his press conferences – players are described as “a bit sore”. And by, a bit sore, he means they’ve pulled their hamstring.
He knows. He’s aware these players haven’t been physically conditioned to play the way he wants. He’s actively trying to downplay the number of muscle injuries the club has.
His words after Udogie got injured were troubling. He played because Spence had been sent off the game before and was unavailable. So why not play Reguilon? Presumably because he doesn’t think he’s good enough. But isn’t the lesser of two evils a player you’re not sure about as opposed to one who had a high probability of injuring himself. See also Romero and VDV. It’s reckless.
Apparently, Ange is pretty low maintenance in terms of his backroom staff. Makes sense. Less compensation for Levy to pay when he sacks them all. But a trusted fitness coach might have prevented some of this.
Spurs went to Germany without 14 players but have sent Dorrington out on loan and haven’t recalled any of their loan players, including the guy who’s scored in Leeds last two games. They’ve also made one signing. Maybe because they’re waiting to see whether we beat Leicester on Sunday before sacking Ange and giving a potential new manager a whole week to identify and sign a couple of players before the deadline.
This is nuts.
Andrew
In their heads….
There are several ironies between the seasons a couple of teams are having and how they are run.
Take United. This team was the first to spot the commercial advantage of the Premier League and branding to become a force again. Granted, some luck in having a team of brilliant academy grads didn’t hurt, but I would say that it also worked because of the relative lack of coaching sophistication in competitive teams.
Today, it seems, every new manager has tactical nous and has elevated coaching strategy to a new level. One wonders how Ferguson’s tactics would fare in today’s game. It is ironic to see United not just outplayed on the park but outmanaged by ‘smaller’ clubs who are more adept in the transfer market.
Then look at Chelsea. Chelsea had probably the most advanced academy system for many years. Winning the equivalent of the academy Champions League twice and finalists twice. Yet the best players from those days often made it big at other clubs after being sold on as not good enough for the then strong Chelsea squad. You would think the way to resolve this would be to keep your academy graduates, but no, Chelsea had to buy a boatload – not make that an armada – of young players from around the world.
And we read Chelsea is about to buy yet another 17-year-old. The irony is that the only reason this team is afloat is through a City graduate who couldn’t get first-team football under Guardiola.
A recent mailer said that United were only struggling because their squad was lightweight, lacked pace or both. And while the latter may be partially true, a look at, say, Liverpool, would show that none of the players are particularly ‘beefy’ – granted, Gravenberch isn’t short but also isn’t pacey, and Szoboslai runs around a lot but isn’t fast, while MacAllister, Jones, Elliott and Endu are small and not particularly pacey. So perhaps it is more about positioning, ball control, passing skill, looking up for teammates, etc, and stamina to sustain those skills at a high level throughout the game.
While Slot started with a decent and well-coached squad, you can see the players trying to follow what Slot has been showing them. How much can a club determine the ‘smarts’ of a player before acquisition? I would say that, as a whole, there was a lot of game intelligence in the players of Ferguson’s earlier winning sides; that is just not evident in the current squad. Was that learned from winning, the confidence it gave them or was it simply that some of the current United squad aren’t as smart?
Paul McDevitt
Man United shopping list by me:
Dorgu £30m (LWB but also RWB)
Alvaro – £16m (LWB)
Angel Gomes – free in summer/nominal now (rotation with Mainoo and potentially as a #10)
Edwards – £15m (a #10)
Inacio – £50m (CB)
That’s not particularly expensive, or unlikely. And it fixes basically 80% of the current issues.
I’m sure there are supporters who would demand more, or bigger names, but that’s not what we necessarily need or want. Or indeed can afford.
If my understanding of FPP maths is correct, and setting aside wages, if we sell Garnacho for £50m, that’s worth 5x that in what we could spend this year, which more than covers the above.
Get him sold and for god’s sake get business done. My sanity can’t take it.
Thanks x
Badwolf