The worst England squad take? ‘Tuchel has gone for experience over youth in direct contrast to Southgate’

Gareth Southgate was famously all about youth over experience for England so it must be tough having to look at that first Thomas Tuchel squad announcement.

We don’t talk about Bruno
‘IT’S safe to assume Jim Ratcliffe was not talking about Bruno Fernandes when he groaned about certain Manchester United players being ‘overpaid and not good enough’,’ writes Martin Blackburn in the opening paragraph of his match report from Old Trafford for The Sun.

And, well, yes it really is. Not sure there was much doubt about that before he scored a hat-trick against Real Sociedad but fair enough.

Spot on
Quite why The Sun continue to send actual journalists to attend games is a mystery when they can and indeed do just scour social media for stories. Here is one of their latest groundbreaking offerings:

‘Fans spot Patrick Dorgu’s incredibly classy gesture in Man Utd win’

Nothing gets past those ‘fans’. Dorgu telling the referee he shouldn’t have awarded a penalty was, of course, ‘spotted’ by literally everyone including the commentators and the people who decided to show a slow-motion replay of Dorgu telling the referee he shouldn’t have awarded a penalty, but thank the lord the ‘fans’ noticed on Twitter or it might have passed us all by.

Where there’s a Will…
This is all obviously quite secondary to the big news on Friday: the return of palpable anger surrounding an England squad announcement!

Before Thomas Tuchel revealed his first selection as manager, The Sun understandably went all out on their exclusive interview with Prince William, who is obviously at one stage described as ‘footy-mad’ despite being 42.

But it turns out he believes England, joint-second favourites to win the 2026 World Cup after finishing runners-up in the last two Euros, ‘CAN win the 2026 World Cup’. Stick that up yer.

The best part is where he ‘reveals what he thinks of new England boss Tuchel,’ and shockingly enough he doesn’t immediately reference his nationality or ‘merchants of woke’.

‘The FA received criticism for choosing a foreigner rather than an Englishman,’ writes head of sport Shaun Custis, who was presumably dressed as a hot dog at the time while shouting “We’re all trying to find the guy who did this!”.

And that is geared towards this headline-demanding quote from Prince William, who will surely reopen the can of worms and ask why Gary Rowett wasn’t in the running.

Here we go…

“I understand the debate around having an English manager. But, to me, it should be the best person for the job – and Thomas is exactly the right person. Without doubt he is one of the top five managers in the world.”

You can sense the tabloid disappointment at the big Prince deliberately missing the open goal they set up.

Hit the road, Jack
Mediawatch understands the reflex to make any England omissions headline news but Sky Sports, the Daily Telegraph, The Athletic and the Daily Mirror website leading on Jack Grealish, who has played 283 minutes for his country since the start of 2024, is barely featuring for Manchester City and has struggled all season with injury, being left out is just weird.

It would be more surprising if he had been picked. There’s a perfectly ridiculous Jordan Henderson call-up to focus on right there.

Tuch of exaggeration
John Cross does precisely that for the Daily Mirror, questioning the ‘utter bizarre’ decision to reinstate a 34-year-old midfielder not guaranteed to start for an average Ajax side.

Absolutely right. It’s weird. But this is nonsense:

‘His inclusion just highlights that Tuchel has gone for experience over youth which is in direct contrast to Gareth Southgate and Lee Carsley.’

Carsley we will give you, although his squads were the most ‘I am managing England for six games and want to establish some sort of legacy by handing out as many debut caps as possible’ imaginable.

Tuchel has similarly called up four uncapped players and the average age of his squad is 25 years and eight months, only fractionally higher than Carsley’s (25 years and four months).

But Southgate? Gareth Actual Southgate? ‘Experience over youth…is in direct contrast to Gareth Southgate’?! Has Mediawatch gone insane?

‘Maybe we should say give the new guy a chance. It is his way. But there is something exciting about youth and rather dull about experience.’

Oh aye, Southgate was famous for being more ‘exciting’ than ‘dull’ as England manager.

He went slightly mad at Euro 2024, picking a few players with a handful of caps in his squad. But that was the direct consequence of a massive panic over not quite being able to justify picking *checks notes* Jordan sodding Henderson.

Southgate spent the whole Euros sacrificing the entire left-hand side of his team by picking a 33-year-old Kieran Trippier out of position there, with 34-year-old Kyle Walker on the other side. He took an injured Luke Shaw with him to play specifically in the knockouts, instead of choosing any number of fit and in-form younger left-backs as an alternative. His continued selection of Harry Maguire became a national crisis. He blamed England being atrocious on not having “a natural replacement for Kalvin Phillips”, who again he flirted with selecting until the very last moment despite beds in Manchester City and West Ham having been consistently soiled for years.

And that was just at the last tournament of a manager who frequently picked players like Conor Coady for years specifically because of their experience. The idea that ‘experience over youth…is in direct contrast to Gareth Southgate’ is a preposterous thing to commit to print.

Captain slog
Perhaps the only thing better than an England squad announcement is the press conference which follows it, and with it a reminder of why the British press is often seen as a laughing stock.

It started well, with Tuchel being asked whether he sees the players he has picked for World Cup qualifiers in March 2025 as realistic options to play in the World Cup in the summer of 2026, as if he was ever going to turn around and say, ‘Nah, actually Dan Burn is here for a laugh and has no chance of being chosen next year’.

The workshy German fop was also predictably quizzed on his working arrangements – “I don’t really get the point of the story” is a wonderful quote – and Henry Winter used one of his two questions to chat about the climactic conditions in the United States in 15 months’ time.

But Tuchel having to confirm that Harry Kane will quite obviously remain his captain was a lovely reminder of something only this small island ever seems to care one jot about.