Jamie Vardy for free is the summer signing Man Utd must make…

Manchester United should sign Jamie Vardy. Stop laughing, I’m serious.

Those, including my F365 colleagues, with whom I’ve already shared this most scalding of takes have reacted with a mixture of hilarity and concern for my wellbeing. So I’ve given it further consideration and I’m doubling down; United absolutely should sign Vardy.

Here for free – important, that – is a proven goalscorer, a fox in the box, a nasty b*stard (meant entirely as a compliment) and a title winner who could take the number of Premier League champions in the Old Trafford dressing room to… one. Vardy would be an asset to Ruben Amorim, putting him in a very select group of Manchester United footballers.

I’m not ignoring the obvious point of contention: Vardy is old. Thirty-eight. Which in footballer years is ancient.

But he hasn’t got as many miles on the clock as veterans of a similar age. Vardy’s professional career started at 24; his Football League career at 25. Most of his contemporaries reach 14 years as a senior pro between 32 and 34.

And United absolutely don’t need Vardy for the future. Their outlay on wages will not be recouped and there will be no resale value. Not every signing can be viewed in such terms. But signing the ex-England striker could be seen as an investment in the younger forwards who so clearly need the spark and guidance Vardy could offer.

But more than a mentor, Vardy can still show how it’s done. In a genuinely awful Leicester side, he scored more Premier League goals than any United player last season, and in 35 appearances, he played more minutes than all but two of Amorim’s outfielders.

Right now, Amorim has one centre-forward he can call upon: Rasmus Hojlund. And they would sell him without hesitation if someone offered half the price they paid in 2023. The chances of that seem as low as the Dane’s goals record last season. And his confidence. But if they get him some help, in terms of service and a stand-in, it could yet work out if United are forced to make the best of him.

That is especially true since Liam Delap thought Chelsea – Todd Boehly’s Chelsea – were better trusted with his development. Even if Delap had been convinced to join United, they would still have needed a more experienced striker given they currently have none.

They might sign Bryan Mbeumo. And many would expect that to be a savvy addition. But what would they be signing in Mbeumo? Certainly not an out-and-out striker. Much of the appeal is the Cameroonian’s ability to play across the front line. He scored 20 goals last season, many of them while drifting in from the Brentford right, and it seems Amorim eyes Mbeumo more as a no.10.

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With Matheus Cunha already waiting to welcome Mbeumo if United stop irritating Brentford for long enough to get a deal done, United suddenly have creative options beyond Bruno Fernandes, who could be used in the deeper role Amorim liked for his skipper for much of last season.

But what good is all that creativity without someone to apply the finishing touch? If United somehow muster the money to buy a proven no.9 – not another 9.5 – their centre-forward pool is still perilously shallow, even allowing for the lighter workload without European involvement.

United haven’t been scared of recruiting veteran strikers. Zlatan Ibrahimovic was 35; Henrik Larsson was 34. Both were big hits at Old Trafford, for their influence in the dressing room as much as their impact in the box.

Vardy could have a similar impact. He insists he is not looking to wind down after leaving Leicester, and Ruud van Nistelrooy offered a glowing reference: “He is one of the most open and honest people I have met…he isn’t hard to manage.”

Like Zlatan for Jose Mourinho and Larsson for Fergie, Vardy would be a leader for Amorim, a manager with pitifully few such characters to lean on, and a goal threat where currently there is almost none.

Not such a daft idea after all…