Manchester United to shatter world transfer record if they find £25m buyer for Casemiro

Manchester United have never made more than £100m on player sales in a single season but will break the world record for transfer income this summer.

I SPY
Mediawatch does not intend to spend a great deal of time on this story. We would much prefer to ignore Harry Redknapp being Harry Redknapp. But when the MailOnline is the MailOnline about Harry Redknapp being Harry Redknapp we do not have a choice.

‘Harry Redknapp filmed making crude joke about England boss Thomas Tuchel being ‘a German SPY’ who has been ‘sent over to f*** us up”

You sure you’re happy with the word you’ve chosen to capitalise there, guys? Absolutely positive? Or have we finally got over the fact Tuchel is GERMAN?

‘The decision to appoint the former Chelsea and Bayern Munich boss met with a mixed response due to his nationality, despite his proven record of winning silverware at club level.’

Indeed it was. You might say it was A DARK DAY FOR ENGLAND. You only might say that if you are absurdly childish, but still. You might.

‘He did however make a comfortable, winning start to his tenure last week, with a 2-0 win over Albania and a 3-0 victory against Latvia to kickstart the Tuchel era.’

Tuchel’s start was so ‘comfortable’ that one prominent Mail journalist was left wondering how long he had to wait before being able to dig out the players again for being rubbish. It was so very comfortable.

Close contact
This is the last bit on Redknapp, promise. But Mediawatch just wanted to highlight Jacob Steinberg’s closing paragraph in his exclusive story for The Guardian:

‘The Guardian has attempted to contact Redknapp for a response.’

Hopefully not via fax, email or text.

Desperate times call for desperate transfers
The only problem with moving on is that there is little to move on to on an international break Friday ahead of an FA Cup weekend in which none of the clickiest clubs feature.

But while Manchester United exist, so will daft stories like this from the Daily Mirror website:

‘Man Utd desperately bid to raise £310m this summer by selling eight players’

Can you ‘desperately’ generate £310m through player sales? No club has ever generated as much through player sales in a single transfer window in the history of the sport, ‘desperately’ or otherwise. It isn’t something a team just does.

The term itself and indeed the reality of Manchester United’s specific situation suggests they are not in a position of particular negotiating strength.

But let’s have it. How will famously atrocious selling club Manchester United, 13th in the Premier League table, whose biggest entire season in terms of sales was 2009/10 when they happened to possess the best player in world football to help them make about £100m, and who have made just over £300m through player sales in 15 transfer windows since January 2018, generate £310m through player sales in summer 2025 alone?

It’s a very easy start: Marcus Rashford. They’ll probably find a buyer if not Aston Villa themselves. That’s £40m ticked off. £270m and seven players to go.

Next is Antony and an immediate stumbling block. Manchester United could indeed ‘choose to sell him permanently for a fee of around £40m,’ but someone would have to ‘choose’ to sign him for as much. And as relatively decent as he has been at Real Betis, that really is rather a lot of money to chuck around, especially when he’s not really been linked with anyone.

Jadon Sancho and £25m you can have, even if transfer-obsessed Chelsea seem to be contemplating spending money specifically not to sign players now.

That still leaves five players and £105m to account for if we are being incredibly generous and assuming Antony can be shuffled out of the door for £40m. Which he can’t, but still.

Kobbie Mainoo. That’s a bit better. Again, Manchester United ‘could choose to sell’ but any deal would depend on another club also choosing to spend £70m, which feels less likely than it did a few months ago.

Andre Onana. £40m. How? Where from? Doesn’t matter. Shut up. Bank it.

Alejandro Garnacho. £60m. Maybe? It’s more likely than Antony for £40m, certainly. But still quite improbable in the grand scheme of things. Manchester United simply putting valuations on players doesn’t mean they will automatically be met; they cannot just this player is worth this much and then count it towards their PSR.

But look, we’ve come this far. We have six players being sold for £275m to incredibly generous buyers, and can envisage absolutely no problems in Manchester United, also notoriously excellent at signing players as they are, reinvesting that money on a new starting keeper, central midfielder and wide forward at the absolute bare minimum before strengthening the rest of the squad.

There is still £35m to account for across two players in what remains of this butchered squad. What are we missing?

‘United could earn a decent cash injection from selling two of their older stars. Casemiro and Harry Maguire…’

Nope. If Manchester United are able to sell Casemiro for £25m to a real actual football club that exists in 2025 then Mediawatch will transfer the other £285m to Sir Jim personally.

Just give me a reason
Mediawatch understands where Liverpool fan Andy Dunn is coming from when he explains in the Daily Mirror that ‘there is little room for logic, common sense or reason’ when it comes to the wider reaction at Trent Alexander-Arnold’s expected departure.

But this is a wonderful paragraph:

‘Of course, the lifestyle and the challenge in the Spanish capital is very alluring. He will be playing alongside brilliant team-mates in a great stadium and great city. But, essentially, Alexander-Arnold – if the move is confirmed – will be saying he would rather, for whatever the reasons, be playing for Real Madrid than for Liverpool.’

Yes. Yes he would. That is indeed the essence of a transfer. And ‘whatever the reasons’ is brilliant: how about a) the fact he has won every possible trophy at Liverpool, and b) it’s Real sodding Madrid?

Public property No.1
In the middle of an otherwise excellent piece by Dominic King in the Daily Mail comes this paragraph:

‘Liverpool is a city with its own views on how things should be done, especially so when it comes to football. If you are a local boy who gets to do what the millions dreamed of doing, you become public property. There simply wouldn’t be the same level of hysteria anywhere else in the country.’

This Means More. Every other club pats their best academy graduates on the back and wishes them all the best when they leave for free.

Pressure, pushing down on me
There is sympathy for the headline writer tasked with making John Cross’s latest piece on Arsenal more appealing.

Cross has essentially just noticed Arsenal play two Premier League games before Liverpool next play one. Why he has felt compelled to point this out ahead of a weekend in which neither play is unknown, and the pretence that this is the ‘last chance’ for the Gunners in the league collapses almost immediately.

‘Arsenal have one more chance to pressure Liverpool in title race – they can’t waste it’ is the chosen headline but by the second paragraph Arsenal’s Premier League aim is reduced to them needing to ‘apply some pressure on Liverpool at the top’, and by the fifth they must ‘at least make the Premier League table look respectable even if they cannot close the gap’.

‘It is hard to imagine that Arsenal could win all their games between now and the rest of the season and even harder to think that Liverpool – having lost one Premier League game all season – could suddenly lose four.’

Well, yes. It’s almost like the title race is over and the media steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that.

‘But equally, Arsenal have to apply some pressure because losing the title by double figures would have to go down as a major disappointment for Gunners boss Arteta.’

‘Not losing the title by double figures’ sounds exactly like Arsenal’s dream, best-case scenario actually.