Massive Man Utd, Arsenal and Chelsea signings among worst Premier League regulars

Kai Havertz, Rasmus Hojlund and Moises Caicedo
Kai Havertz, Rasmus Hojlund and Moises Caicedo

The rules are simple here; it’s the regular (eight Premier League starts or more) who has the lowest ranking so far this season.

We have used WhoScored and generally, the suggestions are bob on. And certainly so when it comes to Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea.


ARSENAL: Kai Havertz
Some of these will be controversial or down to the vagaries of an algorithm but this is bang on. We consistently said that this was a curious transfer – particularly for that money – and he has absolutely failed to find a place and a purpose at Arsenal. Dropped to the substitute bench for the win over Brentford, he came on and scored the winner. Nice. But a return on that really quite significant summer investment? Not so much.


ASTON VILLA: Emiliano Martinez
It’s not that Martinez has been poor (the numbers would suggest he is mid-table among Premier League goalkeepers) but that Villa have been excellent in almost every department and yet no team in the top seven has conceded more goals. If we’d lowered the number of games needed to qualify, the ‘honour’ would have gone to the disappointing Nicolo Zaniolo, whose finishing has been atrocious.


Not his fault but at 20, he probably should not be a starting left-back in the Premier League. He is not producing the attacking numbers to justify his inclusion and his temper has proved an issue in defence. The Cherries have won three of their last four and Kerkez has started each of those wins on the bench. We think they need a new left-back, especially with Lloyd Kelly a possible January exit.


BRENTFORD: Mark Flekken
The stats suggest he has conceded at least three more goals than he really should have done. A massive downgrade on David Raya.


BRIGHTON: Billy Gilmour
A fine player – and he keeps the ball very well indeed – but the algorithms are not kind when you’re a central midfielder who tackles less than the strikers, while only one assist and no goals is a meagre return. The goalkeepers are saved by all the swapping and changing.


BURNLEY: Connor Roberts
It could have been anyone but Vincent Kompany dropped Roberts after he was sent off v Brentford. He has been rotten in a rotten side.


CHELSEA: Moises Caicedo
Ouch. There’s been a f*** of a lot of ‘meh’ for over £100m. Not getting through the defensive work (Conor Gallagher is overshadowing him there) and not creating anything at the other end of the pitch. Will his position be secure once Romeo Lavia is fit?

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It’s certainly not entirely his fault but he made a grand total of two saves in Palace’s last two defeats. It’s not a great look.


EVERTON: Ashley Young
Genuinely should not be playing Premier League football at the age of 38. Four yellow cards and a red in his last eight games. Give the man a rest. How bad can Nathan Patterson be?


FULHAM: Harrison Reed
An average player in an average Fulham side, doing most things relatively well. But his defensive stats are poor compared to the machine that is Joao Paulinha, while one Premier League assist is not a price worth paying for that drop in defensive quality from the Portuguese.


A brilliant player but a brilliant player who has been restricted to the bench for Liverpool’s last three Premier League games, with Diogo Jota preferred on the left. Such is the lot of being ‘not Mo Salah’ in that Liverpool attack. An injury to Jota should open the door again to Diaz.


LUTON TOWN: Marvelous Nakamba
Harsh as hell but there are three factors here: a) Only nine players qualify after starting eight games or more, 2) Nakamba has picked up four yellow cards but no goal contributions and iii) He missed the 2-1 win over Crystal Palace.


Well it’s got to be somebody. And Manchester City have conceded more goals than Arsenal or Liverpool.


No Premier League goals. No Premier League assists. That is all. Manchester United desperately need a striker.


Hasn’t done an awful lot wrong but has picked up a raft of yellow cards despite not being a particularly prolific tackler, while his creativity stats are poor. The disappointing (in many ways) Sandro Tonali does have a lower rating but he has not played enough football to be considered a regular.


He made no tackles and created no chances in his last two Premier League appearances against West Ham and Brighton, and those things are generally a little bit essential to being a central midfielder. Andrey Santos must be fuming.


SHEFFIELD UNITED: Anel Ahmedhodzic
They have conceded 34 goals in 13 games; it was always going to be a centre-half.


TOTTENHAM: Destiny Udogie
He has been done. Done by that red card and done by the fact that Richarlison has only started seven Premier League games.


WEST HAM: Nayef Aguerd
With an attack functioning pretty well on paper and a defence that tends towards leaky, it was always likely to be a defender. And the defender with the red card on his record is the obvious choice.


WOLVES: Joao Gomes
Genuinely could not pick the Brazilian out of a line-up. No goals, no assists, five yellow cards, only Conor Gallagher has committed more fouls in the Premier League this season.