Mediawatch: Klopp and Rafa get ‘spooky’

Date published: Friday 9th October 2015 12:28

Plus, the transfer committee that didn’t seem to stop Jurgen taking the job, and an attack from 2008…


Forever and ever omen
‘Jurgen Klopp omens suggest he can restore Liverpool to its former glory’ is the Metro’s take on Liverpool’s charming new manager.

So what are these omens? Or ‘spooky similarities’, as the Metro would have it.

Spooky similiarity 1): ‘Klopp signed his three-year contract in the sixth boardroom of the appropriately named Hope Street Hotel – which is exactly the same place where Benitez signed his in June 2004.’

Spooky similiarity 2): ‘Benitez’s first league game in charge of Liverpool was Tottenham away.’

‘You can’t deny that the omens look good.’

Oh you really sodding can.


Omen II
The Daily Mirror website’s
Row Zed team were so impressed with Metro’s ‘spooky’ story that they tweeted their own version.

It’s ‘errie’ alright.

‘Klopp has promised a trophy within four years at Anfield – but could one arrive even sooner now we’ve discovered this omen?’ writes Jim Daly, before detailing the exact same ‘spooky’ coincidences as the Metro. What’s spooky is that they independently came up with exactly the same ‘story’.

He writes: ‘If it somehow ends 1-1 with Jermain Defoe and Djibril Cisse getting the goals we will official freak out.’

It’s fair to say that Mediawatch has official already lost its sh*t.


Committee meeting
Joe Bernstein, MailOnline, September 27: ‘Jurgen Klopp would demand the end of Liverpool’s transfer committee if he is to succeed Brendan Rodgers as Liverpool manager.’

Martin Samuel, Daily Mail, October 6: ‘Klopp is none too keen on having a word with the committee every time he wishes to buy a player.’

Jurgen Klopp, October 9, when asked about the transfer committee: “It was not a problem for 10 seconds. We talked about it. For me it is enough that I have the first and the last words. We only want to discuss about very good players. I’m not a genius, I don’t know more than the rest of the world. I need the people who get the perfect information.”


Beep beep beep
Two days after the Daily Mail’s Neil Ashton wrote that ‘Liverpool’s head of technical performance Michael Edwards is the laptop guru who did a number on Brendan Rodgers’ – clearly intimating that Rodgers lost his job partly because of the geek with the laptop whose list of crimes included sending e-mails, not being a footballer and doing the statistical analysis for which he was paid – Ashton is back to put a few things straight.

He writes in Friday’s ‘THE FOOTBALL COLUMN’ (for there can be no other) that although the transfer committee has been ‘blamed for the disastrous sequence of signings under Brendan Rodgers’ (by Ashton), Rodgers actually had the final say on all transfers and that he ‘authorised all the arrivals’.

The conclusion? ‘With a watertight contract, Rodgers must take his share of the blame.’

It reads a little bit like a correction. Obviously it can’t be; the man who writes ‘THE FOOTBALL COLUMN’ is never wrong.


Promises promises

Erm, no he didn’t. He really didn’t.


Ever-decreasing banter
‘Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp makes hilarious comparison with Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho’ – The Daily Express online wee themselves. He called himself ‘The Normal One’, you see! It’s like the Special One!

Five minutes later…

‘The NORMAL One! Jurgen Klopp makes funny comparison to Jose Mourinho at unveiling’ – Poor Jurgen, his bantz have been officially downgraded. Did they realise that Avram Grant said it first?


Eight days a week
‘Five things Manchester United must resolve before Premier League resumes’ is the demanding headline on Mark Ogden’s piece on the Daily Telegraph website. Ogden is giving the Dutchman eight days to sort out his sh*t.

We’re not sure ‘How long to persevere with Wayne Rooney’ is a problem that can be solved in the next eight days but we are a damned certain that ‘Three games that could shape the season’ cannot be sorted before the first one even takes place. And as for ‘Where to strenghten in January’ – he might want to wait until maybe January. Just an idea.


Seven-year bitch
Mediawatch is rarely speechless but this from Andrew Dillon in Friday’s Sun rendered us silent for two to three minutes.

‘JOSE MOURINHO has launched an incredible attack on Leicester boss Claudio Ranieri,’ writes Dillon, before quoting that nasty man Mourinho as saying the following:

“He has lived for five years in England and still has trouble saying ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon’.

“He is almost 70 and has won a Super Cup and another small cup. He’s too old to change his mentality.”

Which sounded a tad familiar. Thankfully the Mail have excellent archiving and we found these quotes from November 2008:

“Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon.’

“But Claudio Ranieri is right in saying that I am very demanding with myself, I need to win to be happy. In his mentality he said that does not need to win to be happy. He may have had this mentality for this almost 60 years.

“He has won a Super Cup, a small cup. He has never won a major trophy. Maybe he needs to change his mindset but he is too old to do it.”

Wow. Just wow.

We know it’s international week but Jose Mourinho launched his incredible attack on Leicester boss Claudio Ranieri (before he was Leicester boss) just seven years ago.


Exclusive club
The Sun,
the Daily Mirror and the Daily Mail all claim exclusively on their back pages that Sunderland are hopeful of appointing Sam Allardyce. Somebody isn’t very good at keeping secrets.


Is it just me?
Theo Walcott, October 7: “I know everyone would like to see me up front.”

October 9: Harry Kane expected to start up front for England against Estonia.

Is that ‘everyone’ but Roy Hodgson (and presumably Harry Kane)?


On a slightly different page
Jeremy Cross in the Daily Star, p47: ‘(Harry) Kane will spearhead England’s attack when Hodgson’s men take on minnows Estonia.’

Dave Woods in the Daily Star, p44: ‘WAYNE ROONEY’S ankle knock could prove a big bonus for Roy Hodgson and England. That’s because it gives the Three Lions boss a chance to see if Theo Walcott can cut it as a centre-forward at international level.’

Woods claims to be both ‘IN THE KNOW’ and ‘INSIDE THE GAME’. He might want to have a word with his contacts.


Wing man
Not only does the Daily Mail’s Neil Ashton have a problem with ‘laptop gurus’, he also has an incredibly short memory. He writes in Friday’s Mail about Harry Kane starting up front for England as though it is some kind of watershed moment, as if this were the first time that Wayne Rooney’s position as England’s frontline striker has been questioned.

‘England’s record goalscorer been the main man up front since Euro 2004 and yet injury has forced Hodgson’s hand for a qualifying fixture against one of the weakest nations in world football,’ writes Ashton.

Erm, Mediawatch is pretty sure that Rooney started the last World Cup on the wing; we seem to remember that there was quite a fuss at the time.


Question of the day
‘Pictured: Scotland fan invades Hampden pitch for selfie with Robert Lewandowski…but did it cost us our Euro 2016 dream?’ – The Daily Record.

No. That would be the sh*t Scotland side who have won only three of their nine qualifiers.


Headline of the day


Recommended reading of the day
Ewan Murray on the brutal truths Scotland must accept.
Michael Walker’s emotive match report from Windsor Park.
Seb Stafford-Bloor on why Branislav Ivanovic deserves more respect.

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