‘Incomprehensible’ Liverpool transfer immediately comprehended by Bayern ‘hero’

Low tide in Mediawatch Bay this morning, sadly, with a routine Carabao win for Manchester United over Crystal Palace reserves no use to anyone. There is some nonsense about a Liverpool transfer, though, so that’s good.

Comprehension test
‘Liverpool transfer branded ‘incomprehensible’ by Bayern Munich and Germany hero’

A headline from the Daily Star there that does two important things to what Torsten Frings – for it is he – actually said. One, it makes it sound like it was Liverpool who did the incomprehensible thing and more importantly two, that he, Torsten Frings, Bayern Munich and Germany hero, thinks said transfer was incomprehensible.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

No great surprise to learn the Liverpool transfer this Bayern Munich hero (one season with the club in 2004/5, by the way) is talking about is Ryan Gravenberch’s, but what did he actually say about it?

Well, it was this.

“It is incomprehensible to many that such a young talent, for whom they paid a lot of money (£16m), goes to Liverpool – for an unbelievable amount of money. But you also have to understand the coach to a certain extent.

“If a player doesn’t fit into the philosophy, it might make more sense to tell the player that and then let him decide whether he tries to assert himself or not looking for the opportunity at another club.”

So it’s incomprehensible to many. But crucially not to Frings himself, which we know because in the very quotes on which the Daily Star hang their entire narrative he immediately goes on to explain precisely how he comprehends it.

Law and order
Genuinely baffling headline plonked atop Colin Millar’s Mirror story about Marc Cucurella’s Chelsea future or lack thereof.

‘Marc Cucurella wants to leave Chelsea in January after seeing his proposed transfer to Manchester United break down in summer – with Mauricio Pochettino open to an exit’ is the non-combustible and some would say pretty obviously true subhead.

But that sits below a rather more bombastic main headline version of events…

Marc Cucurella lays down the law to Mauricio Pochettino after blocking Man Utd transfer

‘I would like to leave in January.’

‘Cool.’

Law. Laid down.

Championship fight
Hilarity abounds at The Sun with the news that Barcelona might be ‘looking to raid’ the Championship – sorry, CHAMPIONSHIP – for talent next summer.

The Catalan giants have left fans confused over reports that they are interested in signing Wilfred Ndidi from Leicester City.

Well, probably not that confused. He’s a very good player available for free next summer, which is very on brand for Barcelona’s current transfer strategy. They did try to sign him a couple of years ago when he was valued by the Foxes at £70m, while he’s also been linked with Bayern Munich, Atletico Madrid and Juventus.

Let’s not pretend Barcelona are hunting around Championship clubs as a matter of course, but merely keeping an eye one specific player at one – let’s be honest – atypical Championship club that very probably won’t still be a Championship club when/if this move were to materialise anyway.

Hateful EIGHT
No real point here other than we have to make a stand against what is surely an unacceptable scoreline presentation method in this Daily Mail headline.

Manchester United’s Under-21s are thrashed EIGHT-1 by League One Bolton in their EFL Trophy clash… as Wanderers notch up their biggest win for 40 years

Just no. No, no, no. Shaking with rage here. Mediawatch absolutely cannot and will not have ‘EIGHT-1’ as a way of writing 8-1 no matter how much you love inserting random ALL CAPS into your unnecessarily long headlines. Besides, we all know that the accepted text-based method of drawing further attention to a notably large number of goals for one team is the tried and tested vidiprinter approach of adding the word in brackets after the number. Do better next time.

No sh*t headline of the day
‘One of world’s most iconic football stadiums with 99,000 capacity looks unrecognisable after demolition’

Well… yeah, suppose it would do, The Sun.