Emiliano Martinez blamed in ‘utter b*llocks’ and ‘very lazy’ criticism after Aston Villa defeat

Aston Villa keeper Emiliano Martinez should be ashamed. He ‘did not dive at all’ for the first PSG goal and committed an actual crime in conceding the second.

A case for the DEFENCE
‘Saliba tells Arsenal not to DEFEND when they make trip to Real Madrid’ is a frankly mad headline on The Sun website, implying as it does that an Arsenal defender has told Arsenal specifically not to defend/DEFEND when they face Real Actual Madrid next week.

And that would be a really silly suggestion. Arsenal are three goals ahead in the Champions League quarter-final tie but if they refuse to defend/DEFEND for the entirety of the second leg that advantage would be entirely wiped out soon enough. They had to defend/DEFEND to win 3-0 at the Emirates and must do the same again at the Bernabeu if they want to advance.

Here is Saliba’s daft tactical advice in full:

“We are not scared. We want to go there and win the game. We cannot defend the whole game. We won 3-0 but we know it is not finished. There are a lot of things that can happen.”

Because a player making the obvious point that “we cannot defend the whole game” is definitely the same as him telling his teammates ‘not to DEFEND’ at all.

The Emi award
PSG are in a similar position and have probably already come to terms with the fact they will have to DEFEND at points when they visit Aston Villa next week.

But if Martin Samuel of The Times is to be believed, it might not matter if Villa have the Argentinean Massimo Taibi in net.

‘His team could have lost by more were it not for Martinez’s resilience, particularly early on, but the goals that Paris Saint-Germain did score would not have left any goalkeeper with the highest standards – and Martinez is certainly that – happy.’

You mean the stunning curler from outside the area which clipped the underside of the crossbar before going in? Or the thunderous strike into the roof of the net from about 12 yards out after some brilliant footwork? Perhaps the clever dummy and finish the centre-half in front of him also fell for?

Which of those are we blaming Martinez for again?

‘He did not dive at all for the first, from Desire Doue…’

F**king hell, the first one it is. It was an absolutely phenomenal strike, powerful and curling and through a fair few bodies en route to hitting the crossbar and going in. The most uber-critical keeper would struggle to take responsibility for that. The most uber-critical journalist can pretend it belongs on a Nick Hancock DVD by writing that the keeper ‘made no attempt to stop Doue’s shot’.

Of course he sodding didn’t. It was a brilliant shot which few if any keeper would have saved.

‘…while the second, from Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, defeated him at his near post.’

Jesus, the second one too? If your first thought when watching Kvaratskhelia twist Axel Disasi inside out before smashing a swerving effort in off the post at full speed was ‘Ah, can’t be beaten at your near post, fella,’ then this really isn’t the sport for you.

Martinez ‘got done’ apparently. All because the near-post myth is propagated well into big 2025 by people who should know better.

‘That Doue’s goal was one of the most sweetly arcing shots it is possible to imagine – think an even more refined version of Declan Rice’s free kicks against Real Madrid – while Kvaratskhelia took the substitute Axel Disasi apart, twice, before unleashing a hit of terrifying power, could certainly be advanced as mitigation.’

It could, it will and it should. It is ludicrous to blame Martinez for those goals, whether he put some colours in his hair or wore a funny cap before the game or not.

READ MORE: Aston Villa lose to PSG while the rest of us lose to Rio Ferdinand and TNT Sports

So near, yet so far
But here is Ian Ladyman in the Daily Mail, also reading from his big book of cliches:

‘Could Martinez have done better? No keeper likes to be beaten there.’

No keeper ‘likes to be beaten’ anywhere. But the idea Martinez will be more frustrated that this brilliant shot at the end of some phenomenal attacking play happened to be at his near post and he ‘failed’ to save it is preposterous.

Mediawatch feels a little like it’s going mad at this point so let’s bow down to some more expert opinion.

Like Kasper Schmeichel: “It’s always a big frustration for every goalkeeper when a non-goalkeeper pundit tries to get into technicalities about goalkeeping. You hear things like, ‘You should never get beat on your near post’. Utter b*llocks. Literally, someone’s just plucked that out of thin air and gone, ‘I’m going to make this a rule’. A shot that goes in at the near post might be a bloody good shot. It might come through bodies, it might come through legs, it might have too much power and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Or Asmir Begovic: “One of the myths we have to try and kill really is the near-post myth. It’s a very lazy commentary, because if you look at the pace of a ball, if someone’s five, ten yards in front of you and the pace beats you, it doesn’t matter if it’s near post, far post or any post, it’s going to beat you. The only time goalkeepers, if you’re going to give really constructive criticism, is if it goes through them.”

Or Roman Burki: “Anyone who has played in goal knows it’s a huge area and you try to cover the whole goal. You can’t try and cover the whole goal and guarantee the ball won’t go in at the near post if it’s a great shot. Near post, far post, you try to cover it all and you’re not happy if it goes in anywhere.”

Even factoring in the goalkeepers’ union, those are just three who have performed at the highest level who know it is a nonsense. If you want a cliche, you could have stuck all three in the net alongside Martinez and they wouldn’t have saved Kvaratskhelia’s shot.

MORE ASTON VILLA REACTION FROM F365
👉 Mbappe and Vinicius being shamed by brilliant PSG would be best for football
👉 ‘Clumsy’ Rashford endured ‘very difficult’ match as 3/10 Aston Villa star told to ‘get rid of ego stuff’

The most modern football journalism headline ever?
‘Gary Neville shows true Virgil van Dijk colours as Liverpool contract reaction speaks volumes’ – Liverpool Echo.

No-one knows what it means but it’s provocative, it gets the people going.

Carra on
‘Jamie Carragher commits ‘cardinal sin of television’ as pundit’s true colours emerge’ – Daily Mirror website.

It turns out that Jamie Carragher and his daughter are fond of one another. Those ‘true colours’ come out in the wash eventually.

Segundo amendment
‘Prem star-turned-boss compared to Marge Simpson as he wears PINK TUXEDO’ – The Sun website.

Segundo Castillo, whose 17 Premier League appearances for Everton and Wolves were all on loan. Nope.