Jadon Sancho aside, Man Utd ‘future is bright’ after Hojlund assisted assist to non-goal

Editor F365
Manchester United striker Rasmus Hojlund
Manchester United striker Rasmus Hojlund

Manchester United fans might be feeling sorry for themselves but do they not realise that Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho have provided ‘good news’ despite 3-1 defeat.


In something of a stew
Jadon Sancho has obviously not been called up by England so this is how The Sun are reporting the latest news from Carrington:

Man Utd boss Erik ten Hag leaves Jadon Sancho to stew training with fringe players as he heads off on holiday amid row

Actually, Gareth Southgate has left Sancho with the Manchester United ‘fringe players’, who include Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Anthony Martial, who started Sunday’s Premier League defeat at Arsenal. Which is pretty good going for ‘fringe players’.

And we really are enjoying the implication that Ten Hag has ‘headed off on holiday’ because of this ‘row’. He’s probably had it in the diary for a while, fellas.


Millions and millions
Sometimes Mediawatch reads a headline that is seemingly nonsense and knows immediately how that nonsense has emerged. There are tricks and sleights of hand that can be instantly spotted by an expert in such utter shit. And then there are headlines like this one from the Manchester Evening News, keen to grab some Jadon Sancho clicks:

Jadon Sancho has given Erik ten Hag a simple £9m decision to make at Manchester United

Money really does beget money but where does that £9m figure come from? Is it Jadon Sancho’s wages? Is it the money it would cost to pay off Sancho?

Of course not. Because that would make sense. The ‘£9m decision’ is apparently whether to retain Facundo Pellistri, who once cost Manchester United £9m. So any decision about him is apparently a ‘£9m decision’.

It seems churlish to point out that neither Sancho nor Pellestri are actually starting games for Manchester United so all this is close to irrelevant, and frankly that would distract from our main objection to this headline: It really is awful shit.


Actually, Man Utd are bloody brilliant
Elsewhere, the propaganda machine that is the Manchester Evening News want to assure us that Manchester United being in 11th after losing yet another Premier League away game is immaterial because, and this will instantly change your mind if you were feeling at all pessimistic…

Alejandro Garnacho’s message to Rasmus Hojlund is good news for Manchester United

Yes, losing 3-1 to Arsenal is by no means ideal, but turn those Manchester United frowns upside down because Garnacho commented on an anodyne Rasmus Hojlund post with the words ‘We will be back together’ and two emojis. Now that really is ‘good news’.

In order for this to be cast as ‘good news’ it is essential to believe that Hojlund performed extraordinarily well at the Emirates on Sunday, when he had nine touches, lost the ball with a poor touch twice, and completed two of his three passes.

We are being a tad facetious because of course Hojlund was involved in the build-up to an offside goal, but are we really to believe that a ‘glimpse into the future link-up between Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho should set pulses racing’?

There is some talk of VAR ‘stepping in to spoil the party’, which is bollocks because it was an offside goal but carry on…

United had somehow gone from 2-1 up to 3-1 down and amid the disappointment, it would be easy to forget the promise shown by Hojlund on his debut. Almost a month after signing, the 20-year-old got his first taste of Premier League football and did not look out of place one bit.

He did not really touch the ball an awful lot but he did ‘put himself about a bit’, which is apparently all that is needed to ‘set pulses racing’ at Manchester United these days. Following Anthony Martial really is the easiest job in football.

The striker produced a lovely flick from Bruno Fernandes’ loose pass, opening up the game with one touch as Casemiro then played in the Reds winger. And while there was a 31-year-old midfield veteran in the middle of it all, the link-up between two of the club’s most exciting young players should be a sign of things to come.

So they didn’t actually link up because it was Casemiro who played the pass into Garnacho? This seems important amid all this frantic masturbation.

United supporters got an early glimpse of what is to come at the Emirates, with Hojlund and Garnacho both looking electric and gelling together instantly. At 20 and 19 respectively, it would be easy to hide under the pressure of such a huge occasion but both came off the bench and impacted the game – which is more than can be said for many of those who have started in attack so far this season.

‘Gelling together instantly’ as they did not once actually link up together is truly excellent. And both really did ‘impact the game’, which ended in a 3-1 defeat after they both came on at 1-1?

Supporters will hope that when he (Garnacho) is on the pitch, Hojlund is too. The international break may be glum for the Reds, but the future is bright.

Convinced yet?

Over in the Express, under the utterly bizarre headline of ‘Man Utd boss Erik ten Hag has a problem with three players including Rasmus Hojlund’, we are told that ‘The Danish summer signing enjoyed an impactful debut and only millimetres denied him an assist for Alejandro Garnacho, whose goal was ruled out for offside’.

Well, millimetres and Casemiro touching the ball in between.