Manchester United might not win the Quadruple after all. It’s almost like it was all absolute bollocks…
The quad game
We can only start in one place. And that’s with last week’s ludicrous quadruple mania.
Spare a thought for James Ducker of the Daily Telegraph after a rollercoaster week that began with ‘The five factors that will decide Manchester United’s quadruple bid’ (‘spirit and high standards’ in at No. 1), made a stop-off at ‘What a run United are on. What momentum they have. What spirit and togetherness they are showing’ after a late win over an abject West Ham and then ended with ‘The six moments which defined Manchester United’s second-half meltdown’ after an absolute thwacking by Liverpool.
It’s almost – and this seems crazy – like the quadruple was never actually on. Weird, right?
Here was the MailOnline headline on Tuesday:
‘Erik ten Hag ended Man United’s six-year trophy drought with glory in the Carabao Cup and now they have an outside shot of winning the QUADRUPLE… but what are their chances of a clean sweep?’
Mediawatch opted for ‘pretty f***ing slim’. It’s fair to say we were bang on.
We have now revisited that piece to see exactly how likely United were to win the Premier League, according to a professional football journalist: 3/10, ladies and gentleman, 3/10. Just six days later, you can get 40/1.
Then on Wednesday, Goal laughably brought us ‘Five reasons why Man Utd can win a quadruple’.
Question from Mediawatch: Can we now dismiss a Manchester United Quadruple as a naïve pipedream?
At least Neil Custis admitted in Thursday’s Sun that there was ‘still work to do’ before Manchester United can claim all four trophies.
By Sunday he was claiming that he absolutely, definitely, never got carried away:
‘There was even talk of an unprecedented quadruple.’
Talk like this, Neil?
‘Well make that a treble with one in the bag already.
‘Talk of a title tilt was always fanciful even if the maths told you it was possible.’
You literally wrote that ‘the momentum behind this club is mighty’, Neil. You said ‘they may need some more space in the Old Trafford museum where the silverware is stored for all to see’. Fanciful indeed.
But at least he didn’t describe this Manchester United as an ‘unstoppable juggernaut’ two days before they lost 7-0.
Four f***’s sake
On The Sun website on Monday: ‘Liverpool 7 Man Utd 0: Humiliation for Ten Hag’s side as biggest defeat for 92 YEARS leaves Quadruple dream in tatters’.
It was YOUR Quadruple dream, fellas.
Over on the Mirror website…
‘Jurgen Klopp being unable to answer press conference question sums up Man Utd humiliation.’
It was literally his own question about a Liverpool result after the 9-0 thrashing of Bournemouth.
It didn’t ‘sum up’ anything other than how difficult it is – even for a football manager – to remember every single result.
These are our Salah days
Imagine watching Mohamed Salah score two goals, assist twice and put in a man-of-the-match performance against Manchester United in a 7-0 thwacking and then writing this:
‘Mohamed Salah’s role at Liverpool is evolving… with Cody Gakpo and Darwin Nunez ascending, Jurgen Klopp no longer relies on him like he once did and for the first time in a long time it is possible to imagine a future without him’
Congratulations to Ian Ladyman of the Daily Mail for starting to write at 3-0 when the only Liverpool goalscorers were Cody Gakpo and Darwin Nunez and carrying manfully on regardless of what was unfolding in front of him. It takes a special kind of writer.
It’s odd because same writer showed real imagination and ingenuity elsewhere, writing:
‘They didn’t have goals in them on Sunday but until they fell apart in the second half they did carry a certain menace.
‘All of which makes you wonder what they will do at centre forward this summer. They will have to buy someone for sure.
‘Marcus Rashford played through the middle at Anfield. He can do it but it’s not his natural berth. He is happier and better coming off the flanks.
‘Anthony Martial is supposed to be a centre forward but after seven and a half years at the club it’s still hard to know what he is as well as, much of the time, where he is. He was absent injured once again at Anfield.
‘So where do United go? To the transfer market this summer, it seems.’
It’s quite the insight from quite the expert. You simply cannot buy that level of knowledge. Just don’t ask him to come up with any ideas beyond Harry Kane.
You will be utterly shocked to learn that Manchester United’s players turned up for work on Monday after losing 7-0 to Liverpool on Sunday.
‘Glum Manchester United stars arrive for a 9am dressing down after their Liverpool humiliation… with Erik ten Hag – who ‘turned up TWO HOURS earlier’ – to grill his players over 7-0 Anfield shocker’ – MailOnline.
‘Manchester United players report early for meeting with Erik ten Hag after Liverpool humiliation’ – Manchester Evening News.
‘Manchester United players arrive for meeting with ETH after Liverpool thrashing’ – CaughtOffside.
All of which might be ‘news’ if Manchester United’s players were not always scheduled to come in at 9am for recovery sessions, 7am was a particularly early start (Mediawatch started work TWO HOURS earlier than 9am, too) and if there actually was a ‘meeting’ and not just, well, work.