Footballers on holidays: A special
How do you reach the peak of Daily Telegraph website’s new embrace of tabloid stories? By merging the concept of ‘footballer goes on holiday’ with a 20-URL gallery, of course. ‘Expert analysis, fixtures, results and team news’ reads the page description on the Telegraph football homepage. Which does this come under?
For all Mediawatch’s concerns about the dumbing down of the industry, we truly never thought we’d read the line ‘[Sanchez] even took his famous pet golden retrievers on his yacht with him’ on the website of a broadsheet newspaper.
British jobs for British people
‘One final point about new Southampton manager Mauricio Pellegrino,’ begins Martin Samuel in the Daily Mail. Southampton again – who’d have guessed?
‘In summer 2012 he was appointed manager of Valencia, who had come third the previous season; he left on December 1 that year, Valencia 12th in the table, having won 10 of 21 matches.
‘He returned to Argentina and rebuilt his career with Estudiantes and Independiente. Gary Neville also went to Valencia, in more difficult circumstances, did poorly and got the sack in his first season, too. There is no chance of him being allowed to put his career back together at any Premier League club in England – and certainly not two of equivalent size to Estudiantes and Independiente.’
Indeed. It’s almost like Neville and Pellegrino are different people who might have different coaching abilities, and that Argentina and England are very different leagues. Also, is it a case of Neville ‘not being allowed’ into any Premier League club in England, or that he said in September last year: “I can’t now go back into coaching in the short term, in the next five years – and the reality of it is I don’t want to”?
Mohamed Salah: The inside track
Mediawatch wants to issue a shout-out to the Liverpool Echo for headlining their interview ‘Mohamed Salah reveals Liverpool ambitions’. For if Mediawatch has ever read an interview that contains fewer ‘reveals’, we’d be surprised.
We don’t use this term lightly, but this is a classic of its genre. The 12 questions generate answers totalling 109 words. Now that’s presumably due to Salah’s limited use of English, but then it’s a bit rich to claim the interview ‘reveals his ambitions’.
Q: What is your perfect day off?
A: Stay at home, relax, don’t talk to anyone. Don’t do interviews.
Q: What’s the best thing about football?
A: It’s important to have a good life and respect each other.
Q: What was the last lie you told?
A: I never lie.
Q: What makes you angry?
A: Losing an important game, losing any game.
When asked for the first thing he does each morning, Salah replies: “The first thing I do each morning is smile and keep quiet for a couple of minutes.”
It’s just a shame that James Pearce called Salah during those two quiet minutes.
Know your audience
‘Ayr United’s kit suddenly very popular after launch event with topless model in body paint’ reads the Daily Mirror’s piece by Mike Wilson.
Yes that’s right, after Ayr United previously launched their kit using a topless woman in a desperate and unpleasant bid to gain publicity, they’ve done the same again. Because they are a bunch of shameless w*nkers.
‘Ayr United have risked another storm using a topless model in body paint to show off their new kit,’ Wilson writes.
A STORM IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT, GUYS. And you giving them the publicity only increases the woeful notion that using naked women to sell football kits is acceptable.
Congratulations to the Daily Record, The Sun and Daily Mail, who also cover the kit launch complete with pictures. Mediawatch is off for a cry.
Any old sh*t is a story
Sticking with the Daily Mirror – for Wednesday was a particular rotten morning on their website – and a story entitled ‘The remarkable differences between Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo with their shirts off’.
The ‘remarkable difference’ appears to be that Ronaldo is more toned than Wayne Rooney. More news as we get it…
‘Who is Victor Lindelof’s girlfriend? Everything you need to know about Maja Nilsson’ – Goal.com.
Sadly the article doesn’t just say: ‘Nothing. You need to know nothing about her. And we need to tell you nothing about her. Grow up.’
‘Virgil van Dijk will sign for Liverpool if they pay what Southampton want – Steve Nicol’ – Daily Express.
Yes, that’s how deals are agreed.
Description of the day
‘Arguably the man of the match at the Tychy City Stadium, Will Hughes shone in Poland as he ran Germany’s defence rugged’ – The Sun.
Make me sexy.
Headline of our times
‘The 9 weirdest, craziest, sexiest and most bizarre kit launches in football history’ – Daily Mirror.
When one superlative adjective just won’t do…
Worst headline of the day
‘Forget football, the All Blacks’ beautiful game has no equal’ – The Times.
Alternative headline: ‘People like different things.’
Recommended reading of the day
Jack Pitt-Brooke on Matic and Mourinho.
Michael Cox on the search for the next N’Golo Kante.
Ryan Plant on Tim Howard.