Manchester United ‘probe’ launched: Ten Hag to ‘confront’ yet another star over ‘major rule’ break
Erik ten Hag has banished Jadon Sancho and Anthony Martial but Raphael Varane might be next as he ‘may have breached a major club rule’ at Manchester United.
Raphael ticket
It is always lovely to hear from Neil Custis – mainly because Mediawatch knows most of the day’s column is sorted if his byline is knocking around – but his Manchester United exclusives seemed to taper off a little recently.
Custis could not be stopped over the summer. He bravely led the way for The Sun on the Old Trafford takeover, writing on August 4 that ‘Manchester United are convinced they will get a deal done by November to sell the club to the Qataris’ after ‘a big leap forward’ in negotiations.
By August 22, Sheikh Jassim was ‘set to complete his full £6BILLION takeover of Manchester United by mid-October’ as he had ‘fought off rival bidder British billionaire Sir Jim Ratcliffe’ to assume full control of the club from the Glazers.
That’s two glowing exclusives, which is about as many actual images as there are of a man who received a metric tonne of positive PR for efforts which never actually included him specifically speaking or doing anything that might otherwise prove he really exists.
A reminder that despite his apparent protestations to the contrary – leaked through media contacts, obviously – official filings on the takeover were reported on Thursday and made clear that Sheikh Jassim never provided proof or the source of funding for his takeover bid. It’s almost as if he spent the last few months taking certain malleable journalists for a ride.
For an insight into just how well Custis took the whole thing, witness his delight at the very provably real Ratcliffe introducing himself to the press pack:
🚨 Sir Jim Ratcliffe met with media pre-match and confirmed he expects completion in "early to mid February… [providing] they don't find anything dodgy on our CV!"
He added he'll be at games "quite a lot" and said he "can't comment" whether he'll have influence over January. pic.twitter.com/8PPoL2KFqS
— Ben Jacobs (@JacobsBen) January 14, 2024
There’s a man realising his Qatari contacts might not be as useful as first thought.
But Custis is nothing but persistent and you can’t keep a good journalist down – as long as he has access to Instagram, from where he produces this back-page exclusive, as parroted on The Sun website:
‘Raphael Varane faces Erik Ten Hag probe over winter break photo as Man Utd defender may have breached major club rule’
And this suddenly sounds rather serious. ‘Probe’ and ‘breached’ are two words you don’t want in a headline, particularly not if there’s a ‘photo’ too. The Manchester United crisis continues.
What has Varane done to attract the apparent fury of Ten Hag? Sent him an image of his career path to show he has never played in the Eredivisie? WhatsApped him some hair loss remedies? Defaced a picture of Antony? This really could be anything.
‘RAPHAEL VARANE is on a slippery slope with Manchester United boss Erik ten Hag after photographing himself at a ski resort.’
That sounds innocuous enough. Are you sure this hasn’t been used as an excuse to get as many skiing puns in your copy as possible? Been used as an excuse to get as many skiing puns in your copy as possible, hasn’t it?
‘The French World Cup winner, 30, on Thursday posted an Instagram picture of himself enjoying his free time – given to all United players this week – at the unknown snow-covered destination.’
‘The unknown snow-covered destination’ is absolutely incredible elegant variation. And it’s only the second paragraph, which bodes well.
By the third, we finally discover how Varane ‘may have breached major club rule’.
‘It is understood United forbid players to go skiing during the season due to the risk of injury.’
That seems fair. But from the photo alone – and that is all Custis and anyone else has to go off here – it is clear to see Varane a) is not skiing, b) has not been skiing and c) is not preparing to go skiing.
As Custis himself writes: ‘While the picture itself only shows the defender standing there, with slopes and skiers in the background, he is sure to be quizzed upon his return to Old Trafford.’
There is a chance someone will ask him what he got up to during his break, yes. At which point Varane will likely answer that he went to an unknown snow-covered destination for a bit but obviously did not partake in any skiing. Does that qualify as a ‘probe’ now?
‘Manager Ten Hag will be piste off if he learns the injury prone centre-back was reckless in taking part in any skiing.’
At least you’re having some fun, Neil. That picture of you seething at the mere sight of Ratcliffe had Mediawatch worried.
‘Last night a representative for Varane insisted he had not been skiing at the resort.’
Way to bury that little nugget nine paragraphs in. Not like it undermines your entire story – back page of the newspaper and top of the website – or anything.
‘But it may only be downhill from here for four-time Champions League winner Varane, who moved to Old Trafford from Real Madrid in July, 2021 for £42million.’
One last pun on a player whose Manchester United career is going so ‘downhill’ that he has just completed the full 90 minutes in three consecutive Premier League games for the first time since last February. Lovely. There’s one person taking the piste here and it isn’t Varane.
READ MORE: Liverpool hit after losing replay, Man Utd punished for Antony – why each club will be docked points
Ski learnings
The Sun publishing such nonsense obviously gives everyone else carte blanche to follow suit, and the Daily Mirror website rarely need an excuse to write something daft.
‘Man Utd star Raphael Varane risks Erik ten Hag’s wrath with winter break photograph’ is their take on how the defender ‘could have to apologise’ to his manager ‘after he hinted at an unsanctioned skiing trip’.
So now the trip was ‘unsanctioned’? Players were given free time to do whatever they wished within reason. Going to a ski resort and not skiing likely falls within that remit. Yet Varane might be forced to ‘apologise’? It’s not quite Jadon Sancho MK II, is it?
‘People were clearly skiing in the background, an activity that has been banned by Man United officials due to the threat of injury. Later in the story, Varane also shared images of himself and his children enjoying the wintery conditions, while a video of a band serenading punters in the ski lodge.’
Translation: at no stage is there proof that Varane went skiing. But the bloke is bang to rights as ‘people were clearly skiing in the background’. Game over, fella. You’ve slipped up.
‘According to The Sun, a representative of Varane confirmed that he had not taken part in the extreme sport but he could still face tough questions from Erik ten Hag once he returns to Old Trafford.’
One man’s ‘probe’ is another’s series of ‘tough questions’. And again, ‘good break, Raph? Did you go skiing?’ is not exactly an interrogation.
Varane Varane
Then the Daily Star website get involved with ‘Man Utd star may have ‘broken club rule’ as Erik ten Hag gets set to confront him’.
This has escalated drastically from a ‘probe’ to ‘tough questions’ and now Ten Hag – by dictionary definition – coming face to face with Varane with hostile or argumentative intent.
The World Cup winner ‘is suspected of breaking one of the club’s golden rules’ and ‘may have ruffled a few feathers back home’ with his pictures, which ‘which may well have raised some alarms with his bosses’.
‘There’s no proof Varane actually donned a pair of skis himself, though that hasn’t diminished tensions in reaction to his Instagram story.’
Probably has though, hasn’t it? Feels like those ‘tensions’ have been entirely fabricated by one particular group, and are not shared whatsoever by Varane, Ten Hag or Manchester United as a club.
Show and tell
‘Man Utd documents show how close Sheikh Jassim was to buying club from Glazers outright’ – Daily Mirror website.
Not very – Mediawatch, and probably a sad Neil Custis.