Bellingham is collateral damage in furious rant at ‘loser’ White for refusing to take up England arms

Editor F365 15 Mar 2024 11:42 AM

Arsenal defender Ben White and Real Madrid player Jude Bellingham with the England badge

Jude Bellingham has been dragged into the Ben White drama

Ben White choosing to turn down an England call-up has infuriated the usual suspects, but Jude Bellingham getting dragged into it was certainly unexpected.

Powell to the people
The general reaction to spotting a Jeff Powell byline in 2024 is pretty much the same as that meme of Ian Wright seeing an old school teacher he assumed to have died. This is a man whose particular brand of nonsense was so laughably dated when Mediawatch was regularly dissecting it 20 odd years ago, who barely writes about football if indeed anything at all now, whose nickname of Rowley Birkin QC will probably perplex a great many readers – and his shtick has absolutely not changed.

Funnily enough, Powell has inevitably gone all 2014 Wrighty – ‘The next young player who says he does not want to play for England should be ordered to ring the parents of a soldier who has died serving his country in Afghanistan and tell them his reasons’ – in his latest Daily Mail column.

Of course he has been wheeled out for this. Of course he has written about the Benjamin White situation. Of course he is performatively furious. Of course he immediately equates not wanting to play for England to ‘refusing to join up if this proud nation issued a call to arms in the event of Vlad the Invader setting his sights on Western Europe’.

And of course he calls it ‘Zelensky’s war’. Because it was definitely him who instigated it.

‘It is reasonable to presume that Ben White – given that he defected from England’s squad midway through the Qatar World Cup – would be among the refuseniks,’ Powell begins, and it is good to know the bar for what he deems to be ‘reasonable’ has already been placed far below the actual ground.

No real reason was given for his taking a premature flight home.

Perhaps not absolutely every piece of information needs to be public knowledge. No-one has a God-given right to know. And besides, there is enough information out there on the potential friction between White and Steve Holland that has been reported on by actually respectable journalists to paint a decent picture of what has happened.

‘Whatever the excuse, there appears very little doubt that he put personal before patriotic,’ Powell continues. And at this point Mediawatch has to ask: Yeah, and…? Is it a particular problem to put oneself before one’s country? The Royal Family are off mastering PhotoShop and [REDACTED] and, well, the Tories. Even without any added context, it seems quite sensible not to prioritise Rule, Britannia!

You could also argue White has simply put club before country. No doubt Powell would be incensed by that – probably even more so – but only one of those pays him and plays him so old man must continue to yell at cloud.

Frankly, no footballer should refuse to turn up for his country. Whether it be on the pitch, on the bench or even in the stands. If White breaks his silence and offers a GENUINE reason for his decision, I am willing to let him off.

Very noble of you. White will presumably be thrilled to learn he can still salvage his reputation in the eyes of an 81-year-old boxing writer. And how brilliant to see Powell adopting the house style MailOnline RANDOM SHOUTING. He’s not lost his touch. Well…

But let’s have it right, Ben. While kicking your heels instead of a ball can be a mite frustrating, it does not carry the risk of a lifetime never again being able to kick a ball because your legs have been severely injured.

Oh good lord. What a deeply unhinged sentence. It reads like a threat. It shows that Powell understands football and conscription might actually be slightly different after all. Maybe we shouldn’t give soldiers Benjamin White’s wages or sunbeds after all.

And by the way, there is no pulling out of the frontline because your girlfriend has caught Covid.

Are things okay at home, Jeff? Is everyone well? Is this an existential cry for help? Always good to hear from an expert of fighting on the ‘frontline’ either way but we are worried.

Ben White and Gareth Southgate.

Really Ben, would it have been such a hardship just to cheer the rest of the lads on for a couple of weeks? When your fans have spent all their savings on getting to the World Cup and would have to find more hard-earned shillings to stay in the desert if England reached the final?

a) they didn’t, b) Mediawatch would love to meet these fans of White who specifically flew to Qatar in the forlorn hope of watching him play for England, and c) lovely non-problematic mention of ‘the desert’.

Southgate had swallowed his dismay and actually wanted this wretch to be available for a couple of friendlies this month with an eye to re-selection for this summer’s Euros. Staggeringly, Arsenal got on the phone to the FA to say he wouldn’t be making himself available.

Let’s add ‘staggeringly’ to that list of words we have differing definitions of, right alongside ‘reasonable’.

Within a couple more paragraphs, Powell obviously writes:

The next Bryan Robson – England’s greatest tackling, creating, scoring, turbo-charged, all-round midfield player – will not be found among the wimps or the overinflated egos.

Because this is no longer about Benjamin White, but all England players. Or perhaps just this generation of Englishmen. Or perhaps just people who aren’t Bryan Robson.

Confirmation of such arrives in the next paragraph:

Nor among those who declare themselves too wearied by a few club matches to present themselves for national duty. That includes you, Master Bellingham, who asked not to be called up in October 2021.

And now Jude sodding Bellingham is catching strays. His crime? Withdrawing himself from selection for one England squad – games against Andorra and Hungary – to try and avoid burnout on the back of his first season of elite, top-flight football in the Bundesliga and Champions League.

Bellingham is 20, has 27 international caps and is thriving for Real Madrid but should definitely just play as much football as possible, because that worked out unbelievably well for similar teenage wonderkids like Wayne Rooney and Michael Owen when it came to elongating their careers at the highest level and their bodies not just breaking down earlier than expected.

If my great mate Bobby Moore were still with us today, he would tell Bellingham: ‘Hey Jude, get your priorities sorted out.’

Mediawatch must have missed the time Bellingham went out drinking the night before and into the early hours of the morning of an actual match. Priorities and all that, Jude.

If my father were still alive, he would be mortified to know that White plays for the Gunners. Not through any affiliation to Arsenal but because he fought through the Second World War in the Royal Artillery.

Having, by the way, lied about being younger than his age so as to be eligible for being drafted.

Benny may delude himself that he’s one of the Jets. Afraid not. He’s a loser.

What a suitable way to end perhaps the most nonsensical trail of senile thought Mediawatch has had the displeasure of reading recently. But Powell writing about such an emotive subject does bring to mind the time he demanded an apology from Raheem Sterling for daring to honour his own dead father.

Perhaps he should stop trying to bully and demonise people more than 50 years his junior. At the very least his writing privileges need to be revoked.

Ply your trade
Mediawatch regrets to inform you that the MailOnline absolutely know full well what they are doing.

Erik ten Hag is on chore duty as the Man United boss heads to the shops for luxury toilet tissue just days before Old Trafford FA Cup clash against rivals Liverpool

Which is a real shame. The joke isn’t quite as funny when they are so obviously in on it.

But what is funny is this line: