Man Utd to ‘prove new Erik ten Hag truth’ if they beat team in 16th

Man Utd are 10th but a corner is being turned with that 7-0 win over Barnsley, which also saw Erik ten Hag laughing and everything.

I am the resurrection and I am the, erm, Erik
Manchester United have scored 10 goals to no reply this week. Some of you might point out that their opponents were the 19th-best team in the Premier League and the seventh-best team in League One. And some of you might point out that Manchester United are still 10th in the Premier League and already six points behind Manchester City, but that would be to p*** on the chips of the giddy Manchester Evening Propaganda News.

This is their moment. And they claim that ‘Manchester United could prove new Erik ten Hag truth in just 12 games’ as United return to the scene of their 4-0 defeat to Crystal Palace in May. Presumably the ‘new Erik ten Hag truth’ is that actually, he is quite brilliant.

‘Here we are, 11 games on from that debacle (if you include the Community Shield) and not only is Ten Hag still in charge at Old Trafford, but there is a growing sense he might just be turning a corner. Of those 11 games, six have been won, including an FA Cup final against Manchester City.’

It feels a tad churlish to point out that there’s only been 10 games since that Palace defeat (and we are generously including the Community Shield) but we do feel like if you’re going to run with a numbers-based headline then you really should make sure your numbers are right.

If anything, winning six of 10 is more impressive. Whoop. As long as we all ignore the back-to-back defeats to Brighton and Liverpool, the latter of which was a demolition job.

Thankfully the MEN have no entirely forgotten: ‘It’s also only two weeks since Ten Hag was teetering again, having lost back-to-back Premier League games to Brighton and Liverpool, so we shouldn’t be getting carried away just yet.’

You think?

You know if you’re having to work hard not to get ‘carried away’ by being in 10th, these are desperate times at Manchester United.

This is a tougher test of the foundations of the new United and a late September afternoon when we will find out whether they are built on quicksand or made of firmer stuff. If it’s the latter, then Ten Hag will have had his reputation enhanced, if not entirely resurrected, in just a dozen games.

Just 11 but whatever.

But at least they are keeping feet firmly on the ground by admitting that his reputation will not be ‘entirely resurrected’ by beating the team currently in 16th and without a victory this season.

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Rash decision
One man who is having something of a resurrection is Marcus Rashford, and he ‘will need the continued support of Manchester United to get back to his best, according to Bacary Sagna’.

It’s a pretty anodyne opening line from the Mirror because it is a pretty anodyne story. In a nutshell, a man unconnected to footballer known to have struggled for confidence says club need to support said footballer.

So of course this is the headline:

Man Utd dressing room handed Marcus Rashford challenge as new theory emerges

Their ‘challenge’ is to support their teammate. The ‘new theory’? That he might have been grieving the loss of two people close to him. As per an interview with his mother in The Times from March.

But you got your dirty click.

The winner takes it all
Back to the MEN and the giddiness is tricky to keep at bay. Especially when…

Alejandro Garnacho exchange shows Manchester United are improving in another area

Yes, Garnacho and Erik ten Hag having a light-hearted debrief at 6-0 really does show that things are looking very rosy at Manchester United. And definitely not that winning 6-0 makes everybody quite happy.

United’s game management has improved over the past week and so has Ten Hag’s man-management. Players are leaving the pitch buoyed, whether they have ended a goalscoring drought, played 90 minutes or just played.

Players are happier when they have won. More as we get it.

Frankly, you can f*** off
We get it. The draw between Manchester City and Inter Milan was pretty much inconsequential because this new Champions League format is a disaster without jeopardy. Desperate times.

But surely not so desperate that The Sun deem THIS the biggest story in football on Thursday morning:

Fans convinced Haaland told Inter Milan rival to ‘f*** off’ seconds after final whistle as Man City held to draw

First, he did tell an Inter Milan player to ‘f*** off’; writing ‘fans convinced’ is just a trick to make you think it was done in stealth.

Second, players swear all the time; they’re adults.

Third, he was laughing while clearly saying ‘f*** off’ because Francesco Acerbi was being a cheeky f***er (yes, we swear too).

All of which adds to to 4) it’s not news.