Liverpool still better than City; Lavia rejected Reds over ‘history’; Telegraph v Infantino for nonsense

Editor F365
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp celebrates
Jurgen Klopp knows Liverpool will always be the best

Liverpool are still the bestest team ever because Man City and Chelsea are rubbish. But we start with the big clash between the Telegraph and Infantino.


That thing you like is rubbish actually
Mediawatch could go line by line through Ross Clark’s piece in the Daily Telegraph, which declares that ‘England’s Lionesses don’t deserve a bank holiday’ even if they beat Spain on Sunday.

It appears to be the very first time Clark has ever written on football at all, men’s or women’s, so a pat on the head to someone whose work tends only to focus on ranting about ‘Remainers’ or ‘woke’ people. Always good to broaden your horizons.

And fair play for keeping the pretence up all the way to the final paragraph, which ends with a lovely pop at ‘workshy Britain’ and how the population doesn’t need ‘even more excuses to stay away from the office’. The overlords will be pleased.

But ultimately, when the world’s edgiest, most fragile man can’t make it as far as three lines without proudly stating ‘I haven’t watched a single minute of the tournament,’ before going on to tell us how important his opinion on the subject is, it feels a little futile to just call a kn*b a kn*b.

Mediawatch hasn’t watched a single minute of Clark’s life but can use this platform to say with authority and certainty that his family aren’t proud of him. Is that how this sh*t works? Is this journalism? And why do Daily Telegraph columnists in particular feel so apparently threatened by successful women in football?


Gianni, are you okay?
Yet somehow Clark was challenged for peak misogynism on Friday:

From the man who brought us, “Today, I feel disabled,” perhaps it shouldn’t be all that surprising. All it’s missing is the Harry Enfield voiceover.


Trophy strife
The Liverpool Echo probably hoped not to have to keep updating their running trophy tally feature quite so frequently when they published it in June to undermine Manchester City’s Treble.

But with another Super Cup in the bag for Pep Guardiola’s side, it is absolutely imperative to ensure everyone still knows that Liverpool are the bestest of all the teams forever and ever. So…

Liverpool still top as Man City cannot get close and Chelsea truth clear

Liverpool have 50 trophies, you see. Then Man Utd have 46, Arsenal are on 31, Chelsea are on 28 and Manchester City – rubbish, smelly Manchester City – have just 27. Pathetic.

It should probably be pointed out that Manchester City had 14 upon Guardiola’s appointment at the Etihad in summer 2016, meaning they have almost doubled their number in just over seven seasons. Feels like they’re at least getting closer.

But what of this ‘Chelsea truth’, revealed as it is so conveniently soon after Liverpool’s public transfer embarrassments at the hands of the Blues?

There has also been plenty of talk in recent days as to whether or not Chelsea are a bigger club than Liverpool. The Londoners still trail the Reds by a total of 22 major titles, leaving them with plenty of work to do to be viewed as the one of England’s elite.

If telling yourself that Chelsea still have ‘plenty of work to do to be viewed as the one of [sic] England’s elite’ helps you sleep at night, go for it. It’s good to see John Aldridge getting regular shifts at the Echo now either way.


All roads lead to Romeo
Romeo Lavia has played right into that laborious rivalry upon the confirmation of his move to Chelsea.

“I think the project and the ambitions of the club were key factors,” the Belgian midfielder told his new side’s official website. “But also the history behind it, so these three factors were determining in my decision.”

You can’t just list things and mention a number without knowing full well that’s going to be chucked into some headlines, fella. And maybe even CAPITALISED:

‘Romeo Lavia reveals his THREE reasons for picking Chelsea and snubbing Liverpool as his £58m transfer is confirmed – and ex-Southampton star says ‘history’ is one of them!’ – MailOnline, who use it as their top story with a huge caption of ‘WHY I SNUBBED REDS’.

‘Romeo Lavia explains ‘three factors’ behind Liverpool snub in favour of Chelsea transfer’ – Liverpool Echo.

‘Romeo Lavia lists three reasons for picking Chelsea over Liverpool including their history’ – Daily Mirror website.

‘Romeo Lavia names three reasons he rejected Liverpool to join Chelsea as move confirmed’ – Daily Express website.

Did Lavia mention Liverpool at any point whatsoever? Nope.

Is Lavia giving the reasons behind joining Chelsea the same as giving reasons behind turning Liverpool down? Nope.

Is it specifically cheeky to pretend that Lavia picked Chelsea over Liverpool because of “history”? Oh yes.

Did everyone else shout the number when reading the Mail’s headline in their heads? SURELY.


Wherefore art thou?
Lavia reveals ‘three factors’ tempted him to choose Chelsea over Liverpool as £53m deal is completed‘ – Football365.

Oh for fu…


Dwight noise
‘Maguire told he has no option than to quit Man Utd after Shaw ‘humiliation” – Daily Mirror website.

Dwight Yorke must not be familiar with the concept of a mutual contract, of which Maguire’s at Manchester United has two years left.

For a player with ‘no option than to quit’, Maguire seems weirdly content to stay.


Says something
Feast your eyes on this absolute stunner of a MailOnline headline, which displays just how thoroughly the football lexicon has butchered two relatively straightforward words:

Roy Hodgson says he has ‘great admiration’ for Mikel Arteta despite Arsenal’s ‘gut-wrenching’ end to last season… as the Crystal Palace boss insists it is a major boost Michael Olise will stay after snubbing Chelsea

The use of ‘despite’ is excellent, implying that Hodgson’s ‘great admiration’ for Arteta might have been damaged by Arsenal bottling the title.

But that ‘insists’ is gloriously nonsensical. Football manager ‘insists’ it is good for football club to keep one of their best football players. Did someone suggest otherwise and Hodgson felt compelled to interject and set them straight?