Next Manchester United manager: Ten Hag rocked as shock candidate given unequivocal backing

Things have gone from bad to worse for Erik ten Hag at Manchester United, with Wayne Rooney sort of maybe ‘tipped’ to replace the Dutchman as manager.

Roon for improvement
Things are not going all that well for Erik ten Hag, for whom the Manchester United sack remains an entirely feasible outcome.

The question then would be who replaces him at Old Trafford, and the possibilities hardly engender a great deal of confidence. Graham Potter leads the contenders to take over at Manchester United; Julen Lopetegui is second.

But another name has been kindly introduced to the equation – handily enough on this most quiet of Fridays.

‘Wayne Rooney tipped to become Man Utd manager by former team-mate despite disastrous Birmingham stint’

Those scamps at The Sun website have cracked it. Rooney, sacked by Birmingham and with a win percentage of 26.1% across three jobs totalling just over 150 games in the Championship and MLS, is The Chosen One.

There are questions, of course. Rather a lot. Which ‘former team-mate’ has lost their minds to a sufficient degree to suggest this, for one. What has Eliaquim Mangala (one game together for Everton) said now?

‘WAYNE ROONEY could still become Manchester United manager despite his nightmare stint at Birmingham, says former team-mate Dimitar Berbatov.’

Oh, Dimi. That’s a silly thing to say. And that brings us to the next point: did he actually say it?

“I have no doubt that he is going to come back and be a manager because I think that’s what he likes to do. I think, ultimately, at one time in the future he would like to be the manager of Manchester United. How he is going to get there is another question.”

He did not. In fact, he specifically casts doubt on the very idea. It’s quite explicit really.

There follows much “hope” that Rooney can bounce back and two declarations that “you cannot argue with” his Birmingham sacking, but at no stage has Berbatov “tipped” Rooney for the job beyond saying he will want it. And ‘football manager would quite like a crack at Manchester United’ is not a particularly groundbreaking claim even before bringing Rooney’s playing career into the equation.

And the same goes for the Daily Mirror website, who can shout all they want that ‘Wayne Rooney’s ex-teammate insists he could STILL become Manchester United manager’, but it is still utter nonsense and not at all what Berbatov said.

Ten Hag has a few things to worry about with regards to his Manchester United post; the looming threat of Rooney’s tiny penis is not among them.

That’s Maur like it
There was a time when Mauricio Pochettino would be a Manchester United manager candidate but his role as Chelsea head coach has admittedly muddied those waters somewhat.

But the Argentinean’s own position is far from assured and Jeremy Cross of the Daily Star takes immense delight in that.

After some lovely sniping at ‘those who continue to worship at his feet’, his ‘deluded fan club’ and the apparent ‘media love-in’ which greeted his appointment at Stamford Bridge, Cross lays into Pochettino for ‘dining out on’ achievements like taking Spurs to a Champions League final – and yes, that really was an achievement – and winning a couple of pots with PSG.

‘Well done mate,’ he writes, before saying that ‘Chelsea are no better now than when Pochettino took charge’. And that is demonstrably false. Chelsea finished last season in 12th with 11 wins and 38 goals scored in the Premier League; they are 10th with eight wins, 34 goals scored and 18 games remaining.

Someone has definitely forgotten the ‘one win and nine goals in 11 games’ interim reign of Frank Lampard and really who can blame him?

Still, lovely dig at ‘a mediocre manager’ whose chief crime appears to be that some people think he’s quite good.

Pochettino himself would openly say things have not been great at Chelsea, but to pretend he has not overseen any improvement on what came immediately before him is plain daft. As Cross wrote when writing a similar hit piece in the summer, this is a ‘broken club’. Those who expected it to be fixed within a few months were either foolish, hoping to set someone up for a fall or both.

READ MORE: Mauricio Pochettino at Chelsea is just a great big nothing: No identity, no influence, nothing

Spouse of the dragon
You can almost see the impotent fury bubbling over at The Sun website as they write this about Sadio Mane’s new wife:

‘Unlike her sports star spouse, Aisha appears to remain out of the spotlight and has no presence on social media.’

All the poor sods want is an Instagram account to scour. For journalistic purposes, obviously.

Run for cover
‘Chelsea recall David Fofana from loan at Union Berlin to help cover for absent Nicolas Jackson and Christopher Nkunku… after scoring two goals in 17 games in Germany’ – MailOnline, January 11, 4.28pm.

‘Burnley set to sign Chelsea forward David Datro Fofana on loan for the rest of the season, with the 22-year-old’s medical due to take place in the next 48 hours’ – MailOnline, January 11, 10.26pm.

It’s quite the change of heart in six hours.

Great Scott
‘BODY TALK Alex Scott has a ‘strong affection’ for ‘rebellious’ Jess Glynn, says expert’ – The Sun website.

Exclusive: Actual couple quite like each other. Judi James isn’t paid the big bucks for nothing. Although perhaps, unlike the subs, she can actually spell both their names properly.

Radu sauce
It seems likely that new Spurs signing Radu Dragusin and partner Ioana Stan have a ‘strong affection’ for one another. The Sun website has been generous enough to offer the latter in particular a crash course in the English media.

‘Dragusin’s stunning Wag shares two-word statement after he completes Spurs move’

Congratulations to both Dragusin’s wife and girlfriend on their move and progressive relationship outlook.

Driving across the Mason-Dixon line
As deeply regrettable as the sheer desperation to crowbar a certain searchable surname into headlines is, there is reluctant applause due to The Sun website for teasing Arsenal’s bid for Borja Mayoral like this:

‘Arsenal make £22m offer for ex-Madrid striker starring alongside Greenwood’

You clever, dreadful people.

READ MORE: Arsenal hope £22m January target can carry La Liga hot streak better than Nicolas Jackson