Treating me like a Rose
Mediawatch has said it so regularly that it’s annoying us as well as you, but when the opposite of a story is more interesting, the original is hardly a story at all. Take The Sun on Danny Rose drinking a pint of beer, for example.
‘DANNY ROSE will escape any punishment from Tottenham for boozing in public just 72 hours before his side’s crunch match at home to Chelsea. The left-back was seen on TV with a pint in his hand watching the PDC’s World Championships semi-finals in London on Sunday.’
There had been no suggestion that Rose would face sanction, nor even that anyone at Tottenham was unhappy with him. At least ‘boozing in public’ made us laugh.
‘Tottenham star Danny Rose enjoyed a pint among the 3,000-strong crowd at the darts. Many would have been shocked to see the defender necking alcohol so soon after starring in Spurs’ 4-1 win at Watford earlier that day.’
‘Necking alchohol’. God bless you, hyperbolic language. Given that Antonio Conte allows his players to drink a beer in the changing room after games, we’re not sure that there is any limit on how ‘so soon’ after a match is advisable.
‘And it came just ahead of Tottenham’s biggest game of the season so far, when they host Premier League leaders Chelsea on Wednesday.’
By ‘just ahead’, The Sun mean 72 hours before. Will he still be p*ssed?
‘But White Hart Lane boss Mauricio Pochettino is prepared to overlook the incident as Rose was on a night off, did not get drunk and has performed so spectacularly this season.’
So ‘footballer drinks one beer and nobody is bothered’, then. Disgusting.
The strange ubiquity of Chris Sutton #1
Chris Sutton is the latest in a list of pundits who have spotted that saying outrageous things is the key to suddenly being all over the media.
On BT Sport on Monday, Sutton had his typically outspoken say on David Moyes and Sunderland:
“Sunderland have no chance. They are down. I think David Moyes could walk – maybe after today, but certainly very soon. They are a hopeless cause. David Moyes knows it. Everybody knows it.”
And there you have it. No evidence that Moyes would walk, no insight as to why he might be leaving, no inside knowledge. Just a man saying “I think” and then offering a ballsy (and quickly disproven) opinion.
The strange ubiquity of Chris Sutton #2
Speaking of Sutton (we told you he was everywhere), in the Daily Mail on Monday he wrote a column in which he predicted ten transfers that would happen in the January window. First on the list was Antoine Griezmann to Manchester United. Sure.
‘Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been sensational but United will need a long-term replacement for the 35-year-old. Although they could wait until the summer, United have the money and it would be worth going the whole hog now [to sign Griezmann] to boost their chances of making the top four.’
There is only one man in football who thinks Manchester United will sign Griezmann this month. Luckily, that man is prepared to repeat his opinion for money.
C-c-called a u-turn
‘United are having a lot of shots but not enough of them are finding the back of the net. The problem is they do not have a top-class striker at the very peak of his powers. Zlatan Ibrahimovic is doing a job of sorts but is 35.
‘Before a ball was kicked, it looked like Mourinho had the best of the summer transfer window. But while Ibrahimovic and Bailly have looked decent acquisitions, Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Paul Pogba have not. World-record £89million signing Pogba has been a big letdown’ – Neil Custis, The Sun, November 29.
‘The side under previous boss Louis van Gaal was faceless, lacking in any identity. There were no characters, no big noise, no reason to race to the club shop to have a name put on the back of your shirt. Now you have Zlatan Ibrahimovich (sic), Paul Pogba and, of course, Henrikh Mkhitaryan. In him United once more have a player who can draw you to the edge of your seat, leave you guessing as to what is going to happen next, even rubbing your eyes in disbelief as he did with his scorpion kick goal on Monday.
Then, of course, there is Ibrahimovich (sic). A striker to be feared. He hit his 17th goal of the campaign on Boxing Day, the total Anthony Martial racked up for the whole of last season to finish as United’s top scorer’ – Neil Custis, The Sun, January 2.
From below ‘top-class’ to ‘a striker to be feared’. Any more goals and Custis/The Sun will learn to spell Ibrahimovic’s name correctly.
Through the Metro filter
Julian Draxler has joined Paris St Germain from Wolfsburg.
“It is with great joy and anticipation that I join Paris Saint-Germain. For the first time in my career, I’m going to discover a new country, a new league, and I’m very proud to take this new step at a club which has become a benchmark in Europe and has signed a lot of great players in recent years. I will do everything to help PSG win new trophies and continue to grow internationally.”
*Through the Metro filter*
‘Julian Draxler reveals why he snubbed Arsenal to join Paris Saint-Germain.’
Keep it up, guys.
Alexis on fire
— Mirror Football (@MirrorFootball) January 1, 2017
— afcstuff (@afcstuff) October 2, 2016
Of all the bloody sticks to pick up…
Football is a game of opinions, so a big shout out to The Sun’s Phil Thomas for picking Steve Bruce’s header for Manchester United against Sheffield Wednesday when asked for his greatest ever Premier League goal.
Important, yes. Greatest? Not for us to say…
A good three weeks
‘Koeman says Everton’s dire form shows team lacks balance & he needs to fix it’ – Liverpool Echo, December 12.
‘Barcelona contact Everton boss Ronald Koeman about becoming their next boss as Luis Enrique decides on new deal’ – The Sun, January 3.
Advice of the day
“Sell Payet for £30m, and then go out and buy Martial for £20m, who is a 21-year-old kid” – Paul Merson offers West Ham some sage advice on Sky Sports.
It really is as simple as that.
Confusing headline pun of the day
The Sun’s headline on the Sunderland vs Liverpool match report is ‘SPOTIFRY’, a pun on the popular music streaming service. Mediawatch suddenly sounds dreadfully middle-aged.
Now perhaps you can help us out. We understand that the ‘spot’ refers to Jermain Defoe’s two penalties, but what is the ‘fry’ all about?
Answers on a postcard, please. Honestly, it’s been bugging us all morning.
Filthy headline of the day
‘Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho has his mojo back and it is rubbing off on everyone around him’ – The Sun.
And I don’t agree with that in the workplace.
Recommended reading of the day
Ben Fisher on scorpion kicks.
Matt Pearson with David Wagner.
Bob Bradley on his time at Swansea City.