Man Utd to give Ten Hag a new contract as eight-year ‘Fat Man’ anniversary passes?

We are pretty much eight years to the day (Happy birthday?) since The Sun‘s Neil Custis challenged Louis van Gaal to a ‘points v pounds’ challenge after the Dutchman referred to him (a fat man) as ‘Fat Man’ during a press conference that followed a 3-3 draw with Newcastle United.

Custis had been and remained incredibly vocal in his condemnation of the below-par job Van Gaal was doing at Manchester United, culminating in a ‘challenge’ that Van Gaal – to his credit – never acknowledged.

It’s worth noting that Van Gaal has since taken the Netherlands on a 20-match unbeaten streak while Custis has unfortunately become quite a lot fatter, so we suspect that the Dutchman can safely be declared the eventual winner of this particular ‘contest’.

It’s also worth revisiting what Custis said on talkSPORT at the time about Van Gaal and his Manchester United reign:

“The way they play under him has probably been the worst Manchester United have in 35 years. Win, lose or draw – you come away from a United match at the moment in the same manner.

“They [Woodward and the Glazers] have given this manager everything he wants and bowed to every whim. In many ways, Ed Woodward has been the perfect boss for a manager.

“The manager has spent £250m and rising. What has he [Van Gaal] done with that money? I don’t think he’s wasted it on poor players. He’s bought good players, he’s just made them poor.”

Handily, Manchester United had played 21 Premier League games of that season just as Ten Hag’s Manchester United have played 21 games of this season. Isn’t that neat? So let’s take a little look at the numbers:

Man Utd 15/16 under Van Gaal: Played 21, Won 9, Drawn 7, Lost 5, Goals scored 27, Goals conceded 20, Points 34
Man Utd 23/24 under Ten Hag: Played 21, Won 10, Drawn 2, Lost 9, Goals scored 24, Goals conceded 29, Points 32

So this Manchester United side has scored fewer goals, conceded far more goals and claimed fewer points, leaving them further away from the top four. They also finished bottom of their Champions League group while United at least finished third under Van Gaal, keeping them in Europe after Christmas. Both sh*t but one definitely more sh*t than the other.

Oh and Ten Hag’s spent more than £400m.

This all feels relevant pretty much eight years to the day as Custis writes in The Sun about ‘Five things Man Utd must do to go from sleeping giants to Premier League dreamers as Ratcliffe prepares to take control’.

He writes ‘five things’ but really he just wants Manchester United to give a new contract to the manager who has won just one of his last six Premier League games and has made them incredibly painful to watch. Presumably because Ten Hag has never called him ‘Fat Man’.

SunSport revealed Ineos billionaire Sir Jim has already spoken with jobless Graham Potter, the former Chelsea and Brighton boss.

But what really needs to happen is for Ratcliffe to come out and give Ten Hag his full backing. Now.

The pair have already met and anyone who meets 53-year-old ETH cannot help but be impressed by him.

It’s a shame his Manchester United side is nowhere near as impressive. Mediawatch cannot help but think the performances of Manchester United might be more important to Manchester United investors than whether Ten Hag is an excellent communicator.

It might be this season is sacrificed as he continues to plot a path to sustained success.

Ten Hag has a contract until summer 2025 and he should get a new one now to show the club have faith in him.

It is time to back the boss, big time.

That last sentence is extraordinary. This is a Manchester United side with no discernible style who have somehow found themselves with an 18-year-old as their best midfielder. And yet it is time to back him? With a new contract and another £400m, perhaps?

Apparently, when Manchester United get their first-choice back four in place, they will be golden.

There is no doubt that if they get an injury-free run together, things will look much better at the back.

With those three and one from Diogo Dalot or Aaron Wan-Bissaka on the right, they can boast one of the Prem’s best back fours.

The same back four that allowed Tottenham 17 shots in a 2-0 defeat in August?

Then there’s the strikers…

If the 20-year-old Dane continues to grow into his role and Rashford finds his scoring boots again, United will be a real threat up front.

If ifs and buts were pots and pans, Manchester United might be justified in offering Ten Hag a new contract.

Apparently they also need to ‘sort out their keeper headache’, which is absolutely not Ten Hag’s fault. Oh no.

And then ‘make Old Trafford a fortress’ because of course that will be a piece of p***.

But the last and most important of the ‘five things Man Utd must do to go from sleeping giants to Premier League dreamers as Ratcliffe prepares to take control’ is to give Ten Hag a new contract. Because of course that is traditional when a team is struggling.

Ten Hag is the fifth permanent boss in the last ten years, alongside two caretakers and one interim gaffer.

The club is back at square one or maybe even further back than that.

Change does not bring the long-term stability required, which is why the club need to publicly back the Dutchman now with a new contract.

The board must have faith that what convinced them to employ him in the first place will finally lead them towards a return to the top.

Odd that Custis did not feel the same way about Van Gaal.