‘Arteta’s job doesn’t appear to be in any danger’? No sh*t

Date published: Wednesday 22nd July 2020 12:21

Mikel Arteta is WORSE than Unai Emery at Arsenal. Dani Ceballos took some corners. And Liverpool have a ‘reported’ target.


Give them enough Europa
‘Arsenal cannot now qualify for the Europa League through their position in the Premier League table…’ – Dave Kidd, The Sun.

‘Arsenal still needed points to keep their European hopes alive on two fronts…Now all their eggs are going into one basket against London rivals Chelsea in the FA Cup final’ – Graeme Bryce, The Sun.

Had Arsenal won, they would have needed to beat Watford with Wolves losing to Chelsea and Tottenham failing to win against Crystal Palace on the final day, all while overhauling a goal differential of at least six, to finish above them both.

Their eggs were probably in the FA Cup basket before losing to Aston Villa, guys.


Managing expectations
Not that they stand a chance against Chelsea in the final. The Sun website has crunched the numbers and returned gleefully with their findings.

‘Arteta has WORSE Arsenal record after 19 games than last four managers having won eight points fewer than flop Emery’

Considering the very graphic you use shows Arsene Wenger won five points fewer than ‘flop Emery’ in his first 19 games, you might forgive Mediawatch for not putting too much stock in such a revelation. Unless you are suggesting the latter was a better Arsenal manager?

After all, why take into account relevant contextual information such as Arteta being appointed in December by a team that was 11th and had no money to support him, compared to Emery taking charge in May of a side that had just finished sixth, reached a European semi-final and had a budget exceeding £70m?

Why not instead examine the contrast between Emery’s last 19 games (W6 D7 L6 F26 A30 Pts25) and Arteta’s first 19 (W8 D6 L5 F29 A19 Pts30)? That feels far more constructive and instructive; they had roughly the same players at their disposal and restrictions in place for a start.

But what is the point in that when you can just commit lines like this to print instead:

‘Arteta’s job at the Emirates doesn’t appear to be in any danger despite the inconsistent results.’

Shock as man given three-and-a-half-year contract is not going to be sacked seven months in despite overseeing upturn in performances and results – and reaching a sodding FA Cup final – in incredibly challenging circumstances.

F*** it all off and bring Bruce Rioch back.


Taking the Mik
It wouldn’t be so bad if they hadn’t published this back in February.

‘Arteta’s appalling win ratio at Arsenal WORSE than Ljungberg and Emery and Spaniard has second-worst record since WWI’

Can things possibly get any WORSE at a club 90 minutes away from qualifying for Europe?


The real stumbling block in Arsenal’s evolution is there to see


Nursey rhyme
The most inadvertently damning critique of Arsenal’s performance is delivered by James Nursey of the Daily Mirror, whose assessment of Dani Ceballos reads thus:

‘Spanish midfielder took corners and played higher up pitch in second half’

For that, he is given a 7/10. Literally every other Arsenal player is rated 6. Bloody good corners.


Kylian me softly
‘PSG star Kylian Mbappe makes future statement after Liverpool links’ – Liverpool Echo.


‘Liverpool target Mbappe wants Paris Saint Germain stay’ – ESPN.


‘Kylian Mbappe to Liverpool transfer prediction made as Jurgen Klopp backed to add to squad’ – Daily Express website.



Express delivery
Actually, what is that ‘Kylian Mbappe to Liverpool transfer prediction’? Sounds interesting.

Take it aw…oh balls it’s Neil Mellor.

“I’m sure the fans will they want their own individual superstar but Klopp hasn’t been able to get the superstar – he has turned players into superstars Mane and Salah, so we may see another player like this.”

To be clear, the only quote that mentions Mbappe is the revelation that the World Cup winner “is going to be a world-class footballer”. So the ‘Kylian Mbappe to Liverpool transfer prediction’ is both a prediction that Kylian Mbappe won’t be joining Liverpool because they don’t “get the superstar”, and also not a bloody prediction at all.



F365 Shithouse headline of the day
‘Liverpool urged to sign dream duo in summer transfer splurge’

By Neil Mellor.

For f***’s sake, Will Ford.


You’ve got Ismaila
One player Liverpool might sign is apparently Ismaila Sarr. The MailOnline say so.

They claim on Wednesday morning that Liverpool ‘are ‘monitoring” the Watford winger. At least that is the situation ‘as reported by the Mirror’.

Transfer trail it is.

A hyperlink is handily provided that leads us to a ‘Liverpool transfer roundup’ live blog from Monday morning, in which it is said that Sarr ‘is reportedly a target for the champions’. The word ‘monitoring’ is nowhere to be seen – they say Liverpool are ‘reportedly keeping an eye’ on him – so who the Mail were quoting is a mystery.

The Mirror do not attribute the rumour. These cheeky sods are making Mediawatch work for it.

A quick search brings us to a story published on Sunday on the Mirror’s website again, which once more says only that Liverpool ‘are reportedly interested’ in Sarr. The one outbound link they include is to sister site Liverpool.com, who state ‘there has been reported interest’ from the Reds.

Reported by who?!

That, infuriatingly, is where the trail ends: with a Liverpool-centric website trying to cover every possible angle of one club creating national transfer news that lasts a ‘reported’ three days.


You’re like a storm against the window
With all due respect to Federico Macheda and Andrej Kramaric, not even they would include themselves on a list of ‘the amazing players who won the Premier League title but missed out on a winners’ medal’.

Although they might if they were tasked with producing content for The Sun’s website.


Yacht on earth
Either that or they’d use their journalist contacts (someone’s Instagram account) to keep us all updated on the most important running story in the world today.

These headlines have all appeared on the football homepage of The Sun’s website in the past four weeks.

‘Inside Cristiano Ronaldo’s stunning yacht breaks as Georgina Rodriguez films boat speeding through water from bedroom’

‘Georgina Rodriguez shares stunning new bikini belfie pics from loved up super-yacht trip with Cristiano Ronaldo’

‘Cristiano Ronaldo enjoys getaway on HUGE yacht as stunning partner Georgina Rodriguez serves him dessert’

‘Cristiano Ronaldo’s girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez shows off dazzling diamond ring as she relaxes on £30k-a-week yacht’

‘Cristiano Ronaldo relaxes on £30,000-a-week yacht with Georgina Rodriguez and pals ahead of Genoa clash’

‘Cristiano Ronaldo whisks Georgina Rodriguez away on £15m holiday yacht as loved-up couple sunbathe on deck’

What the jolly christ is a ‘belfie’?


Recommended reading of the day
Ben Fisher on the Championship.

Melissa Reddy on Liverpool and ‘the slip’.


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